Collateral Damage
by evalentine
Summary: Some of the choices you make in life can have on going devastating consequences. As the effects ripple outward can the damage be undone and hearts healed before it is too late? This is what Jack has to face three and half years after Ianto Jones walked out of his life without a word. For Gwen it is time for her to face the man she purports to love. Can he forgive her?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Collateral Damage

Author: evalentine99

Rating: Mature 16+

Fandom: Torchwood

Genre: Angst, Angst and more Angst, with a double helping of Angst on the side.

Pairings: Jack/Ianto Past. Jack/Gwen Past. Rhys/Gwen. OC

Alternate time line.

Beta: milady_dragon Torchwood- Copyright BBC. This Fan fiction has been created for enjoyment and is not for profit.

* * *

**Prologue.**

Jack lifted his braces onto his shoulders.

"How are we going to cope once Ianto stops his little excursions?" Gwen slid her bra back on. She turned, lifted her hair and Jack did up the hooks.

"I've been called innovative," Jack said as she turned and placed her forearms over his shoulders. Jack placed both his hands on her buttocks and pulled her in close. "I'll think of something." Jack found her lips.

"You're insatiable," she said as they came up for air.

Jack smiled and Gwen felt her insides melt. She loved the way he made her feel. She always thought they would be great together and she was right. He was the most attentive lover. It was like he had been born a woman. He knew exactly how to make her feel all wobbly.

"Jack Harkness, if this keeps up we will never get any work done," she teased as she pulled her blouse on followed by her jacket.

"I would rather do you," Jack growled.

"You'll have to catch me first."

Jack smirked as she took off up the stairs. "I need to introduce you to the delights of naked hide and seek." He leapt up the stairs two at a time

Reaching the top step he barrelled into the back of her.

"Got ya…" He stopped midsentence and followed Gwen's gaze.

"Myfanwy you are a bloody nuisance," she cursed. Myfanwy called out a cry of indignation from her nest. "And what have you done with my purse you bastard bird?" Picking up a lipstick she followed the line of scattered eyeliners and compacts to the far side of the room. "Ruined. I had over a hundred pounds of makeup." She turned and looked at her desk.

"My desk screens, keyboard..." she saw her chair went to move it and the back came off. '"And I am going to need a new chair."

"I'll talk to Ianto about releasing some petty cash," Jack bounced up the steps to his office.

"Petty cash! It's going to take more than petty cash. I had over one hundred pounds of makeup, my chair, keyboard, screens." As she spoke the last remaining screen crashed to the floor to join the others. She looked up in disgust then huffed up to Jack's office.

Her eyes widened at the devastation. His desk was turned over along with every filing cabinet and his book case. Books were ripped in half. The contents of the cabinets were strewn around the room. All the small objects that adorned his desk were in pieces. The precious coral was now nothing more than dust and fragments on the floor.

"She never, she couldn't Jack, she can't get through the door." Gwen bent down and picked up a fragment of coral. "This looks personal."

"Incursion, something has come through the Rift." Jack pulled out his Webley. Climbing over his desk he checked down the manhole that led to his quarters. He could see his coat on the floor but nothing else. He placed the cover over just in case.

"John Hart?" Gwen asked as she moved to what had been Owen's work station.

"Something or someone nasty," Jack shouted back.

"I'm putting the Hub into lockdown," Gwen added. Jack now started to sweep the main Hub level. The room echoed as the large roller door clanked into place.

"I'm calling up the CCTV footage now." Skilfully she found the time span. There was her and Jack kissing by her desk. She reminded herself to make sure she wiped it clean. They were getting carless. She felt a fission of guilt followed by a feeling of surety. She and Jack were meant to be. He loved her because he had told her so this very day. They were made for each other; it was just a question of time then they wouldn't have to hide any longer. Jack had to speak to Ianto; he must know it was coming. You could see it was all over. Whatever they had was long gone. She paused for a moment and her fingers hung over the keyboard.

It was always tragedy that was the breaking point. It was only then you found out people's true feelings. Happy times...well, anyone could make a relationship work when you were happy. The breaking point had come when Jack had turned to her after Owen and Tosh had died, and not Ianto. Only she could give Jack the comfort he so needed. Something caught her eye and she stopped the tape and scrolled back.

Finishing his sweep of the main Hub level Jack looked across and saw Gwen holding her hand over her mouth. "What?" He raced over and looked at stilled footage.

Jack pushed her aside and with a flick of the mouse watched the entire sequence.

"You said he had called and he wouldn't be back until tomorrow?" she accused as she saw Jack's face stiffen, blush then pale.

Jack pulled out his mobile and saw several missed text messages. He pressed speed dial four. He listened as it went to voice mail. Fumbling he tried other numbers to no avail.

His knees went and he staggered backwards then started too move towards the garage. Gwen stepped in front of him.

"Where the hell do you think you are going?" she demanded and looked at him, confused. Jack looked like a man coming out of some kind of deep sleep. If she didn't know better he looked like his world had ended.

"I have to go." He said it like he couldn't quite find the words to speak.

"It's happened Jack. You can't be surprised at his reaction. It's over, he knows. I'll speak to Rhys and we can be together," she cooed gently reaching out towards him in an effort to hold him.

"What?" Jack stared at her as if she was mad.

"You and me Jack...together." She drew back as his lip curled into a snarl. "You love me. You told me you loved me Jack. Here today. You held me in your arms and said those words, Jack; not just once but over and over," she argued, angry at his sudden turnaround.

"You don't understand."

"I understand we don't have to hide any longer. I understand that at last you and I can be lovers in every sense, Jack. We can build a life together. Together we can rebuild Torchwood and have a family, a life."

Jack took hold of her upper arms and shook her. "I just destroyed Ianto and you still want me?" He shouted into her face. Pushing her he reeled away.

"Yes," she called out to the empty room.

* * *

"Please tell me where Ianto is?" Jack pleaded as he stood before Rhiannon on her back door step, her arms crossed, blocking the way in to her house.

"He doesn't want to see you," Rhiannon told him point blank.

"Please I need to explain."

"What...you were lying down with your pants off, she tripped and fell on your dick?" Johnny said in disgust as he joined Rhiannon.

"No that's not it," Jack shouted back.

"He caught you in the act! Just how do you think you can talk your way out of this?" Rhiannon pointed out.

"I'm not trying to talk my way out of this. I just need to see him please."

Rhiannon stepped down and pushed a finger into Jack's chest. "He warned me you would come here; he said you would spin me a whole lot of lies about how much he means to you and how sorry you are. He warned me you would use all and any means necessary to find out where he was." She used her finger to punctuate every word, pushing him back. " I'm telling you, you cheating miserable bastard, you've broken my brother's heart."

Johnny spat at him. "Playing them both. Right, nice little game you had going. First him then her; it's disgusting."

"It's complicated. Please, I left messages, been to his flat. Do you want me to beg?" Jack got on his knees.

"Begging won't help you. Ianto is not here. Right now I don't know where he is. Even if I did you would be the last person I would tell." Rhiannon crossed her arms.

"He went somewhere today. He had an appointment and he wouldn't tell me anything. He said he would tell me when he knew. Is that why he came back early? He left a series of messages saying he needed to talk. Please I need to find him; make sure he's okay, please." Jack brought up his hands in supplication.

Rhiannon flared "Okay? You want to make sure he's OKAY? You broke his fucking heart with that slut and you want to find out if he's okay?"

Johnny put his arm around Rhiannon who was visibly shaking. "I think it's time you moved on," he said sternly.

"This is not over," Jack said as he moved back down the path.

"Nothing is ever going to be okay again," Rhi sobbed in Johnny's arms.


	2. Chapter One

**One**

* * *

Pushing the door open Ianto flicked on the light and let out a long sigh of exasperation. He knew his flat mate was not the most organised of human beings. All Leon had to do was pick up his remaining gear. Not a difficult task, Ianto had packed the majority of it himself. From the looks of things Leon had dragged all his stuff packed in boxes and strewn it around the floor. Ianto flipped open his phone to find he could only leave a message.

"Leon it's Ianto. If your gear is not out of my flat by 10am tomorrow I will he charging you another week's rent."

Using his feet to clear a path Ianto reached the kitchen. He dumped his backpack on the kitchen bench and flipped his phone closed. Ianto let out another sigh bigger than the first as he viewed the state of the kitchen. He swore he had told Leon that he had emptied all his plates and kitchen gear and stacked everything on the kitchen bench along with all his cutlery ready to be packed. Hell, he had even provided the boxes and the bubble wrap. For some reason be couldn't explain Leon had pulled out every plate, bowl, mug, glass and piece of cutlery. He felt something crunch underfoot and mentally added an aggravation fee to the long list of money Leon owed him.

He lifted his foot and saw it was part of a mug. He bent down and picked up two of the largest shards. It was one of two Rhiannon had given him supposedly from his nephew David last Christmas. He was not a sentimental person but both had been a touching gift from one of those draw and fire pottery places. Covered in squiggles, the phrase 'Uncle Ianto' on the one he was holding and 'Best Uncle Ever' on the other with David's name added in Rhiannon's hand. He tried to fit the pieces together and he felt his eyes water. He slammed the cupboard door shut. He took a sharp in breath and flinched against the pounding headache that had haunted him all day. He hated these fucking headaches. It was like each one took on its own personality. This one had gotten to the_' bang door of cupboard and see stars with searing flash of pain in forehead'_ stage.

He placed the shards on the bench and opened the front pocket of his backpack. Fumbling he reached in and pulled out a tablet strip and popped out two capsules. Now he had no fear of falling asleep at the wheel he could treat the massive headache made worse by oncoming headlights and ease the profound ache in his body. He threw the capsules into the back of his throat and washed them down with a half-finished sports drink he now pulled from his pack. He looked at his watch and opened another prescription bottle and shook out several small pills. He counted them off. Just enough to get him back to the clinic tomorrow morning. He separated out four with a fingertip then grimacing at the bitter flavour he washed them down. Now hopefully the pain meds would stay down.

Taking another look around at the mess a wave of fatigue rolled over him. He couldn't deal with this, not tonight. If he cleared up and went to sleep any later, he knew he would be in for an even bigger growling from the one he knew was coming.

He could hear Nancy's, the unit health nurse, admonishments ringing in his ears now. He knew he had been pushing it but he had so wanted to see the new baby, little Mica. Just holding her in his arms had made the long round trip worth it. She was perfect and he couldn't describe the feeling as she had curled her hand around his finger. God it had been amazing. She was so tiny he could hold her in the palm of both hands. He had to admit he had had trouble handing her back.

It had been a brilliant weekend; first the baby, catching up with Rhia, who was looking exhausted but proud. Then he had taken David out and spoiled him rotten. The weekend had culminated with him and David kicking a ball around in the back of his sister's garden; it was what being an uncle all was about. So what if he was a little tired? He wasn't going anywhere over the next few weeks. He had no idea when he would be well enough to make it down there again if ever. Certainly not the next month, he would only have the energy to go from here to the hospital, lay in bed staring at ceiling or have his head stuck down the toilet. He knew from bitter experience that no matter how good the anti-nausea medication was nothing could stop the nausea and vomiting once it began in earnest.

_'It's going to be grand,_' he snarked to himself. Weeks of people fussing about his electrolyte and pH balance. He had already handed over enough blood for twenty vampires. Not that any vampire would want his blood. He felt his stomach twist as he contemplated the continuing delights of having toxic chemicals flushed into his body. Five days and he had already had enough. He only hoped he could get through this round without being fully hospitalised like last time. He could handle being an outpatient but he hated the fuss that went with being admitted. That said he had felt so ill at the time he hadn't cared. It was being helpless he hated. The only good thing about this round was it was going to be the end. After the last a determination had grown that allowed him to take back a modicum of control. He was in charge of his own exit. No fuss, no one wringing their hands over him, he had it all planned.

* * *

One hand leaning up against the wall as he pissed he looked at the shower. It was tempting to ease the ache of his body under hot water, _'Nope too tired,'_ he told himself. He would get up early, tidy up, and then take an extra-long shower first thing. And when he got back from the clinic he would run a long hot bath. One of the reasons he bought this place was the spa bath, he would pour in that posh bubble bath supposably from Johnny.

Flushing the toilet then washing his hands he took three steps across the hall and pushed open his bedroom door. His jaw dropped; the room looked like a tornado had hit it. The mattress was off to one side, the bedding stripped. The entire contents of his dresser were on the floor along with every article of clothing in his wardrobe. It looked like every possession he owned had been tossed around the room. He pulled out his mobile to call the police only to find it ripped from his hands and a hood was pulled over his head. Blind he lashed out with his arms. What felt like several pairs of hands pulled his arms behind his back and he heard the click of handcuffs. He grunted, coughed and kicked out his legs and twisted his body with all his might. Suddenly he was falling forwards and found himself pressed into the mattress. This was swiftly followed by a knee forced into the small of his back. The force made him cry out with pain. Something cold pressed into the back of his neck and he stilled.

"Tell me where he is?" a gruff voice demanded grinding the barrel of the gun into the back of his neck.

"Who?" Ianto shouted out bewildered, his fatigue soaked muscles shaking from effort.

"Bevan, what have you done with him?" the voice shouted into his ear.

Ianto searched his mind desperate for anyone he knew by that name. As the gun barrel twisted only one name came into his mind

"B-Bevan-Bevan T-Thomas. Primary school, haven't seen him for years," he stuttered.

"Don't fucking play games Ianto Jones. Bevan is three years old. Tell me where you have taken him!"

"I don't know any children called Bevan the only children I know…" he stammered out as he felt the barrel of the gun dig into his neck more forcefully sending a sharp pain down his spine.

"You were seen with him less than twelve hours ago in Cardiff. Now where did you take him?" Another voice interrupted that sounded horribly familiar.

"If you've hurt him you bastard I'm going to kill you," Ianto felt himself lifted off the bed backwards and thrown. His back hit the wall with a thud and all the wind was knocked out of him.

"Nephew-David," he gasped out as he was pulled upright. A moment passed and a knee was pressed into his genitals.

"I don't believe you," the voice spat at him grinding the barrel of the gun which was now pushed into his chin forcing his head up exposing his throat.

"Phone-photo's," he panted out. He heard fumbling as his attackers searched for the mobile they had ripped from his hands. "I-I- don't know any child named B-Bevan, "Ianto cried out his heart wildly thudding in his chest as he tried to convince them.

"You were seen with him," the voice snarled.

"David, nephew," Ianto repeated. "MacDonald's, breakfast. 'Toy R Us' birthday," he shouted back. As the words left his mouth his head was pushed so far back he coughed.

"What's with the packing up? Looks like you're getting ready to leave?"

"It's my flat mate, Leon, he's moving out his number is in my phone." His voice trembled as the words tumbled over his lips. "You have to believe me I don't know any child called Bevan. I was visiting my sister. I went because she's just had a baby four days ago. She can tell you; her husband Johnny can vouch for me. Please I have never…" he heard footsteps and suddenly the hood was gone.

Blinking his vision cleared and the terror was instantly replaced with rage.

"What the fuck?" he screamed at both his attackers spraying them with spittle.

"You had better be sure," Rhys moved forward menacingly towards Ianto. "If you hurt him I swear…" Rhys drew up his fist.

"It's not Bevan." Jack threw the phone at Rhys. "Check for yourself." Rhys caught the phone and began to scroll through.

"He worked for Torchwood Jack he could have doctored the images."

"What the fuck is going on?" Ianto demanded.

"Twenty four hours ago my son went missing," Rhys said not looking up from the phone.

"Why… how…how… could you think…I would…you're both mad, "Ianto spluttered and looked at Jack. "How could you think I would do anything so evil?" Ianto twisted his body and indicated the handcuffs.

Jack undid the handcuffs and Ianto punched him to the ground.

"You BASTARD!" Ianto shouted over Jack on the floor. Ianto turned to Rhys as he pointed at Jack. "I have no idea what he told you. But I am not the kind of person who abducts children. I didn't even know you had kids, Rhys."

Jack stood massaging his jaw. "All the evidence pointed to you."

"All I did was go to Cardiff to spend some time with my sister, see the new baby and give David a birthday treat considering how rough things are since my brother-in-law has been out of work."

"You were a possibility," Rhys said unrepentantly.

"Why would I take your son Rhys? I never even knew you had c-children," Ianto pointed out bewildered looking between them.

"He's not my son," Rhys told him. "He's my adopted son."

"Adopted, I don't care Rhys. I don't know what the hell he told you but Jack and I haven't spoken since I walked out nearly three and half years ago when I found out who he was fucking behind my back." He saw Jack flinch and throw a worried look at Rhys. "For you to come here and accuse me …. For you to go through every possible scenario and come up with me is sick. Rhys I would have no possible reason in heaven and earth to harm a hair on your son's head."

"It's not unreasonable," Jack replied strongly.

"Yes it fucking well is Jack. Crazy the pair of you," Ianto said as the events of the last ten minutes began to catch up with him and he put out an arm to steady himself.

"He's my son," Jack said quietly.

Ianto looked at Jack his face distorted in disgust and turned to Rhys. "So they came clean about their dirty little secret and you the big man is bringing up his son. Or did Gwen disappear for nine months and come back with a kid and suggested it fell out the Rift?"

"What's he talking about Jack?" Rhys looked at Jack who went grey.

"Let's go," Jack commanded and moved to leave.

Ianto grabbed Jack by his coat lapels. "You don't get to leave. You break in, you hold a gun to my head and accuse me of the most heinous act I can think of. "

"What's he talking about?" Rhys demanded looking between Ianto and Jack.

"Nothing. Bevan's not here, we keep looking," Jack said struggling against Ianto.

"How could you believe this of me?" Ianto kept a tight grip on Jack. He looked into his face.

"Just over twenty-four hours ago my son went missing. Right now I would kill god himself if it would lead me to him and bring him home." Ianto pushed Jack away who then straightened his coat. "This is a dead end, he's not here. We need to go." Jack took a step forward to find himself confronted with Rhys who blocked the door with his body.

"No Jack. Enough secrets. I have had to accept all kinds of shit from you. I came up here because you said Ianto had found out and taken him."

"NO," Jack shouted at Rhys.

"You need to tell him, Jack."

"You don't know what you're asking," Jack shouted back pushing against Rhys.

"He should know Jack," Rhys told him sternly not moving an inch.

"I don't know what he told you Rhys," Ianto interpreted. "It will be nothing but lies, damn lies, secrets and more lies because that's all Jack's got. A whole life filled with deception which leads to destroying the people around him who are foolish or stupid enough to care for him." Ianto pointed to the door. "Now get out."

"Rhys we need to go," Jack demanded facing Rhys down.

"No Jack. It's clear he doesn't know. I don't care what happened between you and him in the past, but its Bevan's who counts here and Ianto has a right to know."

"Don't you think I know that but I can't," Jack screamed at him.

Ianto turned to Rhys. "I had nothing to do with what's happened. I swear as hurt as I was by Jack's actions I would never hurt a child even his." He caught his breath, his voice shaking as he wiped the tear that had tracked down his face off with his hand.

"I can see that Ianto, I can't tell you how sorry I am, but he told me…" Rhys began to say.

"I don't want to hear," Ianto pointed to the door.

"He doesn't want to know. Move!" Jack demanded and tried to push his way past.

"If what you told me was the truth then he has a right to know," Rhys stood his ground as Jack tried to seemingly dig his way past him.

"You don't know what you're asking," Jack cried out desperately.

"Tell him or I will," Rhys warned staring Jack down. Jack stared back with wild terrified eyes.

"This is what Jack does," Ianto looked at Rhys. "He takes your life then wrings out every last drop of emotion you have until you are nothing but a hollow shell then throws you away."

"Fucking tell him!" Rhys bellowed.

"Rhys I already know about him and Gwen. I fucking left them to it. So if you're trying to tell me Bevan is Gwen and Jack's I don't care." Ianto said feeling his knees giving out and he felt himself begin slide down the wall.

Rhys eyes flew open as he stared at Jack who took a step backwards. "You fucked my Gwen?"

"Rhys," Jack started to speak but Rhys punched him in the stomach and he doubled over.

"Welcome to the Fucked Over by Jack Club," Ianto said bitterly as he hitched himself up.

"You bastard," Rhys lashed out with both fists. Jack moved to protect himself but found himself knocked to the ground a second time.

Rhys took a breath and dragged Jack to standing. "Ianto there is the reason we came here and thought it was you. Jack told me Bevan is your son."

Ianto stared at him and felt the room sway, then swirl.

"Jack told me Bevan is your son," he repeated. "That you had found out and taken him. When we saw the CCTV footage it we thought it confirmed it."

"I know love is blind. So blind in fact I had to walk in on the pair of you fucking before I realised what was going on, but from recollection you don't have a vagina," Ianto said with deliberate slowness as he struggled to get the words out.

"It's complicated; 51st century body. I never expected… it was a shock I didn't realise until after you were gone. After I found out I tried a thousand times to contact you. I didn't know what to do. You were gone and refused to speak to me," Jack said desperate to explain

"Jack even if I believed you, how many other people did you fuck behind my back besides her? He could be anyone's."

"His D.N.A matches yours," he said flatly

Ianto locked his loathing on Jack. "What does Rhys have to do with all this?"

"Gwen and Rhys are his adoptive parents," Jack admitted not able to lift his eyes from the floor.

Ianto stumbled backwards as if hit from some unseen blow and put his arm out to brace himself against the wall.

"I'm sorry Ianto," Jack watched as Ianto's eyes reflected the pain of the betrayal.

"No you're not," Ianto said using the wall to hold himself up. "And what's worse, if this hadn't happened you would never have told me." He saw the truth in Jack's face and he gulped down the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him. "Months, weeks maybe that's all I …" he stopped himself. "I would have spent the time I have remaining never knowing. It wasn't enough that you hurt me with her, you kept this from me."

Jack looked at him shaking his head visibly tearful, "I wanted to tell you but you wouldn't speak to me. I tried, I asked you over and over again to meet. Emails, letters, you know how hard I tried. Months, Ianto; you returned every letter unopened. You made it impossible for me to contact you. I even sent Martha up. What the hell was I supposed to do?" he shouted back.

"How dare you make this my fault. When I needed you, when I needed someone more than at any other point in my entire life I walked in on you fucking the one person you had promised… assured me you wouldn't touch. Knowing my insecurities, knowing infidelity was the one thing I couldn't handle you fucked her not just once but over and over for god knows how long. You laid your hands on her, then on me. Do you know how humiliated you made me feel, how worthless? How little I mattered to you? How used and manipulated?" Ianto's words hit Jack and he appeared to shrink.

"Ianto, Bevan has gone missing; there is no trace of him. We thought, thought when we saw you on the CCTV footage …" Jack attempted to explain.

"You thought that as I am as morally bankrupt as you are. I had found out and kidnapped him out of spite. Did you know?" Ianto demanded of Rhys.

"When Jack told me I didn't believe him. I demanded proof. I spoke to Martha Jones and she confirmed that men from Jack's time can have children. She arranged for Jack's care and organised the delivery. Look Ianto, I'm reeling." Rhys said honestly, "Twenty-four hours ago I had a family. Gwen, my daughter Anwen and Bevan, Jack said the child was his but the mother had died during a mission as part of some Torchwood operation. He had all the proof in the universe. Jack tried to cope but it was impossible especially after what happened with the 456 and Steven. We started looking after Bevan to help out then he made us guardians and took off…left Earth. When he returned eight weeks ago he made it permanent. Bevan is only three years old. He could be hurt or taken by god knows who or what. He's been ripped from everyone he knows and loves. I'm sorry Jack lied to you. I'm sorry for my part in all this. Gwen and Jack well, that will have to get sorted later … all I care about right now is finding Bevan and getting him home."

"Gwen knew didn't she," Ianto said glaring at Jack who closed his eyes in admission.

"Gwen knew?" Rhys turned and demanded of Jack. He turned back to Ianto who was standing rigid, tears flowing down his face. "God I'm sorry."

Ianto pushed past him and went into the lounge. Without warning he found himself bent over his hands on his knees looking at the floor struggling to stay upright. He staggered over to the sofa and sat down heavily trying to force air into his lungs. His head felt several sizes too large and he heard a terrible rushing in his ears. The room swirled and he closed his eyes. Everything went black for a second and he felt a hand on his shoulder. He stood up throwing it off violently.

Standing was too much and he fell to his knees. He took in several large breaths and then with one heave he pushed back the sofa. The sofa legs caught in the rug. It rolled up as he pushed the sofa out the way and exposed a floor safe. Ianto punched in a code. Opening he pulled out a pistol along with several clips of ammunition. Kneeling he snapped in a clip and flicked on the safety and placed the gun in his back jeans' pocket. Standing he now moved into to the kitchen where he grabbed his back pack along with his keys.

"Ianto," Jack said quietly.

Ianto spun around, drew the gun out and pointed it at Jack's forehead, his hands shaking uncontrollably.

Jack took a step backwards and raised his hands.

"One more word out of you and I will blow your fucking brains out."

Rhys stepped back. "If you're going to look for Bevan wouldn't it be better to pool our resources," Rhys begged. "Three heads better than one or two."

"Tell me Rhys, does he call you Taddy or Daddy? Rhys looked stricken. "Now this farce is over." Ianto indicated with his gun. They left and with their hands held up they backed out.

"Keep moving," Ianto told them as he snapped the door shut.

His back against the wall his heart felt like it was spinning in his chest and he felt himself breathing faster and faster. He wanted to scream but he couldn't force any sound out. He had to get back to Cardiff. He had to find him. He stopped as he was struck with a terrible thought; he didn't even know what he looked like.

* * *

"How could you Jack?" Rhys said in disgust as the lights of Ianto's car turned the corner.

"I'm not expecting forgiveness or even understanding."

"Good because you won't be getting either," Rhys stormed off in the direction of the car they came in.


	3. Chapter Two

**Two**

* * *

Rhys drove as Jack sat in silence, following the small dot on his PDA that represented Ianto's car. As a precaution he had placed a tiny tracker on Ianto's mobile and backpack in case he escaped their control and led them to Bevan.

Being late the roads were mostly empty. He kept his eyes down in concentration because he didn't want to look at the man beside him.

"Over how long and how many times?" Rhys asked breaking the silence of the past hour.

"How number of times would make it alright?" Jack asked him as Rhys threw a glare at him.

"Did you keep Bevan from Ianto out of spite?"

"No. And before you point it out I don't expect you to believe me."

Rhys bit his lip and shook his head in disbelief. "You're right I don't believe you. There is only one reason one parent does this to another and that is to cause them the maximum amount of pain. It's done deliberately to destroy any relationship that parent might build with that child."

"That's not what happened."

"Isn't it Jack? I can't imagine what Ianto ever did to deserve this. The few times I saw you together he appeared devoted to you. "

"He was. This was my fuck up beginning to end."

"Have you any idea how sick I feel inside? You used me, to do this to another human being. You never even gave him a chance. You kept it secret and made up a whole lot of lies..."

"There is nothing I can say to justify my actions," Jack interrupted.

Rhys became silent again as they hit a knot of traffic as they approached an intersection.

"I would never have taken him on if I had known Ianto was his dad," Rhys burst out as soon as they hit the next clear stretch of road. "How could you do this to him...his family...my family...me?"

Jack remained silent.

"What a mess! In less than twenty-four hours I've lost everything I thought I had with Gwen. A little boy who means the world to me. And today I had to stand by and watch a man have his soul ripped out. Got nothing to say? Well, I deserve some answers."

"Don't throw away what you have with Gwen," Jack replied after some time has passed.

"There's nothing to throw away because there was nothing there. I've got proof she cheated on me, with you. With you! All those times she was working late, helping out after Tosh and Owen died. All a load of bollocks. When did it start? Or have you always had your leg over?" Rhys took a deep breath at Jack's continuing silence. "Bet you both had a good laugh at Rhys the idiot; the bloody gullible stupid idiot." He slapped himself on the side of his head. "The comic relief that's what I am. And now we have a kid, Anwen. " He hit the steering with open palms. "Is she mine?"

"You know she is."

"Not so bloody sure. My bloody world's been torn apart all because of your selfish actions."

"I didn't do it on my own," Jack pointed out, a note of indignation in his voice.

"Oh don't you worry, I've got a more than a few things to sort out with her." Rhys glared at the road. "You knew she was married. You knew me and Ianto, poor bastard, and yet you still had to have Gwen. Couldn't keep your hands to yourselves and now I have to deal with the bloody carnage."

"Rhys, nothing I can say or do will make what happened right. There are no winners here."

"No but there are losers. Ianto, his family, me, my family, grandparents… what the hell am I going to say to them? They worship that little boy. Ianto hasn't even got a photograph. Playing with our lives, that's what you've done. Now I supposed you're going to take off because it's all got too hard like last time. Wish I could've up and ran away. I lost people too you know after your brother finished. Drivers, men with families, and I had to work double, triple shifts trying to keep Harwoods afloat and what are you doing? Fucking my wife. Then she came home and we, after you and she…" he let out a sound of disgust.

"How many lives have you ruined in that long life of yours? Because from where I'm sitting everyone around you ends up being hurt. And Bevan, what the hell has happened to him? I mean one minute he's there, playing in the garden and then he's gone. I'm going out of my mind with worry. He could have been injured or taken by someone and being hurt right this minute. And Ianto thinking it was him. I could have killed him I was that angry. You knew that and used me. Used me as muscle in some sick game none of us know the rules except you." It started to rain and Rhys flicked on the windscreen wipers.

"That look on his face when we told him, how could you Jack? Then finding out that Gwen was basically Bevan's mother…the woman who fucked his supposed lover bringing up his kid." Rhys took a breath and several moments passed before he spoke again. "What other secrets are you holding onto? Is Bevan's disappearance due to you? Something from your past…" He was about to say more when they saw the car ahead swerve in the other lane, narrowly missing an oncoming vehicle. The other driver hit his horn and flashed his lights. Ianto's car overcompensated, swerved back almost hitting the extreme left hand side and fish tailed.

"Jesus Christ!" Rhys burst out as they watched the car ahead slow down and pull over.

* * *

A large truck fired up next to Ianto's car and it filled with diesel fumes. Ianto coughed and felt he was choking on the foul air. He struggled to open his eyes... The light was causing his head to pound. He groaned; even his aches and pains had aches and pains.

He sat up and pushed open the door. His legs felt like logs of wood; not able to stretch out his long legs he could feel his knees creak in protest as he stood. He hadn't wanted to stop but the near miss meant he had come close to killing someone. It was only when he jerked awake and pulled the steering wheel over to the left he recalled taking pain medication. Dazed and exhausted he had driven till he had reached a truck stop. Driving to the back of the large car park, he then crawled into the back seat and closed his eyes. He looked at his watch; five thirty, dawn.

He put his hand on the back of his neck to ease the stiffness. The inside of his mouth tasted and felt like cardboard. The truck moved and the diesel fumes cleared to be replaced with sickly cooking smells. Opening the driver's side he got in. He reached over in an attempt to pull out his back pack across from the foot space on the passenger's side. He startled when the door opened and Rhys got in.

Rhys held out a cardboard cup holder with two full cups. "I had no idea what you liked." He pointed to one. "Flat white no sugar." He turned the carton. "This one's black no sugar." He pulled out several small packets. "Sugar."

Ignoring Rhys Ianto reached over and pulled on the backpack which Rhys now had his feet on.

"Sorry mate," Rhys lifted his feet and Ianto pulled the bag onto his lap. Opening the bag he took out an almost half-drunk bottle of green sports drink. Unzipping the front of the pack he took out a foil of tablets. Pressing out one he threw it into the back of his throat and took several swallows from the bottle.

"I am not your mate," Ianto croaked as he wiped his hand across his mouth.

"You shouldn't be on your own. It's not right you being on your own."

"And where is…" Ianto left the sentence unfinished and looked towards the restaurant.

"Jack dropped me off and has gone ahead," Rhys added after a few moments. "I wanted to give you this." Rhys placed the cup holder on the dashboard and pulled out his wallet. Taking out a small photograph he handed it to Ianto.

Ianto eyes filled with so many tears he couldn't see it properly. He pulled out a handkerchief and dried his eyes and looked at this son for the first time. As small as the photo was he pored his eyes over taking in every detail. The tumult of feelings that tore through him made him feel like he was drowning. With extreme reluctance he handed it back.

"You can keep that," Rhys said gently and watched as Ianto reverently used his thumb to stroke the image as he visibly struggled to swallow.

"Why are you here?" Ianto said taking another sip from the bottle still holding the picture.

"Ianto, you looked terrible. I feel terrible. It's been a bloody hard two days. Been like the worst roller coaster ride from hell. Bevan missing…Jack, Gwen…you're not the only one who's lost something here."

Ianto snorted and looked at him disgust. "I'm in no mood to get into some kind of pissing contest about who's been hurt or lost the most because I can guarantee no matter what you think you've lost I can beat it a hundred times over." Ianto started up the car and indicated with his hand that Rhys get out his car.

"I'm sorry that came out wrong." Rhys began talking quickly, "You're hurt Ianto, I can see how hurt you are. You've had a major blow and you're sick with fear. First you find out you have a child and Jack lied to you. More hurt on top of hurt, a child you never knew you had has gone missing. He could be lying in a ditch somewhere injured, dying even, or someone has taken him. Your mind is filled with images, each one worse than the next. You know every second counts. There is this burning panic in your chest making it hard to breath, you feel like you want to rip apart the word to find him."

"I don't need your pity and I don't you help," Ianto hissed through his teeth.

"Well you're getting it… help that is," Rhys corrected himself. "I saw what happened last night. You almost went off the road. I figure you're going to the last place Bevan was seen so you can start searching. I am also certain you have no idea where that is and I can take you there." Ianto stared at him. "Now choose a bloody coffee and let me drive for a bit. Give you time to get your head together. You're no help to Bevan if you never get there."

Ianto sat staring out across the lorry yard and pulled on the hand brake. Seeing Ianto was getting out Rhys followed suit. Ianto climbed into the passenger seat and Rhys handed him the coffees.

* * *

Gwen watched Jack's car pull into the drive. She was desperate to see him. Neither he nor Rhys had replied to any of her messages. The last thing she had heard was it wasn't Ianto. It was first light and several police teams with dogs and trackers were gearing up to continue searching the surrounding area.

Running out she saw Jack was on his own. She almost pulled him out the car. "Rhys, where's Rhys? I need him. I can't reach him on his mobile. Why did you turn your phone off? I've been desperate Jack, desperate…"

Jack was about to reply when he saw the coordinator of the investigation marching towards him.

"Is there something myself or my officers should be aware of?"

Jack shook his head.

"Captain Harkness, my officers tell me you and Mr Williams took off late yesterday evening last seen heading towards Manchester. If you have a lead you need to keep us informed. I cannot express upon how important that you allow us to do our jobs. So I repeat: is there something myself or my officers should be aware of?"

"I went to check something but it was a dead end," Jack replied as he closed his car door.

"Would that dead end happen to be a Mr Ianto Jones currently residing at Flat Six, 42 Carnarvon Road, Manchester?" the detective pointed out. Jack, along with Gwen, nodded too surprised to deny it. "We considered him as a known associate. For your information we eliminated him from our enquires yesterday," he said with a snap and pulled out a small note book.

'"How can you be so sure?" Gwen pointed out.

"He left Manchester Hospital at two thirty pm on Friday afternoon. He drove to Cardiff using the most direct route. He went to his sister's address where he stayed all Saturday. She had a baby four days before. He left Sunday to go shopping with his nephew and returned at one thirty. The remainder of the afternoon was spent kicking the soccer ball he had bought around his sister's back garden. He remained at that address until leaving Cardiff at eight pm on Sunday night."

"You said Manchester Hospital?" Jack asked and the detective consulted his notebook.

"Yes." The man nodded then turned to Gwen. "It's not a criminal offence to visit family, take his nephew out for a burger and buy him a football." He turned back to Jack. "So my question to you is, after having eliminating him why did you, accompanied by Mr Williams, go to see him? You have to admit it's highly suspicious."

"I assure you Ianto Jones had nothing to do with what's happened. In fact he has every reason not to hurt the boy in any capacity."

"How can you be so sure if you went running off?" The detective was unconvinced.

"I just am."

"Captain Harkness, this is not the time for the kind of game Torchwood used to play with information. I am trying to find your son. I can't do that with one hand tied behind my back. If this man has any information…"

"Don't you think I know that?" Jack interrupted. "If Ianto had anything to do with this, trust me I would have dealt with it." The man threw a look at Jack that left him in no doubt how distasteful he found Jack's comment.

"I'm not sure I want to understand what you are implying, but in light of the shite you and your team used to pull trust is a huge issue here. You trusting us and the police trusting you. I cannot emphasise you allow us to do our job."

"This is not a Torchwood matter, this is about a missing three-year-old and I resent you implying I would keep anything from you," Jack said in exasperation.

"Maybe we need to speak to Mr Jones if he knows something we don't," the detective pointed out.

Jack let out a huge breath. "As you said he is a known associate. I thought he might have heard something, anything. It was clear, very clear he had nothing to do with this. In fact he had no idea I had a son. Or that Rhys and Gwen Williams had adopted him."

"Where is Mr Williams?" The detective looked around realising Jack was alone.

"He'll be here in the next couple of hours. He's travelling down with Mr Jones," Jack added.

"Is he? I'll speak to Mr Jones when he gets here." His radio went off and he turned to attend to it.

"Ianto is coming here?" Gwen demanded swinging around to face Jack.

"Yes. Rhys is on his way back and he's bringing Ianto." Jack began to make his way to the back of the semi-detached house. "Rhys knows."

"Yes, I know Jack. I was here when you told him about Ianto being Bevan's dad," she said under her breath as she followed him through to the back garden.

"About us?" Jack hissed. He walked to the small patch of grass which was the last place Bevan had been seen.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"How?" Gwen said her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Ianto told him."

"Oh God Jack, is that why Rhys is not with you?"

"Partly. Look, Ianto took the news badly. He kicked us out and started to drive back. We were following his car, he almost got himself and another motorist killed because he was driving all over the road." He looked at Gwen. "He shouldn't be on his own. We followed him to this lorry rest area come all night restaurant. Rhys asked me to leave him there so he could make sure Ianto was alright and bring him here…." Gwen interrupted her eyes flaring in anger.

"Here I am on my own, going out my mind with worry and you and Rhys decide to play baby sitter to bloody Ianto. He's grown man Jack he can look after himself. I need you and Rhys here." She pointed to the ground.

Jack took her by the upper arms and pushed his face into hers.

"You didn't see Ianto's face. He looked like I reached in and pulled out his heart and tore it apart in front of his eyes."

"And he told Rhys," she snapped. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"We were both to blame Gwen, you and me. You'll have to face the consequences like I've had to." Jack stalked off.

"Jack Harkness, don't you walk away from me!" she shouted at his back. "We have to face this together because I'll tell you one thing. You're not leaving me to face this on my own; there were two of us, you and me." She punched herself in the chest with her finger. "He's my son. I held him in my arms two days old. Looked after him since he was seven months old…I love him like he was my own."

Jack turned his face twisted in fury. "I've paid the price for 'us'. Every decision I have made since the moment we touched each other has been nothing short of disastrous. Well it's your turn now. Bevan is Ianto's son. That's a fact you will have to come to terms with because he is coming here as he has every right to do so. If you want a stand up, fight and throw a tantrum in front of him about how much you love Bevan, in some kind of one-upmanship remember Ianto has nothing. I denied him that." He pushed his face into hers. "You need to get your priorities straight. All that matters is finding Bevan. Do you hear me? I can't lose him Gwen. Not him, he is all I have left, do you understand?" His mouth twisted and he shook her. "Have I made myself clear?" He pushed her away and she stumbled backwards then ran towards the house her hand over her mouth.

* * *

Keeping back, Jack watched as Rhys and Ianto arrived. Rhys took a moment to introduce him to the team and the on-the-ground co-ordinator. An in-depth discussion then appeared to ensue as Ianto asked what looked like a series of questions and he was led into the small caravan that was operating as an HQ where several maps were pulled out. With sweeps of his hand the detective indicated areas they had searched. Ianto left and was gently led by Rhys up to the house.

Following on behind Ianto entered the house and into the back garden. Ianto stood looking around, his eyes falling on a small blue and yellow trike with bright red wheels. He picked it up then placed it back carefully down so it was standing upright. The house was so ordinary, just a semidetached in some leafy suburb. It was all very middle-class, complete with pergola, BBQ, cheap plastic outdoor furniture, garden shed and neglected vegetable patch.

Ianto tried to imagine the small boy in the photograph playing here, racing around on his bike, building sandcastles in the sand pit. He walked across to see a discarded bucket and spade alongside a small plastic dinosaur partly buried. Bending down he picked it up and rubbed the sand off.

* * *

Jack came through the doors and noticed Gwen in the kitchen doing some pointless task.

"How was the trip?" Jack asked hesitatingly.

"How the hell do you think?" Rhys snapped at him. Silence followed as all three watched Ianto from the double doors.

"I don't think Ianto's very well. He hasn't eaten. I don't think he touched the coffee I got." Rhys added several moments later.

Jack shrugged, "Can't keep much down myself. Talked to Gwen yet?"

"Don't want speak to her. Where's Anwen?"

"At Mary's," Jack said.

"That's Mrs Cooper to you," Rhys said then walked out into the garden to join Ianto.

"And he was right here," Ianto asked looking around as Rhs joined him.

"He was playing out here after lunch. Gwen was washing up. She turned to clear the table and when she turned back he was gone." Rhys looked back at the house that had been his home.

"I don't understand. How could he just vanish? It doesn't make any sense." Ianto moved to walk around the fence line not caring what he stood on. There were no holes, nothing he could climb up on. Ianto came to the small aluminium shed, opened the door and peered in. Lawn mower, rake, shovel, spade, hose, discarded plant pots, as one would expect.

"It was locked. We've looked; we've searched a hundred times," Jack said keeping his distance. "No holes in the fence, nothing for him to climb through or over."

"He was taken then. Other than me any one else from you past you think might have done this?" Ianto said bitterly.

"Anyone I know is either not born yet or dead."

"What about John Hart?"

"Too busy scamming the universe to take a kid."

"Rift activity? Negative rift spike...positive one? Weevils? Aliens? Think. What about that Tarot girl? What she got to say for herself?"

Jack raised his eyebrows. "No Rift, the explosion that took out the Hub took out the Rift. We think it inverted downwards, there's no way to detect if it's active or not. Since that point there been no alien incursions," Jack replied.

"What about that Doctor friend of yours?" Jack shook his head. "Bloody lot of good he is," Ianto huffed in dismay and looked at his watch. "Someone with a grudge then, ex -lover maybe." Jack winced.

A Police officer entered the garden seeing Ianto made his approach.

"Search party Delta is about to head out in about ten minutes. Commander Dean has advised me to tell you he's managed to rustle up some gear for you." Ianto nodded and followed.

Ianto entered the lounge kitchen.

Rhys went across to Ianto and gently touched his elbow. "Can I get you something? Let me make you a hot drink, slice of toast?"

"No I'm going to join one of the search parties," Ianto went to move across to the front door but seemed hesitant. He swallowed nervously and looked at Rhys. "When I get back would it be okay if I could see his bedroom?"

"Of course." Rhys replied immediately noticing Ianto was holding a small plastic dinosaur. "I can take you up there now if you like."

Ianto shook his head. "I need to do something, look for him so I'm going out very shortly with one of the search teams."

"You look terrible at least let me get you something to drink," Rhys offered again.

Ianto shook his head. "I can't eat and I have a drink with me" Ianto replied as he saw one of the policemen indicating he join them, and without another word he left the room.

Rhys crossed his arms as he watched Gwen. She was standing refolding a basket of clothes for the thousandth time. "Oh for Christ sake Gwen leave it alone," he roared at her.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? It's this or stand outside this house and scream," she retorted.

Rhys got up and headed in the same direction of Ianto.

"Where are you going?" Gwen said with alarm.

"I'm following Ianto's lead. I'm joining one of the search teams."

"Don't leave me here on my own, Rhys. I need you, please. I can't stand it, the house is so empty. The waiting, it's driving me crazy."

"You've got 'Captain Bollocks', the pair of you can stay here," he said disdainfully nodding towards Jack who now entered the room.

"I'll go you stay in case you're needed," Jack suggested.

"So you can go race about and play the big hero? The big man on campus trying to prove to everyone how much you care?" Rhys snarled.

Jack turned to see the desperate look on Gwen's face as she stood looking at Rhys. "Stay with Gwen, you both need to talk."

Rhys lifted his finger at Jack. "The time you get to speak to me and offer suggestions in relation to my family is over."

"Please Rhys I need you here," Gwen begged.

"You don't need me Gwen." Rhys took her by the shoulders, twisting her to face Jack. "This is the man you apparently need." He pushed her in Jack's direction and stormed out.

Gwen broke down into sobs as Jack took her into his arms. "Oh God, Jack, what am I going to do? I can't lose Rhys. I love him."

Jack, unable to say anything just stroked her back. Waiting for the sobs to ease, he then pushed her away and headed to find his laptop.


	4. Chapter Three

**Three**

* * *

Ianto looked across the scrubland they had just finished searching. From the deep trenches it appeared to be some kind of housing development that had gone bust. Now nature had taken it back with a vengeance. The tall grass of late summer was a tangled mess of newspapers, discarded fast food containers, and empty cans. It was evident it was a haunt of the local children if the ramps were anything to go by, and other less desirable people. Ianto kicked over a syringe.

If Bevan had wandered off, why would he come here? It was not like this sizeable piece of land was opposite or even close to where he lived. Why not go to the places he knew? Ianto felt his heart ache; he knew so little about his son. Did he go to nursery school? Who were his friends? What was his favourite cartoon, books, food, did he love MacDonald's like David? Barney or The Wiggles? Well, hopefully not Barney. Ianto rubbed his fingers over the small plastic toy. Did he like playing dinosaurs and being chased like David did?

None of this made any sense. Bevan had been in the garden playing. Ianto had stood on that spot. The garden was fenced. Even if Bevan had managed to climb over the fence into an adjacent garden, he would have been met with another fence. From what Ianto had seen there was a series of fenced gardens either side.

Something caught his eyes and saw it was Rhys waving to get his attention. Ianto moved the rubbish around with his foot and lifted his head for a last look around and headed towards him.

"Did Bevan know about this place? It seems a long way out for a three year old to come," Ianto asked as soon as he reached Rhys.

Rhys shook his head. "No, but what if someone brought him here? Or maybe he did wander here."

"It doesn't make sense," Ianto said under his breath. If Bevan had been taken Gwen would have noticed and then acted. She was ex-Torchwood; the police report said Bevan was gone in a moment.

_'What would David_ _have done?'_ Ianto thought and he pictured Rhia's back garden. It was certainly a world away from the garden Bevan played in; an estate garden with trampled grass and a makeshift goal and a fence somewhat but with neighbours on either side.

"Rhys you have gardens either side, both fenced?" Rhys nodded. "Both fences are as secure as yours. So the only way he could have gone anywhere would have been past Gwen," Ianto said thinking out loud.

"Are you asking a question?"

"It doesn't make sense…"

"We all got that," Rhys said as they moved forward towards the police van.

"Listen, he was in the garden. The only way out was past Gwen. If he had gotten over the fence into the next doors garden there was another fence. It would have taken him time to get through or over it. Then there is another, and another. In ten minutes Gwen would have found him," Ianto said, exasperation lacing his voice.

"I know," Rhys said.

"Say, for argument's sake, he got past Gwen. He would have been in the street. Your street has CCTV; he would have been seen, but there was nothing."

Rhys let out a sigh. "I know. I've been over this in my mind, over and over. First thing the police did was search the house: every cupboard, under beds, the works. One of the constables joked that they had had a lot of kids going missing but within half an hour or an hour they just turned back up."

Ianto looked sharply at Rhys. "Recently?"

Rhys shook his head. "I didn't hear his reply. All I could think of was tearing the place apart."

Ianto rubbed his forehead as his head pounded.

"Then when we finished with the house I searched the garden and every garden in the row and the ones behind."

"Nothing," Ianto reflected.

Rhys shook his head. "The CCTV showed..."

"Nothing," Ianto pursed his lips as he completed the sentence.

"He vanished into thin air. The only way out was past a tall, locked wooden door. I checked, Gwen checked, Jack checked, the police checked. It was locked. So the only way out was past Gwen, through the lounge, down the hall, and out the front door. Which before you ask was deadlocked."

Ianto pulled out the sports drink from his pocket and rolled it in his hands.

"Do you want to my theory?" Ianto shook his head and the motion caused him to stagger and Rhys steadied him. He was about to say something when his mobile sounded.

Letting go of Ianto's elbow Rhys flipped his mobile open.

"Yeah, we're on our way back now," Rhys stated then together they made their way back to the police van.

* * *

Jack looked up from his laptop. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He had been wanting, hoping, praying he could set up a scan to pick up an energy signature, or an energy anomaly. Bevan's disappearance suggested he was taken; who, why, or how racing through his mind in every increasing circles. This whole morning he had been fighting to find some way, any way to get into the Torchwood servers, but after hours of effort it was clear they were not working. They had degraded and were offline. Not for the first time Jack wished Tosh was here. She would have found a way to access the servers but time, the explosion and neglect meant it was impossible. It was pointless. He felt useless and he slammed his laptop shut. If only he could use his vortex manipulator but it had been damaged in the blast that had destroyed the Hub. Some functions remained but not any that would be of use here.

Standing he turned to see Rhys, followed by Ianto, enter the lounge. Silently Ianto moved past them and went into the garden and stood on the spot where Bevan had been last seen. They watched as he bent down and touched the grass, stood and stared into the distance. Jack turned and stormed down the hall, slamming the front door.

Rhys, his arms crossed, watched as Gwen approached him holding out his favourite mug.

Ignoring Gwen Rhys turned to the young police woman assigned to remain with Gwen. "Sorry about this love. I need to speak to my wife alone."

"It's hot. I put lots of sugar in just how you like," Gwen said holding out the mug. Rhys continued to glare at her as the young woman left.

"The police have told me they want us to do a public appeal. They've asked for both of us to be there so we can ask the public directly for help," Rhys told her.

"When?" Gwen pulled the mug back towards herself.

"Three o'clock so it can reach the local 6pm news. " Rhys turned to leave.

"Rhys, please stay. I love you. I need you, we need each other. Don't make me face this on my own," she begged.

Rhys glared. "Right now this is as good as it gets. I can tolerate being in the same room with you. I'm too raw to discuss this, I'm so angry I could tear the whole world apart." He stared into the garden and saw Ianto was leaning his forehead up against the fence to steady himself. "What you did to me was bad enough but what you did to Ianto is beyond words. It makes me sick to my stomach. Not only do I have to deal with a child I love and adore being gone, I have to look after Ianto. Have you seen him? Have you actually looked at him, at the state he is in? No, and you know why? Because you are fucking selfish. All you care about is yourself."

Gwen shifted on her feet and gripped the mug with both hands.

"You knowingly stole his son from him. You made me part of that lie and you slept with Jack. And all you can think about is yourself! You selfish fucking bitch!" He ripped the mug from her hands and slammed it towards the sink. It bounced and showered tea over the bench and clattered to the floor.

"Please Rhys," Gwen begged.

"What else don't I know about? What other lies have you told me? Who else have you slept with? Is Anwen mine?"

"Of course she is," she spluttered back.

Rhys' lips started to curl and he felt his hands form into fists. He took a step forward, shaking his head. Gwen, seeing the look of rage on Rhys' face, backed into the table. He took one more step forward his lips struggling to form words. He stopped for a moment then spun on his heel and stormed out.

* * *

His eyes fixed on the last known place Bevan had played Ianto listened to the argument unfold.

The door slammed announcing its end. Ianto guessed his invitation to see Bevan's bedroom would have to wait. An uncontrollable shiver wracked him as he went over everything he knew in his mind. There was something so familiar about all this but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Rhys had said something about a lot of similar incidents where kids went missing but then turned back up none the worse for wear. Ianto growled; it was madding. He needed more information, maybe that would jog is memory: how many kids, where and when, there must be a record, he could plot it out and see if it was part of a pattern. He turned to leave when his mobile sounded.

"Nancy," Ianto replied as he heard the unit health nurse's voice. He took a breath. Nancy was not one to hold back her opinion on his health and braced himself. _"I got your message."_

"I'm sorry I know you must be disappointed in me."

_"I'm not disappointed Ianto, I'm worried."_

"Don't be."

_"How can I not be worried Ianto? You were due back here at nine for the next phase; instead I get a message that you can't make it_."

"Something's happened something I have to sort out."

"_What can be more important than your life Ianto?"_

"Nancy I…" Ianto stopped midsentence. He blinked; there was flicker just to his right. He turned around not sure he had seen anything.

_"Is it the effects? I know how you suffer from the nausea; we can up the medication, get it under control." _

"It's not that. It's just that I have to be here, I need to here." Ianto looked around again.

_"And where is here?"_

"Cardiff." Ianto heard a sigh on the end of the phone. "I would not be here if I had any other choice. It's not something I can explain over the phone. It's complicated but I have to be here." His voice became softer. "I can hear how concerned you are, and I know that I might be missing out on my last chance."

_"Ianto I want you to have every possible chance, this might be the big breakthrough everyone's been hoping for."_

'I don't need false hope," Ianto interrupted.

_"This is not false hope. You read the research same as rest of us did." _There was a pause_. "Ianto I've got an idea, but I need to speak to the ward manager. Don't move," she ordered. _The phone went dead.

A flicker...a definite flicker. He took two steps and found himself on the spot where Bevan was last seen. He looked at the phone in his hand and stepped back. Walking around the spot his phone rang. There it was. He tried to contain himself as Nancy spoke.

Snapping his phone shut Ianto found Gwen in front of him and from her expression she was about to speak. "Gwen, get your mobile," Ianto demanded.

"Look we need to talk…"

"Gwen your phone, your mobile," he demanded again.

She shook her head, confused. "What?"

"I need to use your phone," he instructed, following her into the house. A few moments later Gwen handed it to him.

He handed it back and manhandled her to stand on the spot he had gouged out with the heel of his shoe. "What's your number?" Gwen looked thoroughly confused. "I need to call you. What's your number?" he repeated and she rattled off the numbers.

Ianto moved over to the windows and dialled.

"Ianto this is mad," she shouted back.

"Did you see anything in the corner of your eyes, like a flicker?" She shook her head. "Try again." Several tries later Ianto growled. He was sure it was the mobile signal coming in causing a sort of interference pattern and making something visible but only for a fraction of a second. "Let me try," he called out and they swapped over. The mobile rang, and ready this time Ianto smiled. There it was but only while he was using his own phone. He looked at Gwen who was heading towards him.

"You've found something! Tell me?"

"I don't know," Ianto edged around her.

"If you have…tell me, Ianto. Tell me!" she cried out. Ianto shook his head. "Tell me Ianto, Tell me…..please if you found something," she begged.

"Gwen, let me go. I don't have the strength to fight you. Bevan has been missing for nearly two days. God know what state he's in."

"I know that. I love Bevan with all my heart. I love him like he was my own. I held him when he was two days old…" she stopped midsentence as Ianto staggered away from her.

"You've taken everything I ever wanted or dreamed; my lover, any possibly of life we had together, and my son."

"Ianto I'm sorry. I don't mean to sounds selfish.." Ianto pushed his way past. "I'm sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong, we were all grieving, none of us was thinking straight. Don't punish me by keeping this from me please," she shrieked.

Ianto turned back towards her. "I can give him this one thing and you want that as well. After everything you've taken you want to take the only gift I can give him."

He pushed her backwards and stepped into the lounge. He slammed the one open French door closed and quickly slammed the bolts into place.

"Ianto how dare you lock me out of me own home!" She watched as Ianto quickly left via the front door.

She banged on the door with her fists screaming. She stepped back to calm down and only then realised she still held her mobile. Pressing speed dial one, she shouted down the phone, "Jack, I think Ianto's found something."

* * *

Reaching the back of the lock-up, Ianto stretched and pulled down the topmost boxes. Ianto had stored it here along with all of the rest of Tosh's effects. He placed it high so it wouldn't be affected by any damp. Using his car key he sliced into the tape that sealed it and began to take out the contents. What he was looking for should be at the very bottom. He pulled out the shoe box and flipping the lid he smiled as he checked the contents. Quickly, with great care he replaced the other items and replaced the box back to its resting place.

He turned to find Jack blocking his way.

"Get out of my way."

Jack put his hand out. "Ianto, if you have found or thought of something let me help. We can work together."

"So you tell him later I didn't fight for him?"

"Ianto that's not what I meant."

"Why not? You've taken everything else."

"I won't stand in your way. I'll back you up one hundred percent if you want full access, or custody. I'll make sure you see him. Make sure he is part of your life."

"I'm not going to be part of his future. I have no time left." Jack looked confused and went to speak but Ianto interrupted. "Three years. Three years that could have been the best of my life. Can you give me those three years? Holding him in my arms just after he was born, his first smile, step, birthday, word, hearing him call me Daddy. Can you give me back those?"

"There will be other firsts, Ianto: first day at school, first time he holds your hand, the first time he calls you dad."

"I have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. I've already had two rounds of chemo and one of radiation therapy and now I'm on a clinical trial. I am a test subject because I have no other options left. There is no more time for me to have any more moments of his life you made damn well sure of that."

Jack saw Ianto's gaunt appearance for the first time. As he listened a terrible realisation hit him. His knees gave out and he grabbed a box to steady himself.

"What did I do for you to hate me so much that you would deny me knowledge of my own son and then give him to Gwen?"

'Ianto," tears flowed down Jack's face. "I did love you, do…"

Ianto pushed his face into Jack's. "When you love someone there are good times. But we never had good times did we? I took it all, didn't I? The rage, pain, the night terrors. I sometimes wondered if Owen believed me when I explained the cracked rips and bruises were caused by our late night call outs. I wonder what he would have thought of you had he known the truth."

"I treated you very badly, Ianto. I was so fucked up, I kept pushing you away, pushing…"

Ianto held up his hand. "Jack, I don't have time to listen to whatever justification you have finally managed to come up with to excuse what you did!"

"Please Ianto, I've lost everything. Steven, my grandson, is dead. My daughter has disowned me. I lost you. I can't lose him, please. Bevan is all I have left. If you've found something, anything..."

"Why all the fuss? Time is infinite for you. It doesn't' matter if you've thrown away their lives or mine. You can always move on and start all over again. You're immortal; you can have thousands of children." Ianto shouted as he took hold of Jack's coat lapels and shook him. "The only child I can ever have and you stole him from me. Do you understand what you have done? Three years I could have had, three precious years."

"You can fight this. He is someone to live for. Live for him." Jack exhorted.

"I've no reserves left." Ianto pushed Jack away and Jack fell backwards "Once I'm gone you can erase all evidence of me as you intended. But if I'm right I can give him this one gift and neither you nor Gwen are going to take this from me."

"I promise Ianto, he will live his whole life knowing how much you love...loved him. That it was you who saved him. How you did everything in your power to bring him home. He will hear how it was my selfish weakness that caused you to be absent, my failure to face you and tell you about him."

"Liar." Ianto picked up the box and pushed his way past.


	5. Chapter Four

**Four**

* * *

Resting the shoe box on the steering wheel, Ianto flipped the lid open and for a moment he found himself in front of Tosh's workstation as he cleared her life away. At the time he couldn't bear to discard a single sweet wrapper or any of the detritus that had littered her desk. Instead he had swept it into this box. Everything anyone needed to know about her was here. Her love of soft toffees, chewing gum, and the little post it note games she loved to play and this he pulled out what looked like an old-fashioned fountain pen.

If he had the energy he would have smiled. The pen was a singular reminder of her obsession with Maxwell Smart, the inept secret agent from 'Get Smart'. Ianto had argued that James Bond was suave, drove an Aston Martin, and looked excellent in a tux. Yes, she had agreed, but only Maxwell Smart had a shoe phone, a shoe phone that could be transformed into all manner of other devices. The pen had been the last birthday gift he had given her. It was not a phone, but a tiny camera. Delighted at his gift she had then proceeded to pull the whole thing apart. No longer a camera…he pressed the top of the pen and removed his phone.

Turning the phone over in his hand he used the pen to scan its surface. Yes, there it was a spec of dirt. So Jack had placed a tracking device on him, so that was how he had found him.

The pen beeped and squinting against the sun he checked the tiny screen. So there was another. Opening his car door he stood and scanned himself. No, nothing; it could have been in his car but he doubted that, because the night Jack and Rhys had confronted him had been after he'd arrived back which meant his car would be clean. Scanning his backpack he ran the pen down the seams. After several frustrating moments he found the tracker hidden in the inside seam of the outside top pocket.

First things first. Feeling a grim satisfaction he used the pen to deactivate both trackers, now no one could interfere or stop him.

* * *

Uncontrollable shaking infected Ianto's hands as he snapped the back cover of his mobile into place. Aligning the two chips to the correct frequency then inserting them into the circuitry of the phone had not been difficult, just finicky. Now it was done.

Next problem, he needed a cord, and he pulled out the cord from his hoodie and created a loop. He opened his phone and placed the string across the hinge and snapped it shut. _'Would that hold?'_ he asked himself, jiggling it up and down. Within seconds the phone jerked free and he caught the phone in his hand.

He couldn't risk it falling off or if he handed to Bevan or him letting go. He didn't want to even contemplate the ramifications if …_'Focus,'_ he told himself, _'concentrate on one thing at a time._' He looked at the cord then the phone. Maybe he could buy a sort of pouch with a strap? Then he could hang round his neck. _'All Bevan needed to do would be was press send._' Yes that would work; some kind of pouch. Placing the tools and the phone back into the small box he turned his car key.

* * *

Ianto stood on the place where he had gouged a mark with his heel earlier that day. He had only a short time to wait. Looking up his eyes caught a bedraggled flower. It was some kind of daisy but to Ianto its colours appeared to glow. He couldn't fathom why he had not seen this before because no flower he had ever seen could match the majesty of that broken bloom.

A door slammed and caught his attention. He recognised those voices; Gwen and Rhys were back from the studio, now he could act. Squatting down he flipped open his phone and pressed send.

After a moment of disorientation Ianto found himself inside an egg-shaped space. It was smaller than he had imagined and far more alien. Its smooth, seamless, clinical interior gave no clue to its purpose.

On a small raised shelf was small child was sucking his thumb, fast asleep. Bevan looked dirty and there were tear tracks down this face, but he looked none the worse for wear. Ianto allowed himself a moment of triumph as he took in the sleeping form then winced as something dug into his knees. He looked down and saw he was kneeling on a layer of containers, some of which looked suspiciously like juice boxes. The layer of rubbish was covered in crumbs which gave a hint to the contents of the other small packets.

Gently he ran his open hand down Bevan's face and let out a huge breath of relief. Bevan's eyes opened at the sound and touch. He startled and pressed himself in the wall of the object.

Bevan's face crumbled. "I-I-I want my mummy, I-I-I want my daddy."

"You want to go home?" Ianto nodded and Bevan nodded in return. "Well, I'm here to get you home." Bevan looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Home, Mummy, Daddy, Uncle Jack," Ianto repeated.

"Yes," Bevan replied then put his thumb back in his mouth.

"Bevan, you have no idea who I am. My name is Ianto. It's my job to get you home. See this?" Ianto held up his mobile. "This is your way home." Ianto pulled out the padded cell phone pouch he had purchased. "Your Daddy and Mummy are waiting for you but to get home you need to wear this." Bevan sniffed and reluctantly took it and put it around his neck. It was all red with swirly circles on it. "I'm sorry I could only find grown up ones." I bet you like phones?"

Bevan gave a hint of a smile. "Mummy lets me use hers. I sometimes call Daddy when he's in his truck and sometimes he calls me. He drives a great big truck." Bevan stretched out his arms wide to indicate its size. "When I'm good he takes me for a drive. I like going driving with Daddy."

"This is your phone now you can keep it all to yourself." Bevan looked at the phone with more interest. "Now to make this phone yours you need to press send." Bevan leaned in close as Ianto showed him the button to push. "Once you press that button you will find yourself back in your garden. Mummy and Daddy are going to give you a huge hug because they've been very worried about you."

He took Bevan's hand and smiled as he saw a small strawberry mark on the back of his hand. Quickly he pulled him into hug and kissed his cheek then he placed the mobile into the pouch.

"Okay ready." Bevan looked carefully at the phone and pressed send. Hearing the same crack, Bevan appeared to fade in and out, and then he was gone. Ianto felt his body fold into himself. Bevan was safe, back where he belonged. He could rest, at last he was done and he closed his eyes and sank to the floor.

* * *

Placing the kettle under the tap Gwen filled it with water. She heard the door open. She turned, hoping to see Rhys but it was Jack.

"Well did you find him?" she demanded.

"I lost him."

"How the hell could you lose him? You said you had put a tracker on his mobile." she slammed the kettle down. "I just spent an hour having to listen to the police and then make a statement and all I could think of was he knows. What if he finds him and takes him, hides him to punish me?"

"Why the hell would Ianto do that?" Rhys now entered the room.

"He knows Rhys. Ianto knows something. Tell him Jack."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rhys demanded.

"Ianto figured something out after lunch. Something about his mobile."

"Figured out…mobile?" Rhys repeated.

"Ianto has found something. I know it, he wouldn't tell me. He locked me out of my own home and left. Jack followed. He's going to take Bevan, I know it."

"Why don't you just bloody ask him? His car's parked just down the road."

"Here?" Jack threw the door open and started to race down the hall.

"You find him Jack, you find him, bring him back here, and make him tell us!" Gwen shouted at him

Jack placed his hand on the front door handle and heard Gwen let out a scream followed by Rhys calling out. Jack returned just in time to see her in the garden scooping up Bevan into her arms. Rhys, a few steps behind, wrapped his arms around them both.

* * *

'I'm thirsty," Bevan stated as they entered through the French doors into the kitchen. The police co-ordinator entered the room his face a mixture of stunned disbelief and relief.

"Of course you are my darling," Gwen agreed and held on to him like he was going to disappear again in an instant.

"I've called an ambulance," the co-ordinator stated as he looked at the small child. "He looks like he's unharmed but it won't hurt to check." Everyone nodded in agreement.

Gwen settled with Bevan on her lap as he greedily drank down the juice.

"That's my phone," Bevan said as the co-ordinator removed the mobile phone pouch along with the phone

"Yours?" Gwen asked as the co-ordinator checked it out then placed it in a specimen bag

"There was a strange man. He smelt funny and he hugged me. He said I was to press the button and I would be home then I could keep the phone so it's mine. I pressed a button," Bevan explained.

"Well your home safe now, no more strange men," Gwen said her arms around Bevan as he leaned into her chest.

"Can you tell us what happened?" A PC asked as she knelt before him.

"There was a strange man," he said sucking on the straw. "He gave me a mobile like Daddy's."

"Did the strange man take you or hurt you in any way?"

"No he came. I was asleep. He told me I was going home."

"Can you tell us anything else?"

"I got scared. I wanted to go home. I didn't like it."

"Can you tell us where you were?" the PC nudged.

"It was a like a cupboard only like being inside a big ball." Holding onto his juice Bevan used his arms to form a circle.

"Could you stand up?"

Bevan nodded. "It pinched my arm. It made noises and I had to do things."

"Do things?"

"There was a TV and I got lots of things right," he explained.

Gwen examined his arm. "Can you tell me where it pinched your arm?"

He pointed at the top outside of his left arm. "It squeezed. It hurt but then the TV came on and I saw happy pictures. Then I had to do things."

"Things?" Gwen creased her forehead and noted everyone looked as confused as she was.

"On the TV I had to touch the screen. Pictures and things. Some were real hard. Some were easy. I can count." Bevan rattled out numbers. "I had to say numbers and letters. It was fun, but then it stopped and I wanted to come home."

Everyone watched as two paramedics came into the room carrying equipment. Rhys pointed at Bevan.

"I hear you've been on adventure. And like all heroes who've been on an adventure we need to check you out." Bevan snuggled into Gwen as the paramedic spoke.

"Where the hell is Ianto? He should be here," Rhys said to Jack as they watched the paramedics examine Bevan.

"The man who'd been helping earlier?" the coordinator confirmed as he overheard Rhys' comment. "God knows what he thought he could do. Dead on his feet literally by the look of him." He pulled out a long envelope and some car keys. "He came in to see me just before you got back from the studio and asked me to give you these."

Taking the envelope Rhys tore it open.

_Rhys, I have found where Bevan is and gone after him. By the time you read this he should be back with you safe and unharmed._

Rhys looked across to see a paramedic use a stethoscope to listen to Bevan's heart. He continued reading.

_I have only enough equipment to get there and Bevan out so this is goodbye._

_Please try and keep Bevan as far away from Jack as you can. He deserves a normal life. Once he's grown up tell him how proud I would have been of him. That I approve of his life choices and how sorry I am that I wasn't part of his life. My only wish is for him to be happy. I've left a present for him, a stuffed dinosaur. It's a poor legacy I know but I am hoping that getting him back safe and alive will make up for that. You'll find that in my car. _

_Please make sure he has some contact with my sister and her family. I've left all her contact details in an envelope with the gift. How you explain all this to her I leave with you. I have also left a letter for my sister in the car. Please could you make sure she gets it? _

_I thank you for your support over the last two days. I think Bevan is very lucky to have you as his Dad. I can see how much you love him. Ianto._

Rhys finished reading and handed the letter to Jack. With effort Jack tore his eyes away from Bevan and took the letter. Finishing the last words he looked up at Rhys. Staggering he pushed open the door and made his way to the spot he had seen Ianto so many times over the last day. He found himself on his knees and he let out a wail.

* * *

Inside the pod a panel opened in the smooth surface and a small light glared red, then after a few seconds blinked green.

_Diagnostic cycle complete ….failure circuit 123598771111 … repair circuits go to level two. _The light now winked back to red.

_Level two repairs complete….testing…error. Go to level three._

_In progress…level two functions returned. _The red light blinked to green.

_Checking procedure…_

_Specimen gathered *_

_Sample taken*_

_Specimen tested *_

_Specimen returned_

_Checking condition of specimen. _An intense bean of light scanned the body in the pod.

_Error, Error, Error; non-compliant specimen._

_Specimen substitution. _The arm shot out again and rescanned the contents.

_Specimen-condition: critical._

_Engage eject sequence…_

_Error, Error, Error; level three repair completion 15 time units._

_14...13...12…11_

_Specimen condition: terminal_

_10…9…8…7…6_

_Specimen condition: life function zero._

_5…4…3…2...1_

_Repair complete. Function level three restored._

_Engage eject sequence_

The pod hummed and filled with light.

_Specimen ejected. _

_Engage return sequence._

* * *

Jack folded in on himself, along with the world around him and felt a deep part of him rip asunder. It shouldn't end like this. Not Ianto; not today. Bevan was safe but why should Ianto have to pay with his life, no matter how willingly given? Why had he deluded himself into thinking Ianto had moved on, finding the love he so richly deserved? Not three years of having to face a nightmare on his own?

He choked and emotions came to the surface as he imagined what Ianto must have suffered. It was that day; Ianto had walked in on them on that day. He should have insisted he come with him; he should been there for him. Three years...he could have made sure Ianto never doubted how much he loved and treasured the man, made sure every second counted. Instead he had robbed Ianto of his son, love and support.

Now he was gone, dying somewhere on his own. Somewhere Jack had no hope of reaching.

"Forgive me, forgive me," he whispered into the ground. There was going to be no redemption for him. None, not now, not ever because the person who could grant it was gone, destroyed because he had loved Jack. It was the curse, the curse he lived with to see everyone he ever loved or cared about obliterated by his own actions.

The air around him seemed to fill with static electricity. He heard a crackle. Jack lifted his head and he saw a ripple. He watched as rounded shape fade in and out. He stood up and stepped back.

It happened again. An egg appeared then faded and was replaced with a body curled in a foetal position.

Dropping to his knees Jack turned Ianto onto his back. With shaking hands Jack tried to find a pulse. He thought he felt a flutter but not a regular heartbeat.

Jack filled his lungs, tilted Ianto's head back, and poured life into him. He filled his lungs again, gathering as much life force as he could and willed it into Ianto's body. He felt again for a pulse...nothing. Placing his hand on Ianto's breastbone, he checked he was in the right position. He clasped both hands and began compressions.

"Help me!" Jack bellowed as he counted out to fifteen, stopped and breathed for Ianto again. "Someone help me?" he repeated and began compressions again, to find a paramedic racing towards him.

The male paramedic took over the compressions and now Jack focused on the breath of life. Each breath he concentrated on gathering his life energy into his lungs then diffusing it into Ianto.

The other paramedic, a young woman, began setting up equipment. She hooked Ianto up to a heart monitor. She went to check Ianto's wrist and sat back on her heels. She checked again. The young woman pulled at the other paramedic's arm. "Joe, we have to stop."

"No, we can save him, it's not too late," Jack called out as he filled Ianto's lungs again.

She pulled up Ianto's sleeve. "He's wearing a DNR bracelet."

Joe looked down as she showed him the medic alert bracelet. "Christ," the man said as the woman and he swapped over and he took a look himself. He nodded to her and she stopped.

"Why the hell are you stopping?" Jack looked at her sharply.

"DNR, Do Not Resuscitate," Joe explained unhappily.

"We can't legally continue," the woman told him.

"This is not the day he dies, do you understand? Not today." Jack pushed her out the way and continued to pump Ianto's heart.

"It says he's has terminal cancer and we are not to resuscitate," the woman argued

"It's a DNR and it's what he wants…" The male paramedic tried to explain as they began to pack up.

"RHYS!" Jack screamed down the garden. "RHYS!"

Jack found Rhys at his side. "Rhys he can't die. He's suffered enough for my sins. Help me give Ianto time, please for both his and Bevan's sake."

Rhys fell to his knees and pushed the medic aside. Moments passed as the paramedics watched in silence.

Desperation bubbled up in Rhys' chest. "Don't just fucking stand there! Do something!" Rhys screamed as the paramedics.

"He's only twenty six years old and today he found out he has someone to live for. Please," Jack begged.

"We can't. He's signed a living will," the woman argued, clearly unhappy that they couldn't help.

She looked across to the other paramedic who was shaking his head when Jack lent down and tried ripping off the bracelet. It wouldn't come off so he slipped it over Ianto's wrist and hand. Jack then threw it toward the back the garden with all his might.

"I didn't see that," the woman medic said.

"See what?" the man said and began to pull out equipment.

The other medic took off the large square sticking plaster that covered the back of Ianto's right hand, revealing a cannula and she inserted saline. She handed the bag to one of the police who had been observing as the drama unfolded. The constable held it up and she opened valve to full.

"Do we know what kind of cancer he has?" the male medic asked.

"He's got Leukaemia," Jack told them.

"Oh god, Jack!" Rhys burst out.

"He's severely dehydrated," the paramedic pulled the skin on Ianto's forearm and it remained standing. "Has anyone seen him drink?"

"Sort of energy drink but I think he threw most of it up," Rhys answered.

Jack drew another breath, pulling life energy which was increasing with every moment and poured into his Ianto. As he did Ianto appeared to glow momentarily.

"Stop," the paramedic commanded and they halted. They held their breath. "Blood pressure's starting to come up." And they saw and heard a heart blip on the monitor strengthen.

"Still not breathing on his own," the male medic announced and Jack continued to fill Ianto with more of his life force. He heard a gasp as Ianto's veins appeared to pulse with each breath, then fade.

"I've called another ambulance; they can continue checking out the small boy."

"Why is he not breathing?" Rhys asked.

"Breathing takes effort. He has no reserves," the woman stated, pointing out Ianto's physical condition. "The body eats itself to fight the disease and so he had no resources left. It means he has no energy to breathe on his own." She was taken aback as the same affect she witnessed a few moments ago happened again, stronger this time as Jack filled Ianto with his life energy.

They listened as they heard the sirens getting closer. They watched as with each breath Ianto's heart beat took on a more regular rhythm. With each breath, Jack brought him back from the brink, one fragment at a time.


	6. Chapter Five

**Five.**

* * *

Fumbling to place her coin purse back into her hand bag, Rhiannon raced through the double doors of the entrance to the hospital. She scanned the massive sign listing all the different departments but there was so many. The words on the sign seem to blur as she felt a rush of anxiety making each word impossible to read.

Calming herself, she forced herself to slow down. Right; she needed to go right and follow the red arrows on the floor. She bit her lip. This place was like a maze; now turn left, now, right again.

Ianto should be at home in Manchester. She had received a text saying he had arrived home and had thanked them for a great weekend and to give Mica and David a hug good night. Next thing the police were on the phone, saying it was vital she get to the University Hospital here in Cardiff. She was bewildered and she gulped. He had looked so bad. Had be gotten home and collapsed and been lying there all this time unable to call for help? She fought back tears at the thought of him dying on his own. She found herself moving faster and faster and as she turned a corner she almost tripped over her feet. She grabbed the support rail and swallowed; looking around she realised she was closer that she thought. Pushing open the door she raced up to the desk of the emergency room, her mind whirling.

She felt like her heart was going to explode as she stood in behind three other people queuing up to at the reception desk. _'Bugger this._' She couldn't wait and pushed her way to the front.

"Sorry I don't mean to be rude. Ianto Jones," she took a breath. "The police told me Ianto Jones has been brought in by ambulance." Rhiannon pulled open her hand bag and plunged her hand in. "Sorry I'm Rhiannon Davies, his sister." She pulled out her driver's licence and showed it to the receptionist.

"Is he," she burst out to see a nurse come through more double doors and approach her and she gently pulled her aside.

"Ianto's alive. He was brought in by ambulance about an hour ago. I'll take you through in just a moment. I need you to prepare yourself. Ianto has suffered respiratory failure so he's on a ventilator. He is severely dehydrated and he's had two seizures. He's connected to a lot of equipment. If you need me to explain anything just ask." The nurse pulled back the curtain.

Rhia gasped as she moved to his side. "It's okay, you can take his hand." Rhia didn't hesitate and took his hand in hers. She tracked all the tubes and wires trying to take in the state of him. In the background she could hear a shushing noise that acted in rhythm with the movement of his chest.

"We are waiting to transfer Ianto to Oncology ICU. It's very important that you call everyone who needs to be here to get here as soon as they can."

"I have my husband. He is on his way here," Rhia sniffed and the nurse gave her some tissues.

"It's important to get those who need to be here as soon as you can," she reiterated. "We have no idea how much brain function he still has. He can't breathe on his own." She pointed at the ventilator. Two small lights blinked red with each rotation.'Breathing is an automatic function and it could be an indication that his brain function has been affected because he should be attempting to breathe but he's not." She pointed to the indicators on the ventilator." This measures effort and right now the machine is doing all the work."

"You're saying he's dead and you're just keeping him alive…"

"We don't know. It could be that his body is so exhausted he doesn't have the energy to breathe. Once he's upstairs they can do a brain function test. It's prepare for the worst, pray for the best," Rhia broke into tears.

A few moments passed then she pulled herself up straight and blew her nose. "What happened? I saw him just over twenty-four hours ago; he spent the weekend with us. He was walking, talking. I know he got home because he sent me a text," she said to the nurse who moved past her to check one of the two drips.

"All we know is he collapsed and was resuscitated at the scene then brought in by ambulance."

"Why bring him all the way here? Wouldn't it have been better to take him to the nearest hospital?"

The nurse looked confused. "This was the nearest hospital."

"But this is miles and miles away from where he lives. He was due there this morning he had an appointment at 9 o'clock. Why didn't you take him there?" Rhia continued.

"Where was his appointment?" the nurse who had met Rhia asked.

"Royal Infirmary, Manchester. He was under Doctor Marcus Hussein."

The nurse who was writing on the Ianto's chart noted the information. "He was brought in from around Pentyrch I think."

"But what the hell was he doing there? He was okay just over one day ago. He was starting the second phase of a trial; he left here, yesterday evening and now he's here, not in Manchester but Cardiff, Pentyrch I just don't understand. " Rhia told them stroking the back of Ianto's hand.

One of the male nurses who were checking the ventilator turned to her.

"There was someone who might know. He followed the ambulance in."

"Oh yes, that's right. Handsome sort of bloke," one of the other nurses spoke up. "He's in the waiting room. He's been asking to see him, we told him he had to wait because he was not family. And it sounds like you need answers. If you need to find out now might be the time, because once you go upstairs you most likely won't get another chance."

"I don't want to leave him."

"Maybe this man might be able to help. He might have information that could be useful to why he was here and not at home. We'll call you if his condition changes or if we start to move him."

Rhia blew her nose. Then, taking her hand bag found herself being led back to the reception area.

* * *

Jack stood, his back to the wall next to the drinks machine. He fixed his eyes on the double doors that led to the emergency treatment area as if somehow he could use his vision to enable his life force to continue to keep Ianto alive

This was as near as he could get. The staff had thanked him for his efforts in saving Ianto's life and for assisting the paramedics but now it was time for him to stand back and let them do their jobs. He had entreated them but had been politely then firmly refused; he had no clear relationship so please wait. Waiting only broken as Rhiannon had swept past and since then nothing. There was no news, good or bad.

He heard a gasp and found Rhiannon, her eyes wild with distress and grief in front of him.

"Ianto?" he croaked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded ignoring his question.

"I came in with Ianto, I followed the ambulance."

"Did you? What is god's name was he doing here in Cardiff? He was meant to be in Manchester instead of here. Tell me how my brother, who I saw just over a day ago, is lying in there fighting for his life?" Jacks heart jumped. So he was still alive.

"He drove back Sunday night, it was important..." Jack started to explain.

"What could have been so important that he would come back all the way down here? Monday morning he was meant to start his last chance. His last chance and now you stole that from him. Why would you take his last chance away? Do you hate him so much that you would destroy any possibility he might have to overcome this?"

"That's not it, Rhia."

"You selfish pig. You've taken everything from him…" she stopped to compose herself.

"I didn't know."

"Didn't want to know more like. He was in Manchester, not the bloody moon. Don't tell me you couldn't find him."

"I did find him but he wouldn't speak to me. He refused every opening," Jack struggled to explain.

"Never stopped you before has it, doing whatever you bloody wanted. Now tell me what was so important that he got himself into such a state."

"It's complicated."

"My brother's dying! Is that all you've got to say?" She pulled herself up to full height. "I'll give you complicated you miserable excuse for a human being." She swung at him with her handbag.

"I didn't know," Jack deflected the bag but she hit him again with more force.

"Didn't know? Didn't you look with your eyes? How could you not see? It was as clear as night and day!"

"Please you have to let me see him. I can help. I promise." Jack raised his forearms to deflect her blows.

"What, like you've helped over the past three years? You destroyed him, that's what you've done." Rhia lashed out again." You and that slut broke his heart!" she screamed.

She drew back momentarily to catch her breath. "Then he has this one chance and you drag him back here. Now instead of a few more months or any chance of remission I have to sit in there and hold his hand while he dies," Rhia snarled at him. "That's right, Jack. They're keeping him alive so his family can get here so we can say goodbye and then tomorrow I have to stand by and…" she burst into tears and hit Jack again. "He's not even conscious, he doesn't even know we're here to say goodbye."

"Let me see him please."

"What possible good do you think you can do?"

"I can't explain it but I can help."

"So if you can't explain it means nothing," she spat out.

"I am sorry."

"Don't want that you're fucking sorry. Any sorry you had should have been reserved for him. I know my brother. He would never have returned here for nothing so tell me: why did he come back here?"

"It was my fault. Something from our shared past, something I should have told him."

"If it is your fault then why does he have to pay for your mistakes? You've stolen him from us. I hate you Jack Harkness!"

'What the hell is going on?" Johnny demanded. Rhia turned around and saw him accompanied by two security guards who had been called in to deal the argument that had erupted.

"Him, that's what' going on." Rhiannon pointed at Jack.

Before anyone could react a nurse hurried towards them. "You need to come. They are taking him up now. "

Without a backwards glace Rhia moved towards the door. Jack moved to follow when Rhia spun around and pushed her face into Jack's."Not you! You are going nowhere near him, you murderous bastard."

"You keep away from him, do you hear?" Johnny warned him. Then silently they followed the nurse behind the doors.

* * *

The doors flapped shut and Jack felt a wave of desperation. He could keep Ianto alive, if there was even the faintest of embers. He could do it, had done it. Ianto had been dead; the fluttering he had felt through his fingertips just after he had appeared had been the final beat of his heart. An ember, a tiny fragment of life, brought back from the brink. Filled with Jack's life energy it would only dissipate. He had to get close, keep pumping the energy in allowing Ianto time to rebuild his reserves, if nothing else bring him back into consciousness. But how? A hospital worker passed in green pouted and, ignoring the stares of those gathered in the waiting room, he followed.

In the back of the darkest store room he could find, Jack prepared himself. Stripping he replaced his clothes with those that would make him recognisable as one of the hospital's work force. Someone who even if seen would never be questioned. He would transform into an individual so ubiquitous he could slip into any area, or ward. If asked he was on his way to pick up, or deliver. Folding his clothes he looked for a place to hide them. He would be here a while so best be prepared. Looking around he spotted an old fashioned desk with draws...perfect. Closing the draws he smoothed the scrubs down. Now he needed an identity and he picked up the name tag he had put aside earlier. Using his vortex manipulator he changed the name. Now he was David Llewellyn, porter. All he needed was one final thing. He may not be able to use his manipulator as a scanner but it did have one or two core features left over from his days as a Time Agent. One was the reason he had been such a successful spy. He pressed a sequence of buttons and he was ready.

Jack approached the entrance of the Oncology ICU and checked the perception field. The circuits were clearly in need of repair; it couldn't handle any speedy transition as he had found out when he had turned a corner and nearly collided with one of the hospital's many security guards. His disguise had immediately proven its worth. People saw what they wanted. Had he been Captain Jack Harkness creeping about the hospital he would have been escorted out, instead he had continued on like he was part of the building. It wouldn't matter once he was inside the ward, he could press himself into a corner and hide in full view. The door opened he took his chance and slipped inside.

Walking down the corridor he came to a large open ward with eight beds, four of which were filled. It was late evening and the room had an air of quiet deliberate professionalism as a team of nurses attended to each patient. Slipping in between the curtains Jack moved to position himself at the head end of the bed. Ianto was laid out; several bags of fluid covered with various fluorescent labels were being pushed into his body. He was connected to several monitors which were serviced by a bank of smaller screens. Jack let out the breath he was holding onto as he saw Ianto's heart beat was still strong. Now he had to wait for a moment of distraction. He couldn't see Rhiannon or Johnny.

One of the other beds began to sound alarms and several nurses moved in that direction. He looked down, and realised he was going to have to unplug the tube from the ventilator to get access. Moving onto his knees he examined the machine. Somehow he had to get his breath in so it could be pumped into Ianto. His examination of the machine was interrupted as Rhiannon returned and sat down and took Ianto's hand.

"Ianto, it's me, Rhia. I've just been talking to the nurses, they are so lovely. Been taking right good care of you. Johnny's gone for some coffee so he'll be back in awhile. I know how hard it's been over the past couple of years but thank you for staying until Mica was born. I know it was a struggle and I'm so glad you got to hold her. You have to live Ianto or I'm promising I'm going to tell her the most outrageous tales about you. You've been the best brother a sister could ever have had. I wish I could have been a better sister to you. I should have been there for you." She shifted her feet and continued her one-sided conversation.

Next to the wall Jack looked in one of the spare compartments and found what he was looking for, a spare hose. With care he pulled it out. Opening a higher side panel he saw this unit could also be used to give an anaesthetic. Carefully he slotted the hose into the correct slot. It clicked into place; Jack now blew into the end carefully in case it set off any alarms. He waited then tried again, stronger this time. Now he sat back slightly and he used bio control to gather his life essence into a more concentrated form.

He figured one in ten breaths should do it. This way Ianto would be gaining a greater dose which would allow it to diffuse into each cell. He drew breath and blew with force into the pipe. He strained and observed the heart monitor. He waited for a moment then smiled as he saw Ianto's heart beat take on a stronger rhythm.

* * *

Rhia woke with a jerk; she pulled back and rubbed the back of her neck. She hadn't meant to fall asleep but she had been exhausted. Night time here was strange, the lights were low but the room bustled with energy as people moved from bed to bed. It looked like organised chaos but as time passed it began to make more sense. It had been her concentration on Ianto's heart beat that had done it, and she had found herself drifting off.

"You look a little better," one of the nurses brushed passed her to check the Foley bag and the volume of the contents, and noted them down

"How's he doing?" The nurse smiled and pointed at the ventilator. The second light now was winking green with every breath.

"You're telling me what I think you're telling me..."

"It's a very good sign. It means every time the machine breathes for him he is now making an effort to assist."

"I can't believe it, when, how?" Rhia stammered as she took several tissues and blew her nose.

"About two hours ago. His stats have made steady improvement, blood pressure's up, and his heart rate."

"I need to call Johnny," Rhia said getting out her mobile.

"Why don't you make your call then, go and make a cup of coffee, and a slice of toast. There's a small staff kitchen just down the hall," the nurse pointed out, smiling.

Rhia stood, then leaned over and kissed Ianto on his forehead. "Don't you move," she told him.

Under the bed Jack stirred. As soon as the nurse moved out the way he removed the hose and returned it to its compartment. With a stealth that surprised even him in his stiffened and achy state he waited until he was down a floor before he stretched and allowed himself to feel a moment of triumph.

Reaching the dark store room he pulled down a blanket and made himself comfortable. It had been one hell of a night. Now he needed to recover and get ready for tonight. Where to go next, once Ianto was out of immediate danger, was the big question. He was meant to be on some kind of trial. If that was his only chance he needed more information. He pulled out his mobile and punched in a long series of numbers.

**"**Martha, it's Jack. Tell me everything you know about Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia," he said as soon as he heard an answer.


	7. Chapter Six

**Six**

* * *

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Bevan flew towards Rhys who scooped him up. Bevan threw his arms round Rhys' neck in a big hug.

"Where's mummy?"

"Giving Anwen a bath." Bevan laid his head on Rhys' shoulder. "Something has happened. Normally, you're covered in a layer of honey, jam, biscuits crayons and dirt! Let me see those knees..."

"I had a bath. I'm in my racing car pyjamas. I can run as fast like a racing car." Bevan wiggled down and began running around the room making an engine noise.

The noise changed pitch. "I'm changing gears!" He ran into Rhys' legs. "Crash!" He fell backwards, laughing.

"Oh no we need an ambulance!" Rhys knelt down and started to tickle him. "Help, I need help! I have small boy what needs tickling." Bevan burst into fits of giggles.

Rhys looked up to see Gwen, lips pursed, holding Anwen wrapped in a towel.

Rhys jumped up. "How's my best girl?" he said, taking Anwen.

Bevan now climbed up on the sofa and started jumping up and down.

"Thank you," Gwen pointed out.

"I don't want a row, Gwen," Rhys told her sharply.

"Here I am, on my own, trying to get two children ready for bed and you wind them up."

"Story, Daddy," Bevan said now taking Rhys' hand.

"You go choose a book, jump into bed and I'll be right up."

Bevan raced up the stairs. Following, Rhys went up the stairs and started to get Anwen ready for bed. He looked up and saw Gwen standing in the door frame, her arms crossed.

"I suppose you'll be packing up more stuff."

"What were you expecting Gwen? You could sleep with whoever you wanted behind my back and I would just turn a blind eye?"

"Of course not," Gwen replied.

"Then why ask?"

"I was hoping that…you've had time to think things through. I don't want to lose what we have Rhys, our family...us," she said quietly.

Rhys glanced across at her then continued to put a nappy on Anwen. "Listen, that was gone the moment you touched Jack. And you lied to me about Bevan. You and Jack, bold-faced liars the pair of you. And don't think I don't know why you did it."

"He was desperate."

"But not desperate enough to tell Ianto." Rhys looked up as he pulled Anwen to standing and she put her arms up so he picked her up. "You were desperate, weren't you Gwen? Desperate to have a slice of Jack. If you couldn't have him then his son would do."

Gwen looked uncomfortable. "That's not what happened. He didn't know what to do. He was going out of his mind with grief. He had just had to kill Steven, he couldn't cope."

"And you saw your chance and offered yourself out the goodness of your heart." Rhys took a breath and he heard Bevan calling out. He stared at Gwen then handed Anwen over.

* * *

"So what have you chosen?"

"Guess." Rhys pretended to think. "I'm thinking, thinking..." He watched Bevan squirm in delight. "_The Owl and the Pussycat_," Rhys declared and Bevan pulled the book out.

Settling down Rhys looked around as he turned to the first page. "Where's your dinosaur?" Rhys asked. Looking about he saw it on top of the highest shelf across from Bevan's bed. Getting up Rhys dusted off the toy. Bevan wrapped his arms around the blue and gold stegosaurus.

"Mummy says he likes being up high so he can guard the room from monsters."

"Did she?" Rhys tweaked Bevan's nose. "I say he likes being close so he can eat any monsters that come after you." He opened to the first page and began to read. "The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some money and plenty of honey wrapped in a five pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above and sang to a small…"

Rhys turned to the last page, "…And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, they danced to the light of the moon, the moon, they danced to the light of the moon."

Bevan yawned as Rhys closed the book. "One more, Daddy?"

"Okay, one more," Bevan pulled out a second book. "Then I need to talk to Mummy."

"Mummy's sad."

"Daddy's really sad. Sometimes grownups do daft things and they need sorting out."

Bevan gave him huge hug. "That's to help fix it. I gave Mummy a big hug so both fixed," he said with complete certainty. Rhys sighed. He wished this could be fixed with a hug.

Taking it Rhys opened the cover. "How do Dinosaurs say good night," and smiled as he saw Bevan bring the toy around so it could see better.

Rhys closed the book. Standing he tucked Bevan in, who was almost asleep. Kissing him on the forehead he smoothed down the covers.

Closing the door, he left it open a crack, and then went and looked in on Anwen. She was in her cot fast asleep, thumb in her mouth.

Walking over he kissed her gently. Sighing he went down the stairs to face Gwen, bracing himself for what had to be done.

* * *

"I've put the kettle on."

Rhys looked at Gwen. "I'm not stopping. Just so you know day after tomorrow I'm taking Bevan up to see Ianto."

Gwen stared at him. "I thought he said he didn't want to see him." Gwen fiddled with the cord on the kettle. She had been so happy when she had heard he had refused. All that bloody fuss he had made and when it came down to it he didn't want him.

"He was in the ICU Gwen, covered in wires and surrounded by machines, at death's door. I accepted his argument that he didn't want Bevan to see him like that. It would only frighten him. Now he's been moved to the main ward things are different."

"I see," Gwen moved to her other foot.

"No, I don't think you do Gwen."

"He's like Jack: one moment Bevan is the most important person in his life; next thing he leaves him with us. Bevan doesn't need that in his life. He's not a toy, he's a wee boy."

"And you would know all about that," Rhys retorted.

"Look, I want what's best for Bevan."

"And what about Ianto? This could be the only time he gets to spend with him. He's being moved back to Manchester in four days. Who knows what will happen? He's here in Cardiff and he might not get another chance."

"And once he gets better you will work out a way to make sure I never see my boy again!" Gwen pulled out a tissue.

"That's the problem Gwen; he is not your boy. Bevan is Ianto's son. As far as I'm concerned I'm just acting as a guardian until he gets better. Had I known the truth I would never have taken him on." Rhys pointed at the table. "You sat there with Jack, and lied to me. You set me up and now I have to deal with the mess."

Gwen started to cry. Rhys watched in silence for several moments before he spoke.

"Do you know what my mum calls those?" Gwen sniffed and looked up. "She calls them crocodile tears. You got yourself into this. You and Jack chose to sit there and lie through your back teeth."

Rhys tapped his forehead. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought I could give him…" she pointed between them, "we could give him a good home. I'm a good mother. I've love him like he was my own."

Rhys rolled his eyes. "No one is arguing you're not a good mother. And I've had to defend you, Gwen. You should hear my mother. She has been having a go since I moved back home. She wants me to take Anwen," Gwen gasped "I've argued you being a good mother is not the problem. The problem is that you slept with another man and lied to me about Bevan's real other parent."

Rhys took a breath. "God Gwen, have you any idea how hard it is for me? Firstly I have to find out you were fucking Jack behind my back. Then I find out the child I love and adore is another man's son. And you deliberately went out of your way to keep him from ever knowing. Have you any idea how cruel that was? You denied Ianto any chance he had of even offering to take him or him having any kind of connection. You stole him Gwen. And you made me a part of that. I feel sick inside. And what about Bevan? He has a right to know Ianto."

Gwen remained silent, twisting the tissue in her hand.

"What else have you lied about? Was everything we ever had a complete lie? Was any of it real? Or did I come up second choice after your Jack itch faded, or were there others?"

"No one Rhys, I promise! No one else!" Gwen replied glaring at Rhys in anger.

"There you are lying again." Gwen opened her mouth in shock. "A few months after you started working at Torchwood one of my drivers told me he had seen you with a frog-faced bloke. He reckoned he saw you and him snogging in some car park, trying to suck each other's face off." He looked at her directly. "Was he mistaken?"

Gwen shook her head. Rhys folded his arms. Gwen first shifted her weight from foot to foot then, looked around the room. She picked at the tissue in her hand until it was nothing but fragments remained she sniffed looked at the floor then nodded almost imperceptivity.

"Do you want to know what I called him? Do you?" he raised his voice. "I called him a fucking shit-stirring, troublemaking liar. I fired him Gwen. A good driver I lost because of you."

"Rhys, I was confused, lost, thrown in the deep end. I couldn't speak to you about any of it. I saw terrible things, did terrible things. I mean on my first day I caused the death of god knows how many men because I was careless. Then I got deeper in and it all just spiralled out of control!"

"You know, since I met you I haven't had a thought in my head about anyone else, Gwen. You were my world. Two beautiful children, our life together. I was so happy. It's all gone Gwen, all of it ripped apart by your actions."

"I love you Rhys. I know you don't believe me, but all this is in the past. Long gone. I was different then. I'm asking you, don't throw all this away. Please give me a chance."

"You and Jack could be twins. Don't throw what you have away? Throw what away? A woman who can't keep her knickers on and sleeps with Captain Underpants? And lies to get what she wants? And then on top of it all is Bevan. The lies, Gwen they just keep on coming. If I keep digging what the hell else am I going to find?" He looked at her. "Well here's a challenge. You write it all out. The whole lot in a confession. I want to see every name, every lie you've told me. The truth, all of it." He pulled out a document. "And while you're contemplating the truth, you can start with this."

She took and unfolded it. "Please no, Rhys. I promise I will tell you everything. Make a fresh start, please."

"It's a separation agreement. You get to have the children four days one week, three the next, unless you can come up with a better arrangement."

"Your mother is not going to get her hands on my kids," Gwen said defiantly.

"Not her...me. I'm going to look after them."

"What about your work at Harwood's?"

"How I manage my life is not up for discussion. Now, Wednesday afternoon I'll be picking up Bevan. Make sure he has his dinosaur with him." Gwen put the document down and glared at him. "He needs to be ready. Don't feed him lunch; I'm taking something to eat."

As Rhys left Gwen moved onto the sofa. Grabbing a cushion she placed it over her face and screamed.

* * *

Ianto lay looking at the ceiling as the nurse fussed around him. He was alive against every instruction and plan he had put into place. He had asked what happened to the bracelet and Rhia had ignored his question. He knew she disagreed with him, that was their Catholic upbringing, but it was his choice. What did he have to do? Get' DO NOT RESCUITATE. YES IT MEANS I WANT TO DIE' tattooed across his chest?

He hated being here. He hated what his life had become. He might as well be some inanimate object, he was no longer human. He was Rhiannon's brother, Bevan's father, a patient. He was no longer Ianto Jones, a man with feelings, and wants and needs. He was nothing, just a bag of bones.

He ground his teeth in fury. It was do this, do that; turn over. He was an adult, a grown man. He could make his own decisions. No, apparently he couldn't because Jack had decided he was going to live. Live...as if this was living, having every aspect of your life controlled by this vile illness. He knew what was coming: more pain, more embarrassment, more helplessness, and more loss of self-control. And to have the only thing he had control over ripped from him...fuck it, he hated every fucking moment, fuck the lot of them.

It was the expectations that gave him a headache. He had enough to deal with, without everyone crowing about their success like some bloody great big sign flashing 'Second Chance.'

God how he had come to hate those two words. He had wanted to scream and rile at them. This was not a second chance. This was a pathway to more suffering, more pain, loneliness and loss of his freedom and independent action. . More of having to put up with everyone's tip-toeing around him with their false faces and platitudes.

_'Fuck the lot of you. Damn them, damn them all to hell. Fuck and damn you pack of fucking cunt wanker arseholes_. _Fucking wanker cunts, pricks, arseholes…' _

Ianto heard rustling and opened his eyes and saw Rhys_. What was with this man? Was Rhys Williams was now his best friend? He didn't need a best friend. 'Pity, he was sick of it. Didn't need fucking pity what he needed what he wanted was to get out of here…_

Ianto tried to sit up. Rhys moved to help but stopped when Ianto threw him a filthy look.

"Get your dressing gown it's a nice day. I found a sort of sun room."

Ianto glared at him.

"Still angry?"

"Fuck you."

Rhys handed him his dressing gown. "That's good because I would hate if that was the face you showed me if you were pleased to see me."

"And you can tell Jack to fuck off as well."

"Is he still hanging about?" Rhys watched Ianto struggle to put on his dressing gown.

"I can smell him. When I wake up. I know he's fucking been here."

"You know Jack. Law unto himself."

Ianto narrowed his eyes at Rhys who offered his arm. "You know, anyone else would be grateful we saved your life."

"Fuck you," Ianto replied as he leaned on Rhys.

"How's the throat?"

"Like it's had a tube forced down it for five days."

"Well, your speaking is less croaky."

They made their way down the corridor to a sort visitor's room just over from the reception desk. The sun was streaming in. On reaching it Ianto went to stand by the window and looked out.

After a short while he turned to Rhys and let out a huge breath. "Let's get this over with."

"Tomorrow I'm bringing Bevan with me."

"I don't want to see him," Ianto started to leave.

"Things are different now." Rhys steadied him.

"What would be the point? What the hell good would it do? It's not like I'm going to be around."

Rhys moved back. "I've had enough of this nonsense, Ianto."

"This is not nonsense."

"I see that you're hurt and I can see how angry you are. We saved your life: me, Jack, the paramedics, along with the staff in this hospital. I did it for one reason only, to give you time with Bevan. You have a lot to be angry about. You're not alone Ianto." Ianto's eyes flared. "There's me, I've lost my whole family. And you're right, you can match what I've lost a hundred, even a thousand times, over but there is one person who has lost a whole lot more than everyone combined. Bevan!"

"The start of the day he went missing he was part of a family. He lived in a home with a mum, dad, baby sister. He had grandparents and a loving on-again, off-again uncle. His biggest concern in any day was what flavour juice he was going to have. Or what book he was going to choose for his bed time story. By the end of that day his whole world was ripped apart. Now he has people fighting and hurt, arguing over who's been hurt the most. Yeah Jack hurt you. Gwen hurt me. They hurt both of us. In the middle is a little boy who is now completely lost."

"I have nothing to offer him, Rhys. If you bring here all he is going to see is some strange bloke he doesn't know."

Rhys put up his hand to interrupt and lent forward, crowding Ianto. "I'm not here arguing about what you want, Ianto. I'm here for Bevan. He deserves to know you. Or are you expecting me to give him the talk when he's thirteen? Oh your dad loved you but he threw away the only opportunity he had to spend even a moment with you because he was so angry with your other dad and pissed off with every other living being in the known universe that he refused to see you."

"That's not it and you know it," Ianto growled.

"Isn't it? What about what Bevan needs and deserves? His right to know you and Jack? He has a right to spend time with you. You said you had been robbed of time. What if this is the only time you have? Don't take that from him, just because you are doing your 'dying martyr how dare you save me' routine."

"It is not a routine," Ianto flared.

"Well, from where I'm standing you're being bloody selfish. Bevan needs you. He needs to know you. He deserves some happy memories of you because one day you will die and he will be left with nothing. At least give him something so later, even if it's just a few photos of you he can move forward with his life." Rhys took a breath. "He can live his whole life trying to make you proud of you or you could have him live his life believing that somehow he wasn't worth you putting in an effort."

Ianto looked at Rhys as he worked his lips, trying to find a reply.

"Now I'm going. I will be here at twelve with Bevan. There is a small playground and I'm bringing a picnic. We are going to sit down, eat, and we are going to have some photographs taken. And if you are the man I think you are you will be here ready and waiting." Rhys turned and left.

* * *

Rhys dug into the large wicker carrier bag he had and pulled out several different varieties of supermarket sandwiches in hard plastic boxes. "Now I have ones with lots of different flavours: chicken and cranberry; cheese, ham, and tomato; and tuna with mayonnaise."

"Tuna, I want tuna!" Bevan jumped up and down. Rhys handed the sandwich to Ianto to open. Ianto pulled it apart.

"Drink?" Ianto asked gently as Bevan took a bite of his sandwich.

"We have red, yellow, orange, green, or brown." Rhys offered several cans.

Bevan pointed to the orange can.

Rhys handed the can to Ianto. He put his own sandwich down and pulled the tab.

"You're funny, Daddy." Concentrating, Bevan took the can with both hands and took a sip.

"Well, Ianto is helping me out today." He looked across at Ianto who was looking at Bevan in a way that made Rhys heart ache.

"I have sore fingers, see?" He held out his hand to show Bevan who looked at them carefully. "Ianto said that I could borrow his." Rhys took a bite of his sandwich. "Cheese, ham, and tomato, my favourite."

* * *

"Tell me how did you do it?" Rhys asked as he glanced across at Bevan was now looking up into a tree they had earlier seen a grey squirrel in.

"Do what?" Ianto asked taking a small bite of the chicken sandwich he had chosen, his gaze fixed on Bevan who was now checking another tree.

"Figure out where Bevan was and work out how to get him back."

"You can thank Tosh for that. Just before Owen died she'd started to look into reports about children going missing. They were gone long enough to be noticed but most just seemed to reappear. One or two you could disregard, children just wandering off or hiding, but it seemed to be several at a time all in any given area. Tosh wanted to see if it was Rift related."

"Was it?"

Ianto shook his head. "Not from what she could work out. There were no discernible Rift spikes, negative or positive. But there was a pattern: all the children were around three years old and all of them verbal. The children in every case were unharmed. From what they said they found themselves in a small enclosed place, given a battery of tests, then within two hours were returned. I did a comprehensive search through the archives. We also went through the police records and any newspaper reports we could find. The first report was in 1960's, and with no discernible pattern we could see. We went out to several sites where a child had gone missing. Tosh picked up a particular energy signature which could be found on a single electronic frequency." Ianto became quiet for a moment and then continued. "After she died I wrote a report for Jack on what we had found. Some Agency unknown was taking children then returning them unharmed."

"Did any of the children who were taken followed up on? Did any disappear later?" Rhys asked.

Ianto shook his head. "Not from what we could tell."

"So was this some kind of prelude to a kind of takeover?"

"There was nothing special about the children except the age range. All of them could speak. To be truthful it didn't sound like someone planning an invasion. It could as easily be some future civilisation's homework project or some group of aliens trying to find out which three-year olds' favourite cartoon character is."

"God what must they think about The Wiggles then?" Rhys added.

"Or Barney," Ianto said. "Can you imagine human beings being judged if a three-year old likes Barney?"

"Barney, Oh god, that's a torture no one should endure. If they have any brains they will avoid us like the plague," Rhys laughed.

"It was just sheer luck that I was standing in just the right place when my mobile rang. I saw something out the corner of my eye. It had been bugging me all day. The whole situation felt so familiar, I just couldn't recall, and then as I was standing there it all came back. Bevan had been taken by the same phenomenon but had not been returned. So something had gone wrong and he was trapped. It didn't take me long to realise it was my phone that was triggering the fluctuation."

"So what was it about your phone then?"

"Two trackers. Jack had placed one on my phone the other in my backpack. The pair together were broadcasting on the same frequency Tosh had picked up. The rest was just fiddly trying to incorporate the trackers into the send mobile circuitry."

"So you sent yourself into the pod by mobile?" Ianto smiled. "I think I triggered the snatch function if nothing else."

"Bevan said he was in some kind of a ball."

"More egg-shaped. It had a smooth interior and I couldn't see any instrumentation or any panels. To be honest I don't really recall much after Bevan left."

Bevan returned and almost tripped over the edge of the rug. Ianto caught his hand and he stroked the mark on the back.

"He had that when he was born. Strawberry mark they call it," Rhys explained and Ianto showed him the back of his own right hand.

Rhys nodded his understanding."So no doubt he's yours."

Ianto shook his head and looked away to compose himself.

"Bananas! I want a banana, like bananas in pyjamas," Bevan sang as Rhys brought one out.

"Let me help you with that," Ianto offered and held it while Bevan took a big bite.

"I love bananas, big yellow bananas," he said with his mouth full." I am a banana monster."

"You should show Ianto how fast you can go."

"I am a racing car!" He ran off and went around the same tree he had seen the squirrel under earlier then came back. "I change gears just like daddy does in his truck. I can go fast just like a great big racing truck."

Rhys looked over to observe the same haunted look of longing on Ianto's face as he watched Bevan.

"And I go for rides with my daddy, he lets me push the hooter and it makes a big noise like this 'honk honk' and cars get out the way." Bevan sat down with a thump and picked up his can of soda and took a drink.

A bird hopped near and Ianto threw it a small piece of bread. It hopped closer.

"I bet that bird is hungry." Bevan threw the remainder of his sandwich towards him then dusted off his hands.

"So Manchester…" Rhys left the sentence hanging.

Ianto sighed. "Yes tomorrow. I'm being transferred."

"Second part of the trial. Rhia was telling me all about it. Something about you've had the cell markers now you just need the second lot of activators that will target the cancer cells."

"That's the theory."

"This could be it, Ianto."

"Not you too, Rhys."

"Look, it means a second chance. You might have months, maybe years. Think about it." Rhys took a breath. "As far as Bevan is concerned you have my full support if you wanted to take him. We could work something out."

Ianto stared into the distance for a while then began to speak. "My mum and dad had a very unhappy marriage and even unhappier divorce. Rhia and I spent years being pushed and pulled between them. They seemed to delight in running each other down. Or making us choose all the while piling on the guilt as to why we should love and choose them best. Rhia and I were pawns in some sort of war. We got forgotten in their games of one upmanship."

He took another breath. "I don't want that for Bevan. You said something that hit me yesterday. He has all these adults arguing about what's best for him. I know this is going to sound strange but as much as I hate what Jack and Gwen did I don't want him to suffer like I did having to choose who he loves best. I know what Jack did was wrong. He should have come to me and told me the truth. I still have to work out exactly how to deal with that. On the other hand maybe he realised what Bevan needed was a normal family and the nearest one he knew was you and Gwen. I'm not excusing them or condoning what they did. But look at him." Bevan took a sip of his drink then raced off again.

"There is so much here you are not telling me," Rhys pointed out as he watched Ianto swallow down clear emotion.

"He is the most beautiful little boy. I wish he was mine but he's not, Rhys."

"Is this you running away?"

Ianto closed his eyes. "No. I'm being honest with the man who will be…is his dad."

"What if..."

"Stop right there. I can't afford to live in world of 'what ifs', Rhys. I live in a world where I have to meet everyone's expectations of me no matter how painful. I have done my very hardest to meet all of those. I accept what you did was noble. I accept that you did this so Jack could take some happy snaps of me for Bevan to show him in later years. I love him. I care, but seeing him, it hurts." He paused to compose himself. "Now I've played this game for you, Rhys. I've sat here and done what you've asked just like I did for Rhia and everyone else over the past years."

"Sounds like you given up on any future."

"Future."Ianto laughed cynically. "The future I wanted," he pointed at Bevan, "the dream I had, the stupid fantasy that my lover loved me and one day might want to play the life domestic is never going to happen,"

"That sounds very bitter."

"Well, that's what three years of fighting for your life does for you, Rhys. You walk in on your lover, someone you suffered for and stood by and find out it was a lie. I have every right to be bitter. What astounds me is that I didn't think the pain could get any worse, but it did. A thousand times worse."

"So no chance for a happy ending Ianto?"

"A happy ending? The best ending I could have had was dying. No more pain, no more of having to put on a happy smile, pretending." Ianto stood and dusted himself off. "I can't, I can't do this anymore I refuse to torture myself…" Taking a final look at Bevan Ianto turned and headed back towards the hospital.

Rhys watched sadly until he disappeared from view. He started to pack things away when Jack sat down on the rug next him.

"Uncle Jack!" Bevan called and flew into his arms, knocking him backwards.

"My tiger." Bevan growled at Jack's words.

"That looked very intense," Jack added after a few moments as he sat up and Bevan sat between his crossed legs.

"If you want me to be honest I think Ianto desperately wants to be involved but he is in so much pain. Just the way he looks at him he never took his eyes off him for a few seconds...He feels he has nothing to offer. I'm hoping that if he gets through the trial we can work something out."

"It's very important that he does...Finish the trail," Jack added"

"If I was to be honest I don't think Ianto is going to go through with second part of the trial."

Jack looked sharply at Rhys. "It's vital he has the second part. Ianto is on the trial as a last resort but from what Martha has told me this is not just chemotherapy. The first part marks the cancerous cells. The second phase introduces another kind of adapted cell only this one acts like a seek and kill missile. It neutralises all the marked cells. They have this protein..." Jack started to explain the more technical aspects. "The first part is rough, very rough as the body adjusts and the cancer cells are marked. The second part takes longer, then there's a third element its complicated, but the results are promising. If it works then Ianto might get a few more months, years even."

Rhys put all the rubbish into a supermarket bag "That's as maybe but this is a man worn out wanting his life to end. I think he's bloody angry, hurt, and he wants to die. He as much admitted it." Jack looked serious.

"I tell you; on one thing Ianto was more right than he knows."

Jack asked for an explanation and he explained what Ianto had told him about his past.

"Poor bloody Bevan, the kid needs some consistency in his life. God knows he's been pulled pillar to post." Jack looked confused. "What I'm saying is the kid needs some stability."

"Sorry?"

"Don't give me that look. He's two weeks old and you turn up blubbing all over him. You hand everything over telling us you can't cope because he reminds you of Steven. You need space and you leave. The very next day you turn back up and tell us you've changed your mind, take everything back then disappear to God knows where. Ten months later you turn up and hand him over without a word of explanation. Then to make things even more confusing two days later you're back saying how you can't cope and you take off again this time leaving Earth and we don't see you for years. All I'm saying is make up your bloody mind."

"Yeah I have been a bit all over the place," Jack said slowly taking in what Rhys was saying.

"No shit. Just choose a course of action and then keep to it. That's all I'm asking."

"Thank you, I will," Jack muttered under his breath still deep in thought.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Warning Suicide.** Do not read this if you are triggered by suicide or suicidal thoughts.

**Seven**

* * *

Nancy flicked her hand to ease the ache in her wrist as she wrote a long note on the file in front of her. She heard a soft knock on her office door and looked up.

"Ianto," she called out in delight. Standing she gave him a gentle hug. "When did you get here?"

"Just arrived."

"You are a sight for sore eyes." She picked up the phone. "I'll just call up to let them know you're here. Everything is set to go."

Ianto put his hand on the phone. "I'm not going up." His eyes begged her to understand.

"You had better sit down and tell me what's going on." Nancy placed the phone back into the cradle. She quickly closed the door and Ianto took the chair beside her desk.

"I'm going home."

"Home as is home to Cardiff? Or just home?" Knowing he always needed time to order his thoughts Nancy sat back, as he struggled to speak.

After several moments he took her hand. "I'm going home. I don't want a big fuss. I just want this over."

Nancy pulled herself closer and took his other hand in hers.. "It's been a tough couple of weeks, Ianto. I know you probably heard this but this could be it. Second part of the trial it will be over in four days. Then drug therapy. If not for yourself, then for those that will follow, people who are battling with this. The information from the trial will be invaluable to finding a cure."

Ianto pulled back. "I've had this battle going on inside me over the past days. Everyone wants me to keep going. But I have to consider this with what happened. Every single person I counted on deliberately overruled the only instruction I left. They removed my DNR bracelet then argued with the hospital over their rights to keep me alive. My sister convinced them that the disease had caused me to become morbid. My sister assured the staff that once I had come to I would agree with her. Once I was conscious and able to communicate she was so happy I couldn't be angry with her. Rhia made the decision she did because she doesn't want to lose me. She saw it as some kind of miracle from which all good things would follow. To complete the farce a psychiatrist turned up and gave me a bedside consult. After I blasted him he told me that I was bound to feel worn out and depressed."

"I would like to have been a fly on that wall!"

"He said my anger was an indication that I wasn't in my right mind when I made those decisions. Anyone with this much anger still had enough fight to live. Then he offered me anti-depressants and counselling. I 'm fucking dying; I'm fucking allowed to be fucking depressed. I 'm angry because every instruction I put into place was ignored."

"I read his notes," she said, displeasure lacing her voice.

"The reality is I can't trust that if I crash here that I won't be forced on to life support." Nancy handed him a box of tissues. "I had to lie there being forced to breathe. It was agony, tubes and wires everywhere." Ianto blushed. "And I mean everywhere. My privacy and dignity were ignored because my sister doesn't want to say goodbye." He blew his nose. "It was the realisation of my worst nightmare and I can't risk even the slightest possibility of it happening again."

"What if we make an agreement, you me, the staff, Marcus; we make sure that if you crash that you are a true DNR."

Ianto took a long moment to think then shook his head. "I can't do this any longer Nancy."

Nancy recognised the look of defeat in his eyes. She had seen it so many times before. It was someone whose endurance was at an end. Ianto had endured the worst, she had seen him transformed from someone in robust stature to the frail shadow of the man he was now. He had been running on sheer will power for months, and had no reserves left. She understood his need to retain his dignity and control even if it meant…"We talked about this moment. There's a great hospice..."

"No more hand wringing or people taking over."

Nancy became serious. "Ianto you must not tell me anymore."

Ianto nodded as he understood her caution. "I wanted to thank you." Standing, Ianto swayed and she caught him and pulled him into a hug.

"You don't have to thank me, Ianto."

"You've been my rock. You've kept me grounded. I ate because you growled at me. Badgered to make me keep appointments, kept me going, gave me hope when I none. Given me wonderful advice. You're the best. I can't even begin to tell how much of a difference you made. You're the closet person I've have who's been a true friend."

"I'm going to miss you," she said.

"I know," he said gently as he now pulled away and moved slowly towards the door.

She pulled some tissues to wipe her eyes, when she looked up he was gone. Sitting, she allowed the tears to flow then she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "Good for you, Ianto," she said under her breath and picked up the next file.

* * *

Ianto turned the key in the lock of his flat. Pushing the door open he stepped inside.

Someone had tidied up and all of Leon's stuff appeared to be gone. Using the door frame to steady himself he pushed himself into the room. Reaching the middle he used the back of the sofa to hold himself up. In fact it looked like the place had been attacked by a wandering band of desperate cleaners. He took five steps and made it to the kitchen bench. The place was immaculate. He pulled open an overhead cupboard door. Everything was back in place.

Something caught his eye on the bench and held up the mug. He could have sworn this had been broken. He examined it more carefully and saw it had been put back together. With great care he placed it back down.

Opening the fridge he saw it was full of several cartons of his favourite mixes of juice along with several bottles of every flavour of the sports drink he liked.

What he wouldn't do for a single cup of strong coffee. He looked at the coffee machine. The last cup he had managed to keep down had been weeks ago, before his body had rejected all the delights of coffee causing him to become a herbal tea drinker. He smiled. Who would have thought it? Ianto Jones drinking of camomile tea. He imagined Owen's reaction and Tosh's look of bemusement.

_"If you're drinking that shit you really must be dying," _he heard Owen's admonishment ring in his ear.

_"You know we Japanese take tea very seriously. It has all sorts of properties."_

_"Throw some sake in there and it might just be drinkable." _

_"Owen!"_

"Why not?" Ianto said to the voices and opened the cupboard where he stored his coffee supplies.

Leaving the kitchen and the coffee machine to work its magic Ianto moved to the sofa and pushed. He found himself on his knees as a wave of disorientation hit.

"Bugger," he heard himself say. Pulling himself up he took a moment to catch his breath. Then using all his strength he pushed back the sofa.

Taking the box he had retrieved from the safe he retreated to his bedroom. Again he was struck by the sheer tidiness of the place. Last time he had been there every possession he had had been tossed about like nothing. Now the place was so tidy, he sniffed, and so clean even he approved.

Opening the box he began to lay out the contents on the bed. First an IV bag of saline pilfered from the hospital. A vial marked 'Sodium thiopental'; this he hoped would cause cardiac arrest. It was for animals but hopefully it would work. Now he took out a more regular pill bottle of long-acting and powerful barbiturates which along with the sodium thiopental had come at a high price on the black market. Next to these he laid out a smaller glass bottle, a syringe, a large clear plastic bag and a very wide elastic band. From his rehearsal he knew that with effort it would just go over his head.

First things first. He opened the wardrobe door and took out an IV stand. When he had been preparing for this he had been amazed how much medical equipment you could buy over the internet. You could equip a whole hospital, with a click of the mouse.

He mentally went over each step. First, set up the IV, empty 99% out, add the sodium thiopental. Take the first set of medication to prevent himself from throwing up the barbiturates; he counted out ten. Then take the barbiturates.

He felt so at peace, it was overwhelming and the room spun slightly. He double-checked; he had all the bases covered. If his heart didn't stop the barbiturates would do the job. If that failed he would suffocate but be out cold.

Okay, this was it. He went back into the lounge and took out several envelopes with names on them and placed them on the table. He also left a disc he had made where he explained the where and how he had managed to get hold of each tool he used to kill himself. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to be blamed for getting hold of the drugs.

He heard the coffee machine complete its function. Pouring out a cup he took a deep sniff of the rich aroma. If there was a heaven it would have coffee this good. He took sip, followed by another and allowed the fragrance and taste to evade his senses.

Entering the bedroom he checked he had everything in order. First IV; he took it and headed to the bathroom. He was half way to emptying it when he became aware of a persistent banging so loud it sounded like someone was trying to come through the front door. Cursing he placed the IV bag in the sink, and then closed his bedroom door.

He opened the door to see Jack, looking like all the blood had drained form his face and he pushed his way in.

"Jack," Ianto growled in exasperation.

"I know what you are doing."

"If you don't leave I will call the police."

"Yeah and I tell them what you're doing?"

"And what would that be?"

"Ianto, I'm not here to play games."

"Why do you suddenly care?"

"I can't let you die."

"Out," Ianto ground his teeth and pointed at the open door.

"I know right now you feel that this is your only option but it's not." Jack moved towards the door. There was a slight scuffle but the door closed. "I'm not blind, Ianto. You're angry, hurt, and desperately ill and I don't need anyone to tell me that saving your life was one hundred percent against your wishes. I took off the bracelet. I filled you with life energy. Not just at the scene but in the hospital."

Ianto looked at Jack in disgust. "Let's make no mistake, you are not here for me. The only person you are here is for yourself."

"I've hurt you, and you are rightly angry; furious, but this is not the answer."

"You don't get to decide that. Three years, Jack. I've done what everyone else has wanted. I've done my best now it's over. No more."

"Please, Ianto let me help. The second part of the trial only lasts four days." Ianto shook his head. "I help you through this; use my life force to ease the symptoms..."

"I don't want you anywhere near me, Jack. This is my escape. I will be free of this life and you. I will finally get some peace."

"So you're killing yourself to get away from me. Is that what this is about?"

Ianto shook his head and laughed cynically. "You don't get it. You never got it."

"What didn't I get?"

"The fact that you have to ask that question means you never understood…"

"Tell me then, tell me what I didn't see or understand."

"You want the truth. I'll tell you. Because today I am finally get to be free of this shit. The reason I refused to see you is because I'm vulnerable around you. When I saw you with her the spark I had inside died. But I knew if I saw you, you would beg and make promises, wear me down because let's face it Jack, you are ruthless when you want to get your own way. And I knew I would take you back regardless of how much pain you had caused me because.."

"You loved me," Jack finished the sentence

"Don't say those words. I know they mean nothing to you in regards to me. I knew if I saw you I would have to tell you about this. I knew one of any number of scenarios might happen. First you would take off, leave me to face this on my own. The Doctor would turn up or some crisis would eventuate and I would be put aside. Or you would stay with me but you wouldn't be by my side out of love, but out of guilt. That every word, every gesture would be a lie. And behind my back you would be fucking her or someone else while you went through the motions."

"Ianto, you have someone to live for," Jack said quietly.

"A future where I get to stand by and watch the child who is the fulfilment of my deepest desires and hopes being brought up by another man. Knowing I will never truly be a part of his life. Facing the reality that I was deemed so unworthy I wasn't even considered as a last resort. Knowing that every time I have to say goodbye he is going back to her. "

"We could work something out. Rhys is willing and so am I. It wouldn't be easy but it's possible." Jack stopped midsentence as he saw Ianto's eyes wild with grief.

"Can I ask you what it was she had and I didn't? What was it about me that led you do what you did? Over the years I tried to work out what I did wrong. Was I not loyal enough, caring, loving?"

"Nothing you did warranted my treatment of you. I was caught in …I did everything I could to push you away. A part of me kept pushing the boundaries of what you would do to reject me."

"So you punished me with her. She got all the sweet nothings and tender moments and I got all the shit. Facing this on my own was my reward Jack for loving you. You selfish, self- absorbed bastard," Ianto burst out. "Not only did I have to compete with the ghosts of all your past lovers I had to deal with her. Do you know how dirty you made me feel; how used? How many others were there ? Who else did you fuck behind my back? Or was this payback for Lisa?"

"No never, that was long past. You were enough; there is so much to try and explain. I did love you. I was so fucked up. Fucked in the head. I should have gotten help a lot sooner than I did. It wasn't until you walked out that I realised just how out of control I was. I did the unforgivable. I fucked her and it was nothing but a symptom…"

Ianto started shaking his head. "See Jack? See what you are doing to me? Can't you see all I want to do is die?"

"But this trial could be it. I've been speaking to Martha and I've read the findings. You could have months, years. A second chance…"

"Second chance at spending hours vomiting my guts up. Shitting blood. Being in pain, knowing that the one person I trusted to be there for me had so little respect for me he couldn't honour the only boundary I ever placed on him. Knowing the future I wanted, dreamt of can never be because it's being acted out by others in my place. A little boy who is nothing but a reminder of the future I lost." Ianto hitched himself up. "And do you know what is really sick? All through this all I wanted was you." He pointed at Jack. "You by my side. You holding my hand. You holding me in your arms telling me everything was going to be alright. I hate you Jack Harkness, I hate you for making me want you so much."

"Ianto please," Jack reached out but Ianto pushed his hand away.

"Now this is over. My pain and endurance for this farce is over."

Jack moved towards the door but instead of reaching for the handle he slapped his open hand onto Ianto's upper arm.

Ianto felt a sharp pain and he looked at Jack in horror. "What have you done?"

"You can't die, Ianto."

"Jack don't …" Ianto pitched forward and Jack caught him.

Cradling him in his arms he slumped to the floor. Rocking Ianto, he kissed his forehead. He took several long moments filling him with his life force, topping up that which had dissipated.

After the eighth breath a beep caught his attention. Jack opened the cover of his vortex manipulator and keyed in a code. The room filled with purple energy.

"Geesh, what happened to Eye Candy?" John Hart said as he lifted Ianto into the recovery position.

"He's been on the road to hell but hopefully the journey back will be less traumatic," Jack said, now standing. "Is everything ready?"

John Hart nodded as Jack disappeared, searching the flat. He returned a few moments later with a box filled with all the medication and equipment Ianto had gathered. He quickly checked the kitchen and turned off the coffee machine.

Let's get moving," Jack said as now both knelt by Ianto. John keyed in a sequence on his vortex manipulator. Together they placed both their hands on his back, as a purple haze surrounded them. Once it cleared the room was empty.

* * *

Waking was like walking down a long corridor filled with a series of unfolding doors. Each door led to more doors. As Ianto passed through each one a sensation returned. He felt lighter, as if some great weight he hadn't known had been oppressing him had gone. Another door, a soothing whisper washed over him in gentle waves. A new door, this time he felt cradled and he enjoyed the gentle sensation of being rocked back and forth in time with the hush of the waves. It was strange how the sound caressed his body. Sound and touch, now he became aware that the sensation was a light breeze filled with a delicate scent. He took a deep breath and he found himself transported to a lush garden, filled with flowers.

Brightness flashed across his eyes and he opened them. He blinked then closed them again. He yawned and opened his eyes more slowly; this time he felt groggy, like he had slept for days. A flicker caught his attention and he saw it was a curtain caught in a soft breeze. He stretched and yawned and closed his eyes again.

The curtain flicked itself at him again. Opening his eyes this time he followed its path with his gaze. It floated back as the breeze dropped. He sat up. This was not his bedroom.

The window was not a window but double doors. He looked around. He was in a double bed, and all the furniture looked like it could be bamboo...well it was yellow and knobbly like bamboo, and the words 'cane furniture' came into his mind. The curtain flicked again and he stood up. He sat down just as quickly as the room took a turn around himself. Once the room had stopped spinning he tried again

He used the frame of the double doors to steady himself as his eyes followed the contour of the landscape. Through the lush vegetation he could just make out what he thought was the sea. Well, it was blue and explained the sound of waves he thought he had heard. A noise startled him and several small creatures flew past him amongst the tree tops, engaged in some sort of pursuit. They turned and headed back towards him, and he could see they resembled monkeys. He looked again. _'More squirrel than monkey...monkey squirrels_.' One took off and glided to a tree some distance off. _'Flying blue monkey squirrels then.' _

He looked down, and saw he was dressed in light cotton clothing. '_Well that was in keeping with the tropical theme,' _he told himself.

Rubbing his hand over his face he padded into the next room which appeared to be a kitchen-come-lounge. The kitchen was compact and off to one side. The lounge was complete with a worn comfy sofa and side chairs, all in the same fashion as the bedroom. They all faced the view exposed by more double doors. This set was folded back. The fridge caught his attention, and he opened it. He noted the cartons were in some language he didn't know but the pictures were self-evident; it was a mix of juice boxes and cartons of juice. He closed the door and continued to explore.

He came to a dead stop on the right side as there was a wall. Strange, there should have been a door. _'Why have a short corridor but no door?'_ He turned and, using the wall to steady himself, he made his way to the left side. This door led to a bathroom, toilet, vanity, bath, and shower. Opening the vanity he saw it was filled with his wash gear. He used the sink to hold himself up and looked into the mirror. So he had a reflection. '_Why if I am dead do I need wash gear and have a reflection?' _Ianto asked himself.

Strange, he felt thirsty. He padded back into the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator. Taking one of the juice boxes he pulled off the straw and pierced the seal, and took a long sip. It was not too sweet or tart. He looked at the object in his hand.

"If this was the afterlife why is there juice?" he spoke out loud for the first time.

He walked onto the decking. He saw a swing and sat down and contemplated the enigma of juice box in his hand.

He used his feet to begin rocking as he took another drink. What was the last thing he recalled? Hospital, saying goodbye to Nancy, the taxi ride, home. Getting things together...he tried to concentrate.

He recalled confronting Jack and telling him a few home truths. Then Jack had held him and told him he loved him. Ianto snorted. Well, that never happened. The one thing he knew for sure was that Jack did not love him.

He went back: hospital, saying goodbye to Nancy, the taxi ride, home. Yes, he had arrived home, and had decided to make himself a coffee. Owen and Tosh had both been there. He had opened the safe and laid out what he needed. _'No Owen and Tosh were not there,' _he told himself even if he recalled the conversation.

His attention was broken as another argument appeared to break out amongst the small creatures he had seen earlier. He watched bemused as with ease they leapt across branches, launching themselves all the while telling each other off.

He pushed himself off again. Anger...he recalled being furious with Jack. Nothing new there. He went through the sequence of events again and took another sip.

Voices. He was sure he had heard John Hart and Martha. Conversations and a lot of arguing and shouting, mostly at Jack. He smiled; there's a dream. And what the hell was John Hart doing in his recollections? Weird. Medical, it was all medical. He wasn't sure if he was recalling his recent stay or something new. It was like he was viewing his life on DVD, things happened in fast or slow motion with entire sequences skipped over.

This had to be the afterlife, he reasoned. Firstly, it was beautiful. He looked down at his hand, at the juice. So if this was death why was there no tall figure in black holding a scythe speaking in capitals "YES YOU ARE DEAD"?

_'Well you can't have everything,_' he told himself. However this did not change the fact that he was in some kind of tropical, but noisy, paradise and there was juice. The cold made his hand ache. He looked at his hand more closely. He saw the now familiar sticking plaster and another question came to him. "_Why, if I'm dead, did I have a sticking plaster on the back of my hand?_' It was blue, where before it had been skin-coloured. He pulled at a bracelet he also found around his right wrist. Squinting he examined the clear band. It had no discernible markings whatsoever. He added it his mental list of things that made no sense.

This was beyond strange. He needed answers. He finished his juice. He was still thirsty. He padded back, opened the fridge door, and took another, bigger juice box.

Taking it he looked out over the vista and made a decision. Using the handrail he went down the steps, made his way down, and followed the path.

His presence seemed to upset several of the locals. One, a small red bird, hopped onto a branch near him and called out a warning which was echoed as he made his way slowly along. He was about half way down when a bright gaudy flower caught his attention. He went to pick it and stopped himself and instead took a sniff. "This must be heaven," he said out loud then continued down the path.

Reaching the end he pushed aside the undergrowth and found himself on a white sand beach. He cupped his eyes to see better against the glare. He could see waves topping over a reef. Beyond that was nothing; he strained to see further into the distance but there was only sea for as far as he could make out. He scanned the horizon. There was sea in every direction. Turning he looked back up the way he had come. He could make out elements of the house through the vegetation.

Making his way to the water, he saw the waves that had topped the reef were now nothing more than gentle ripples. A wave washed over his feet. He looked left and right and the beach appeared to curve. He looked up; no jet trials just fluffy white puffy clouds.

He looked down the beach again and saw what looked like a shape. He squinted; yes it was a person sort of shape.

He opened his juice and took a sip. Maybe if he made his way down the beach he might find it was a person. If there was a person they could tell him why, if he was dead, he had a reflection. And there was juice. Taking another sip he made his move.

Jack watched as Ianto reached the beach. He knew he was on his way down by the sounds of the birds who had announced his presence the entire length of the path. There had been a lot of debate on how to deal with what happened after Ianto came back into full consciousness. Letting him explore had been the winner, giving him a gentle introduction to the place that was going to be his home for some time to come.

"So you found the beach?" Jack stated the obvious as Ianto came closer.

Ianto looked confused. "Jack, why are you here in my afterlife?"

"Ianto you are not dead."

"I have a reflection and there's juice." Ianto held out the juice as evidence then sat down with a thump.

After a short time one of the small creatures he had seen earlier leaned down from an overhanging frond and tried to snatch the juice carton.

"Don't let them take that, they will just fight over it," Jack warned him.

Ianto straightened up with a start and looked at Jack. The creature took its chance, snatched the juice box from Ianto's hand and took off sounding its triumph.

"I warned you. Now they there will be a major kerfuffle." A fight broke out as the creatures took off.

"Jack you didn't answer my question. Why are you in my afterlife?"

"You are not dead."

"Vision dream, then?"

Jack went and knelt next to him. "Ianto, this is not a dream or vision of the afterlife. This place is a real. Soon very soon you will remember. You are going to be very angry with me but right now I want you know that I love you."

Ianto shook his head. "Now I know this is not real. Jack never loved me." He took Jack's hand. "You are confused. I loved him very much, and I thought that one day Jack might love me back." He saw this Jack was getting upset. "You see he's from the future, and Jack hated being in the past. The one thing he hated above all else was 21st century values around love."

"He was wrong, Ianto."

"And he loved someone else, someone who I think he really wanted a life with. So he covered his feelings up by saying how much he didn't want to be trapped because he couldn't have her."

"Ianto, he was damaged. His heart, his very soul, was broken. He didn't realise just how much until he destroyed the one person who loved him."

Ianto felt something react within himself . And he looked at Jack.

"Look I was many things: a container for sperm, a happenstance, someone Jack could take all his frustration and anger out on, a convenience..."

Jack interrupted, "Never, Ianto."

"Listen, this is a very strange conversation and I've lost my juice."

"There's more juice up at the house." Jack pulled Ianto to his feet.

"It has strange writing on it."

"It's called super juice."

Ianto leaned on him. "Super juice." A look of comprehension grew on Ianto's face. "Heavenly super juice."

Jack stifled a smile. Better enjoy this now because any moment now Ianto would finally break the trance he had been placed in and all hell was going to break lose.

"It's nice, soothing," he added after a few steps. "Cold delicious juice. My next question...my next question is, why super juice?"

"Because it's super," Jack replied simply.

"Super-duper," Ianto replied. "Why do I have a reflection then?" Ianto stopped.

"You're not a vampire, Ianto, just alive."

"Thank god for that." He started moving again. "I mean about being a vampire."

A few steps later Ianto looked down at his hand and showed it to Jack, pointing at the plaster. "Why is this blue, when it was beige?"

"The box only had blue plasters in it," Jack explained.

"And this?" Ianto pointed to the bracelet.

"That's more difficult to explain. It's complicated and you need to wear it, it's why you are feeling a lot better and why I'm feeling very queasy." Jack showed Ianto his own wrist.

"I see." Ianto looked confused.

"It's not important. What's important is you're here, and alive."

Ianto took Jack's arm and they made their way back down the beach. "Can you grant wishes?" Ianto suddenly asked.

Jack shook his head.

"I have three wishes…" Ianto stated

"Only three." Jack questioned.

"Three," Ianto repeated, "because that's the normal amount of wishes one is allowed."

"I see well tell me and I will see what I can do," Jack offered.

"First wish." Ianto declared. "I have a son. I want him to be happy. A happy life with fulfilment in whatever he does. Happiness, laughter love, and fulfilment."

"Would you like to part of his life?"

Ianto sighed "Not without making him and everyone around him miserable. That's not fair, he has a mum and a dad. Even if I hate who his mother is. Bevan loves her. To him she's he's mother and I would a bloody horrible human being to take them away from each other. What's done is done."

"And the second" Jack nudged after they had taken several steps.

"It's too silly"

"Try me,"

Ianto turned to the Jack and kissed him very gently. " I wish the person I loved had loved me back. It's hard loving someone when they don't share the same feelings. I give and give that's the trouble I'm a fool in love," Ianto closed his eyes "I wish, I wish, he could have loved me…see it didn't work I still invisible"

"I think I can join you as a fool; a blind fool," Jack rubbed Ianto's hand.

Ianto suddenly jerked his hand away as if he had been burnt.

Jack saw comprehension cross Ianto's eyes and stepped back. "What the hell have you done?" Ianto screamed at him.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Eight**

* * *

A wave of memories flooded through Ianto as the events of the last day rolled over him, including the confrontation in his flat and Jack drugging him. The rest was a blur but it was enough.

"You win, Jack." Ianto pushed past him and started to take slow steps towards the house.

Jack followed at a respectable distance behind. Ianto stopped and turned, went to speak thought better of it, then continued up the path towards the house.

Reaching the steps Ianto paused to gather his strength then pulled himself up the rails. At the top he sat down heavily in the swing chair. Several times he put his head in his hands. Eventually he sat back looking at the roof of the veranda and began to speak.

"After my second round of chemo and I didn't go into remission I came to an understanding that I was going to die. I realised I wasn't frightened of dying. What I was scared of was how I was going to die. In that moment I found this inner peace that made it possible for me to continue. I wasn't going to be subjected this illness anymore. It might melt away my health and stamina but I knew when the time came, it would be my hand that ended my life. Everything else I've had has been stripped from me. I'm not talking about dreams of the future, I mean being able to eat, take a walk, a shag, go out with friends, drink a beer, coffee." He looked at Jack. "Why have you taken the only fragment of dignity I had left?"

"Ianto, you have every right to feel bewildered, angry and lost."

"Of course I'm fucking bewildered and angry. You've taken everything Jack: my affection for you, and my son. You never even gave me a choice, you just handed him over to someone else. I don't understand why you can hate me so much that you want me to keep suffering. Are you going to keep me here while I fade away out of some kind of obsessive pathological need? Because from where I'm sitting Jack this is not just sick, it's cruel."

"Ianto there is so much to fix. It can't happen if you're dead."

"That's not for you to decide. Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I've had to suffer for mine," Ianto pointed out bitterly.

"I had a run in with your sister at the hospital. She has mean right hook, especially with a handbag. To cut a long story short she asked me why you had to suffer for my mistakes. She's right. I've done you more than one wrong, and I'm trying to do something right for once."

"Is kidnapping me, keeping me prisoner, forcing me to accept your view of the world, doing something right? What about my right to be in control of my life? Or being able to end it with a modicum of dignity?"

"What about your chance to go into remission, having a life, connecting with your son? Maybe throw in some happiness along the way? A new start?" Jack argued.

Ianto remained silent for a long time. Eventually he let out a deep sigh. "I was lucky that one person loved me with all their heart. It was sad that it didn't last, but she and I were genuinely happy. As I look back now it was the happiest time in my life. Lisa loved me and I loved her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. If I had a wish Jack it would be that you put a bullet through my brain when it all went to hell, you would have saved me a great deal of pain."

"Living is hard…"

"Don't give me that immortal shit, Jack. You chose to make living hard. I sometimes wondered if you punished those around you because they were mortal, to create your own victim mentality."

"I don't regret saving your life after what happened with Lisa. You did what you did out of love."

"That's my problem, Jack. I lose myself sort of tunnel vision. At least with Lisa my love was returned. You just used me to get what you wanted and when my usefulness ended instead acting like a man and telling me to my face you set me up. Well, your sleeping with her had the effect it intended. You proved that my fidelity, loyalty, and love were an expendable commodity to be thrown away without a second thought." Jack looked Ianto directly.

"I hear you and I am not going to defend myself."

"No, because whatever you do has more value and for more importance than what I want. It always has, you always have to come bloody first. This is not about me; it's about you trying to make yourself feel better at my expense. I'm not some toy you can break, discard, and then decide you want to continue playing so now you want put the pieces back together." Ianto pointed at himself. "I'm not an inanimate object. I'm a real human being with feelings, wants, and desires and you've reduced me to a nothing."

"That's not my intention," Jack pointed out.

"You proved whatever Jack wants, he gets. You've done it again. Ten out of ten for demonstrating what a complete bastard you are. You've kidnapped an ex-lover and acted against his will." Ianto looked at him, bewildered "I don't understand, Jack. You went out of your way to kill all and any affection I had for you, in words and deeds. I walk out; I don't see hair or hide of you for years. Now this… I find myself a prisoner of the very same man who…" Ianto shook his head. "So bewildered and angry doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. Try sickened and horrified, along with being assaulted because let's make no mistake you forced whatever you did on me. God, this is giving me a headache."

Jack looked concerned left and returned with a glass of juice, which Ianto took.

Ianto drained the glass and looked at Jack. "Well, let's hear it." he said wearily.

"You've been here eight days."

"And what the hell did you do to me?"

"No special treatments or cures. All you had was the second part of the trial."

"And what did you do to me to get me to co-operate?"

"It was a drug Martha sourced, it makes people highly suggestible. Basically they follow instructions, and don't question," Jack said hoping Ianto wouldn't dig to deep. It was an experimental drug UNIT had been developing as an alternative to torture.

"So you drugged me?" Jack nodded. Ianto held up his wrist exposing the bracelet. "And what the fuck is this?"

"It's a health monitor." Jack held up his own arm and showed him its twin around his own wrist. "It's linked to my vortex manipulator. It allows Martha to keep an eye on how you're doing," Jack lied.

"Where the hell is here?"

"There are two here's."

"Jack I about to explode on a hair trigger just tell me the fucking truth."

"Here is 'Vomex Eta Mu'. Seventeen years in the future. This island belongs to John Hart." Ianto raised his eyebrows in surprise. "He won it in a card game fair and square, but the loser decided to challenge him to a duel. Now he's a double loser."

"So I have no way home. I'm trapped." Ianto held up his wrist again. "No doubt this is a tracker." He scowled when Jack didn't reply, confirming his worst suspicions.

"John offered, and he owes me. And I figured if I was going to take you somewhere you needed to do some healing and gain some perspective it might as well be somewhere nice." Jack attempted a fake smile. "Martha administered the second cell line."

"That I figured," Ianto snapped.

"And I gave you more of my life force."

Ianto leaned forward. "This is what I don't understand Jack."

"Ianto, the only thing that kept you alive was my life force, in the garden and in the hospital. It was a tiny ember and I just blew on it and kept doing so until your own body gathered some reserves."

"But why, Jack?"

"You shouldn't have to pay for my sins any longer." Jack came close and knelt before him. "I'm not going to argue with you because you are right. I did this out of purely selfish reasons and because this tragedy shouldn't end with you losing your life. It is not my intention that you should suffer so I will make you a promise."

"Don't make any promises Jack, because I know from bitter experience that your words mean nothing where I am concerned."

"Well I'm making it anyway. If you don't go into remission I will help you end your life." Jack took a breath and stood. "So we understand each other I will make this even clearer. You are I have a lot to fix. You've been beyond ill. You need time for the second part of the trial to do its work. You also need a break from the daily grind of having to deal with this on your own. Secondly, I don't care if you spend the rest of your life hating my guts. You can curse me for all eternity for all I care. Once this is over you can choose never speak to me again. I am doing all this because you deserve a second chance. There are no strings attached, no favours I'm going to ask or come backs or hidden motives. You're right, Ianto. I threw away what you gave me and I will regret that the rest of my life. I am trying my hardest to undo some of my stupidity." Ianto glared at him. "And finally stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself and take the gift for what it is."

Ianto pulled himself to standing. He turned, entered his bedroom, and slammed the door shut. Jack watched through the panes of glass in the door as Ianto threw himself on the bed and pulled the light blanket over himself.

Jack let out a breath and headed to the kitchen to tidy up._  
_

* * *

A shriek woke Ianto up. He shivered in the early morning cool and pulled the light blanket over his shoulders. Opening his eyes they gravitated to the same spot on the wall as they had the past three days. He was trapped. Even if he could get off the island, which he doubted, where would be go from there?

Jack was being, well Jack: bloody-minded, enigmatic and mysterious as per normal. Even more confusing, he was being attentive as if he really cared. Any indication of discomfort and he was there, hovering. Ianto turned over, and stared at the other spot on the wall. What price a man's life; his freedom, for a start?

As prisons went it was lovely, if a little worn. Apparently the island was on some sort of holiday planet at the lower end of the market._' The really upmarket places were in some other,far more prestigious quadrant of the galaxy. The whole fucking universe had gone to hell if there was no escaping 'time shares._'

He turned on his back made another attempt to remove the bracelet. Pulling on it for several seconds, he then gave up. Bloody thing, it was indestructible. Nothing and he meant nothing he could find could remove it. It was too snug and, short of cutting his hand off, could it be removed; not soap, oil or any force could budge the bloody thing. All his efforts, and not one scratch, he grumbled. His stomach churned with resentment. Fuck Jack, fuck the whole fucking universe.

The screamers started up again. Little bastards...he hated them. All they did was fight. It was like they were consumed with jealousy; if even the hint that one of them has something better than the others all hell broke loose. And all hell seemed to break loose all fucking day. Noisy irritating little fuckers. The argument faded as the creatures moved towards the beach and he let an audible sigh of relief and closed his eyes and shifted back onto his side to get comfortable.

He heard a cry. _'Bloody__ screamers__.__'_ Sounded like one of them was in the house.

Moments passed and he heard it again. _'Where are you, Jack?__'_ Ianto grumbled into his pillow.

He heard the cry again, more persistent this time. It was no good. He was awake. He needed a pee, and something to drink.

He swung his legs out. Some sand had blown in and it crunched under foot. Scratching his head he blearily headed towards the bathroom.

After relieving himself he scanned the main living area which included the kitchen to see if he could work out the source of the cry. Nothing. Moments later he pulled open the fridge and looked through the cartons. The only good thing about this place was it overflowing with juice; cupboards, and boxes of the bloody stuff, which was lucky because he couldn't stop chugging it down.

He heard the cry again. _"Yep,_ _one of the little bastards was in the house."_ Drinking from the contents of the carton he drained it to the dregs then wiped his hand across his mouth and threw the spent carton into the sink. Right, he was ready to go do battle and he relished the idea of taking his belligerence out on something.

After belching he narrowed the cry down to behind the sofa. He armed himself with the broom. He moved forward cautiously and looked around the back.

On the floor was an oval basket with carry handles. It made a sort of squawk and there was movement from a lump under a yellow blanket. He bent down and carefully flicked the blanket off.

Ianto stood transfixed, not sure how to react. He stepped back and the baby jerked at the vibration of his moment and began to cry with more vigour, throwing its legs out.

He raced out the veranda. "Jack!" the local wildlife sent up a raucous shout in reply. "Jack! Jaaaack there's a baby..." His next words were interrupted as the baby began to wail.

Standing by the Moses basket Ianto looked at the clearly distressed infant. _'What the hell was he supposed to do?' _ He had only held a baby once, and only for a couple of hours if that. Mica was all warm and wiggly, and had yawned and fallen asleep. He knew exactly what to do with older children when they were moving and talking, but a baby?

He tried to recall all or any information he knew about babies. He went over it twice, nothing he knew absolutely nothing doubled. The baby's distress hitched up a notch.

He knelt and gently patted the baby on the back. That sort of worked and it calmed down for a moment then became even more distressed. Ianto panicked. He would have to pick it up but how the hell did you pick up a baby?They were so delicate and he didn't want to hurt practiced the movement then he slid one hand behind the baby's head supporting it and the other under the bottom end.

With measured careful movements he stood, holding baby in front of him. _'Okay what now?' _The baby started crying again. He returned to the veranda.

"JAAACK," he screamed out. The baby threw its arms out, paused then exploded with misery.

"Oh shit!" Ianto stepped back inside. He stopped, turned, took another step, stopped and turned again, what should he do? The baby was screaming its lungs out. Startled beyond measure by his actions, he was making this worse. He tried to calm himself. How had he held Mica? Gently he placed the head in the crook of his elbow and moved the body along his forearm. He jiggled up and down and the baby became mildly calmer.

_'Now __what do I__ do now __I've__ figured a more secure way to move about?__'_Ianto thought as he observed the baby moving its head towards him open-mouthed as if reaching for something. After a few open-mouthed motions the baby began to cry again.

He walked to the veranda again and scanned the landscape. _'Where the hell was Jack?'_

Now the baby was crying so hard its bottom lip was wobbling. Ianto moved back to the basket and saw a large canvas shopping bag. Using one hand he pulled it to the front of the sofa and tipped out the contents onto the floor.

There was a strange soft box with a zip around the top, several somethings he figured were nappies, a box of what he recognised as baby wipes, clothing, and a book. He shook the book open, nothing useful fell out. That left the strange soft box. Using his teeth he unzipped the top.

"I'm sorry I'm going to have to put you down," he told the baby.

At last something useful; two bottles full of milk, still warm. Quickly Ianto pulled out a bottle. For once he knew what to do. He unscrewed the cap, inverted the teat, and screwed the collar back on. Picking up the baby he positioned it as best as he could and as the baby went to cry again he popped in the teat.

Instant silence. Ianto watched intently as milk disappeared. The baby drank with vigour, clearly hungry. When the bottle was half empty Ianto felt his arm grow warm and the baby made a spurt noise.

"I think I can guess what that means," Ianto said gently. "I'm Ianto. I have no idea who you are or what you are doing here. I'm sorry about earlier but I have no idea what I'm doing. "

The baby dropped the teat and he recalled something. Carefully he tilted the baby upright and gently rubbed its back and it burped. Some of the milk came up and Ianto used the tee shirt he had slept in to wipe the baby's mouth. He let out a sigh as the baby having been fed was now thankfully much calmer.

Laying the baby on the sofa he now proceeded to take off its nappy which was soaked. Picking up the wipes he opened the box and cleaned its bum as best he could.

The baby took a moment to stretch its legs. Ianto took a clean nappy and examined it. '_How the hell do these go on?__'_He held it up, examined it. _'Higher must be the back so that is where the bum goes__,__'_ he figured.

Several tense moments later Ianto stuck down the final tab. "Well little man, I think that's done it," Ianto said with some pride as he examined his handy work. "Not bad for a first timer with his first icky nappy."

With slightly more confidence he picked up the baby, taking care to support its head, and cradled it again. Once settled he offered the remainder of the bottle. The only baby he had every held had been Mica. This one had the same miniature perfection; tiny little feet, perfect little button nose, smudge of dark hair, and fingers...he took the baby's right hand and instinctively rubbed a tiny spot on the back of its hand. For a second Ianto actually felt like his heart had stopped, and the world appeared to blur in and out. Holding his breath he moved his thumb over the spot again. It was there really there. How could this be? It was not possible. A gurgling noise caught his attention and the baby dropped the teat.

He needed a much stronger light.

Standing on the veranda he made a comparison with the back of his own hand. It was there all right, a strawberry mark in the exact same spot. Slowly he walked back in a daze and sat down with a thump. This was Bevan. This tiny bundle was Bevan. He kissed the back of the baby's hand with reverence not able to take his eyes off him and rocked him as he held him close to his chest.

Bevan was deeply asleep. Ianto moved with extreme care and went to retrieve the basket. Using his feet he manoeuvred it to the front of the sofa. Sitting again he saw a sheet of paper folded in half, in full view, with his name on it. How he had missed he couldn't fathom. He flicked it open.

_Ianto. _

_This is Bevan__,__ he is 12 days old. Don't worry about the time stream. I know I explained that __the__ Doctor warned me about creating time loops and interfering with time flows and all that. This is covered. No one is missing him. The then me left him with Rhys and Gwen and the now me turned back up and said I would take him after all. Rhys confirmed this on day of the picnic at the hospital. I need to return him in ten months' time which is when Rhys told me I turned back up and left him with them. _

_I know it's not the three years you deserve but it's what there is. _

_Everything you need is in the store room. You will find the store room where the wall was sealed which is right opposite the bathroom. In the carrier bag you will find everything you immediately need__:__ two full bottles of formula, change of clothing, wipes, nappies and a basic baby care book._

_If you really need help or Bevan gets sick you can contact me using the communication device on the lounge wall._

_Jack._


	10. Chapter Nine

Nine

Holding Bevan in his arms Ianto found himself unable to tear his gaze away as he noted every breath, twitch, and movement. Such tiny fingers with even tinier fingernails. He guessed from the movements the baby was dreaming.

He kissed the top of Bevan's head. This tiny bundle was his. '_His, Bevan was all his_…_Bevan... who had chosen that name, because it was perfect, a name he might have chosen himself…didn't matter, the name was perfect in every way'_. Bevan began to make movements with his lips like he was drinking and Ianto watched, fascinated.

A cry from one of the local birds from outside broke Ianto's attention and he glanced around. He smiled at the debris from the past couple of hours. It looked like a tornado had come through. The contents of the bag were scattered on and around the sofa. A dirty nappy and wipes lay still on the floor.

Bevan stretched and Ianto's returned to baby watching. As his gaze rested on Bevan Ianto was hit with a realisation. Bevan's very existence, everything he needed and required to grow was up to him. Not just grow, live, and thrive...this was life and death. Bevan was one hundred percent dependant of everything Ianto did or did not do. It was both exciting, and daunting all at the same time. Ianto sat back as the enormity of the thought. _'Wow,' _Ianto said to himself and tried to remember if he had ever been this responsible for anything this important in his life. He shook his head. No, this was it. Bevan was his greatest creation and responsibility.

So if Bevan was dependant on him then he had better start clueing himself up. He picked up the small volume from the bag and turned to the first page.

* * *

Ianto mentally went over what he understood as he closed the first part of the book. Newborn babies needed basic care. Feeding, cleaning, comfort...make sure they didn't get over hot or cold, cuddles. Gentle but firm handling along with a routine set by the baby itself. Bevan should go through cycles of sleep, feeding, soothing, and back to sleep. Small babies didn't always fall back to sleep and enjoyed eye to eye contact and spoken to in normal tones.

Amongst other things there was several instructions on how to change a nappy, Ianto ticked this off in his mind with some pleasure at getting at least one thing right. The book had some great advice; the best was learning by doing, one day at a time. Every baby was different so it was trial and error letting the baby lead. It if was hungry, feed. It was a basic feedback loop. So far he had done the very basics, change and feed him. Next Bevan would need a bath. Ianto sniffed; he had to admit that he and Bevan were both rank. Ianto's was self-inflicted, caused by his refusing to get out of bed for three days to spite Jack. He needed a plan and he sat back and mentally went over what he needed to do next.

Bevan took the bottle immediately. Ianto had sprung to action as soon as it was clear Bevan was waking up. He was determined he was going to fill Bevan's every need to the best of his ability. He had hardly made a cry when Ianto placed the teat into his mouth. Recalling the advice from the book he paused half way through the feed and laid him on the sofa.

"I promise next time you wake up I will be more organised." Ianto took the nappy off. "Your other dad has left a room full of baby stuff. I need to sort it out, then I'm going to give you a wash." He kissed Bevan's tummy and began to speak in a particular voice telling him he was the best boy in the entire universe.

Several moments passed as Bevan squirmed about, enjoying being free of the nappy. Ianto felt dizzy. He paused. When was the last time he had drank anything? Leaving Bevan for a moment he raced to the fridge and grabbed the first carton his hand touched then headed back to the sofa. Opening it he drank down half and felt much better.

"Well, little man. I'm your dad. And you are mine. Yes I know it's a shock, and I'm sorry I freaked out but I promise to do much better." He picked up a clean nappy and noted it was much easier this time around now that he sort of knew what he was doing.

Once the nappy was secured Ianto picked Bevan up and offered the rest of his bottle which he eagerly took.

"You and I have ten months then you have to go back." Ianto paused and gulped. "Which will be hard and I don't want to think about. All I know is this is ten months I thought I had missed forever." Ianto wiped away a tear then began to speak in hushed tones. "Don't ever tell your other dad this but he did something right for once. He gave me you. It's unbelievable and I have no idea how he did it but I have some suspicions and I don't care. See I had this wish to hold you when you were first born, and see your first smile, little things I had missed out on and it was eating me alive knowing that. Now I have a second chance," Ianto smiled, "at being a real dad," he said under his breath. "I'm a real dad."

Ianto sat up as another realisation hit him. It was so strange since finding Bevan he hadn't once thought about his illness. If he told the truth he was feeling a little better. No worse anyway. He was drinking, and he was not in as much pain and he could keep things down and that horrible feeling he was going to throw up at any moment was completely gone. Ten more months of life. Could he make it ten months and to give Bevan the best start in life he could? It would be his legacy knowing he had built the foundation. Rhys would then take over…another thought interrupted. What if? He shook the thought away. No what if's, just live in the moment, ten months of wonderful precious moments, something he could take into the darkness with him instead of anger, and bitterness. Yes live for now. He brought Bevan in closer and kissed his hand.

* * *

Ianto looked with some satisfaction at the state of order. The kitchen was now clean and the nappies disposed of. The room wavered and he grabbed the side of the bench to steady himself. He had found a nifty device that was a rubbish disposer called a "Trash Genie" which apparently could take anything and from the logo on the side it meant all. He had no idea how it worked but he put rubbish in and it disappeared to mechanical noises hisses and strange wet noises. According to the small indicator on the side it would need empting in 897 days.

Rinsing out the baby bottle he placed it on the drainer and headed for the store room. On his way he glanced at the screen on the wall and stopped to examine it. It was a small screen with just three buttons: green, red, and grey. Several moments passed as he debated with himself if he should check and make sure it worked. _'Better check.'_ He pressed the green button. The screen came alive and within seconds Jack's face appeared on the screen.

"Is everything all right… is Bevan?" Jack sounded like he was out of breath.

"Just checking to see if this worked."

Jack looked relived. "So things are okay then?" Jack checked and paused for Ianto to reply.

"You are a manipulative, conniving, wanker."

"You're welcome," Jack said with a twisted grin as he heard mutterings and the screen went dead.

"How's Eye Candy doing?" John asked and around the interior of the small living pod. It was situated on the other side of the Island in a cove. It had been a basic sleep-out which he had helped Jack convert it to a compact living space. It was very basic with a cooking area, storage, somewhere to sleep...if anyone could sleep in a hammock. The toilet and shower were outside a few feet away from the structure out in the open. John shuddered, no matter how well hidden it reeked primitive to him.

"He's doing okay."

"You look terrible," John pointed out and picked up a baseball bat. "Expecting trouble?

"Nope." Jack took the bat and headed outside. He swung the bat at a punch bag that was hanging from the branch of a tree. The bat hit the bag with a thud. "My therapist recommended it," Jack said through gritted teeth.

"That explains these then," John said, pointing to a stack of around twenty books piled on the floor. He picked one up and read out the title. "How To Reclaim Love," John scoffed and picked up another, "How to Transform Your Life," and another, "So You Fucked Up, Now What?" John threw the books back on the pile.

"Light reading," Jack hit the bag again. "And I'm writing a journal, more a history of what happened and how it made me feel, to get it out in the open." He pulled back the bat and hit the bag again with a smack.

"You always were a brooder Jack, taking it all inside."

"I'm trying to understand how I could have fucked up so badly it ended with me cheating on Ianto, and sleeping with his worst nightmare; followed by Steven, losing him. Bevan." Jack turned to John.

"Is it working?"

"I can't move forward until I've fixed the past."

"So fixing Ianto..."

"Is what I owe him. Having even a few good months with Bevan is something I can give him, something that should have been his by right."

"I thought what you gave him was the big breakthrough?" John queried.

Jack smiled. "It is. The only addition is the additive to the juice he drinks. It's a later version of the drug therapy. The second set of drugs was more effective at supporting the second cell line."

"Does he know that this could lead to a full cure?"

Jack shook his head. "Ianto has been hanging on for so long I don't want to give him false hope. If it works, it works."

"And you have all the side effects," John pointed out the bracelet on Jack's wrist.

"I should have been there for him. He should never have had to suffer this alone." Jack pointed at his head. "Had I not been so fucked in here, caught up in my own freakdom, I would have seen how ill he was. That was one of my many failures. I keep asking myself over and over how I could have missed it. Then after he left I was so blinded by own self-hatred that I actually believed that because Ianto rejected me he would reject Bevan. Who would want the son of an abomination, I asked myself. Ianto could see how flawed I was; what hope was there for Bevan? When he rebuffed my every attempt to speak to him I created this delusion that Ianto had moved on and was living the life he deserved free of me." Jack paused, closed his eyes and struggled to speak. "And all that time Ianto was suffering, struggling with zero support when all he wanted, needed was the person he loved by his side. I couldn't break through the falsehood of my own lies until Bevan went missing." He punched his chest. "Ianto was right. I robbed him. I was a coward who ran away twice rather than face the mess I left behind."

John remained silent as Jack continued.

"And do you know what's even worst? I hurt him, I lashed out again and again and he took every blow. Sweet loving gentle Ianto, he proved what a monster I was."

"That is some heavy shit, Jack.'"

"Taking on the side effects is the least I could do. If I could I would go back in time, kick Gwen out for being the most opportunist selfish individual in history, and then beat the living shit out of myself for being such a fool."

John raised an eyebrow as he recalled the lecture the Doctor had given Jack about screwing with the time lines and not to create time loops and to try their best not to cause the end of the world via the Reapers.

"Explain the baseball bat and the punch bag to me again?" John said.

Jack handed the bat to him. "Try it and while you're doing it think of the individual who has hurt you the most." John took it with and looked at the bat with renewed interest.

"I guess that why it has 'The Master' scrawled on it."

"Oh yeah" Jack said through his teeth. He took back the bat and slammed it into the bag.

* * *

Something was wrong. Jack could feel it and he fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist as another wave of vertigo hit him. He took a moment to recover; this had been accelerating for hours.

Pacing up and down he went over his decision to leave Ianto alone with the baby. Ianto has been livid at Jack's intervention so he and John had moved the plan forward to lift Ianto's spirits. He cursed his own stupidity. With all the preparation and time jumping he had been so focused on he had overlooked the fact that Ianto was still very unwell. The man had been near death just three short weeks ago, and had been given a highly experimental drug followed by the second cell line.

Jack stopped mid-stride. Maybe he was just overreacting. It was only Ianto's second day; he was bound to be tired. He mentally went over the symptoms: weakness, headache… vertigo slammed into him and he blacked out for a second and he managed to stop himself falling. Moments later found him spread out on the floor.

Using the side of the pod he pulled himself up and staggered across to the other side. On reaching it he pressed the send button on the communication device. He tapped out the seconds on the wall with his fingers then tried gain

Pushing aside the foliage Jack fought his way up the small hill towards the main dwelling. A frond hit him in the face and he channelled his anxiety and tore it down. The jungle that had taken over the one time garden left by the previous island's owner meant walking anywhere was fraught with fighting the way through. Why had he left it due to aesthetics, when he should have chopped the lot down? As he got closer he could hear Bevan crying. Picking up speed it pushed his way through. Breaking out of the undergrowth to a clearer path he broke into a run.

Jack took the stairs two at a time. He could hear that Bevan had upped his distress to a more desperate tone, and he tore into the lounge. The table was covered in a mound of supplies; his eyes swept around the room and hit the Moses basket.

"It's okay, it's okay." Jack picked Bevan up speaking in a soothing tone. Bevan settled for a moment as Jack swayed. "Where is your daddy?" Jack looked through the door of the store room and saw a crumpled form on the floor.

Instinctively he felt for a pulse. "This is just for a moment, because I have to move your daddy and make sure he's okay," Jack said as he laid Bevan back into the basket.

Kneeling and with effort he lifted Ianto up in his arms and headed to the sofa

He could hear Bevan gearing himself up again as he put Ianto into a comfortable position.

Now he turned his full attention to Bevan. Picking him up he walked into the kitchen. He saw that Ianto had found the steriliser and bottle warming equipment along with a tin of formula.

"Your daddy is so organised I know what this means," Jack said, opening the fridge door and saw two made up bottles.

Taking the nearest he popped the bottle into the warmer. Bevan was sucking his fingers frantically, interjected with a cry of disappointment. To Jack's relief only a few seconds passed when the warmer pinged. Jack lifted the bottle out, shook a few drops on his wrist, and then placed the teat in Bevan's mouth. Finding the teat in his mouth Bevan began to make frantic swallows.

"Good boy." Jack heard a sound behind him and turned.

"Jack," Ianto croaked as he struggled to sit up.

Jack moved forward and helped him upright. Ianto sat up then immediately put his head into his hands. Jack felt a wave of fatigue and nausea joined him on the sofa.

"Bevan... is he...?"

"Hungry," Jack replied.

"I don't know what happened. I was sorting out the store when next thing...I'm here."

"This is my fault," Jack said. Ianto looked at him confused. "I do it every time I overestimate... I'm an idiot. I'm sorry I was trying to give you time with Bevan."

"Jack I understand about the Bevan part."

"I should have known better. Instead I throw you in the deep end. Looking after a small baby is hard, tiring, demanding work."

"Jack," Ianto interrupted. "I just overdid it. I can't say I didn't have any warning signs because I did and I chose to ignore them."

"That's not the point Ianto. This is my fuck up. I got carried away with trying to fix things I didn't think," Jack rattled on.

"Didn't think," Ianto repeated looking bemused as Jack stood and slipped the baby into Ianto's arms.

"I didn't think, you got overtired," he turned on the water heater. "I should have thought this through better." Jack looked at Ianto. "I know things are not good between us. I have an idea but I don't want you to think that I want to take any of your time with Bevan. I want you to have all the moments you lost, so let me look after you, so you can look after Bevan. I know this is hard to ask because I'm the last person you want hanging about. So why don't I do all the leg work and you do all the care. That way you won't wear yourself out. As you feel stronger you can do more. I will step into the background."

Water heater boiled and Jack took out a cup and opened a draw revealing around fifty different varieties of herbal tea.

"Camomile," Ianto instructed and Jack pulled open a packet and took out a tea bag. "I see," Ianto reflected as he watched Jack fill a cup with hot water and was now dipping the tea bag up and down.

"You look after Bevan and I look after you." Jack placed the cup on the small table that he moved next to Ianto. "You do everything for him; I make sure that you can do just that."

"Why are you doing this?" Ianto took a sip from the cup making sure he held it away from Bevan.

"I made a terrible mistake Ianto, one of an infinite number where you are concerned. Now is not the time to talk about that. What's important is that you spend time with your son."

Ianto looked up at Jack. "He's your son too."

"I know," Jack said, and tried to hide how emotional he was by sitting and kissing the top of Bevan's head.

"That doesn't seem right. He's part of both of us."

"I know," Jack said under his breath stroking Bevan's tiny hand.

Ianto took several moments as went over Jack's admittances. Jack was right that he had tried to race ahead, sometimes he didn't consider all the implications. But there was something much bigger going on here. Ianto observed how Jack looked at Bevan and he felt an ache in his chest. Jack has sacrificed his own time with a child he desperately loved to give him this gift. But it was not right. Bevan was their son. Maybe this was time to put a lot of this right for Bevan's sake.

"This doesn't let you off the hook .How I feel still stands."

Jack looked at Ianto as he spoke. "I know," Jack said leaning back and taking in everything Bevan.

"He's beautiful," Ianto said after a few moments as he lifted him up and patted him gently on the back. Some milk slipped from between Bevan's lips and Jack used a small square of muslin to clean it up.

"I know," Jack replied, standing. A few moments passed and he returned with a clean nappy and some wipes.

"Why the name Bevan?" Ianto asked as he laid Bevan on the sofa.

"We were having a late night drink after a mission. You, Owen, Tosh, and Gwen started playing one of Gwen's stupid games, this one was ' worst child names'. Well, after 'Sunshine, Moonbeam, Lavender, Apple and a few others you all started talking about names you might all choose if you had the chance and you said Bevan, if it was a boy. Megan if it was girl." Ianto looked at Jack and his jaw dropped.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Ten – Island Time- Excerpts from Ianto's Journal**

* * *

Boy, can that boy eat. Wow did I just say that? Boy can he eat, I said it again. What can I say? He's got a good appetite. He drank down 750 mils in one go last night. He is definitely hungrier in the evenings, like he's loading himself up for sleeping 5 hours. Then he wakes up extra hungry; big scramble first time since Jack started staying over. Lesson learned: be prepared. Also make sure the floor is clear before we settle for the night. Hopping about on one foot while trying to manage in the kitchen is not to be recommended when there is a baby desperate for his bottle.

I have to agree; Jack's suggestion about night feeds is having an impact. If Bevan wakes at night it's change, feed then back to bed. If he gets unsettled we hold him but the lights are down very low. No fun and games at night; it's boring.

During the day Bevan is becoming more awake between feeds and now tracks us with his eyes. I just love the way he looks at me when I feed him and curls his hand around my thumb. He does it with Jack as well.

Watching Jack with Bevan confirms I made the right decision. It doesn't change how I feel about what happened and I am still boiling mad on a lot of issues. Right now I have up to ten months and I'm not going to waste one moment hashing over the past. There will be time enough for us to heave heavy objects at each other at some future date. If not then I'll know I gave Bevan the gift to having both his Dads take care of him.

I know anyone reading this who knows the whole story will think I'm mad but Bevan is both Jack's and mine. If Jack left him with Rhys and Gwen it means he missed out on this too. From the evidence I see with my own eyes, something must have happened because it's clear he adores him. Jack's been as good as his word and he has been holding back so I'm making sure that Jack spends time with Bevan. Right now I'm pretending to be overtired so Jack is doing this feed.

I have a suspicion Jack has done this all before because he is so confident in the way he handles him. I've learnt a lot just watching them together. The way Jack changes a nappy is almost art. I can't explain this but the pair of us are speaking to Bevan in a slightly higher pitched voice. I caught myself doing it then noted Jack was doing it as well. Currently Jack and I have an unspoken understanding that how we speak to Bevan is something neither of will admit to. Personally I can't figure out where this new ability came from. Maybe it's some kind of instinct thing that happens. As I think about it I recall Rhia and Johnny did it with Mica. It must be some kind ability that switches on when you are handed a baby.

As of today the storeroom is now sorted. There is a cot which I managed to put together. Jack has no patience for such things so left me to it and three hours later it was done. It's a long time since I did anything that required my prowess with a Phillips-head screwdriver. Jack handed me a celebratory glass of juice and toasted my efforts. There were a couple of other immediately useful things like a carry baby seat, and a changing table. I was particularly glad to see the table because leaning over the sofa to change nappies was doing my back in. It means I can stand which I need to do because I am 100% unfit.

* * *

I could swear Bevan is making different kinds of cries. I can tell when he's hungry or just being fussy. When he first wakes it's, 'I need attention now.' Once he's picked up he will ease up, but if his bottle does not appear within a reasonable time - say ninety seconds - he gears up again to, 'Desperation...give it to me now!' Other times it's more niggly but not the same degree of demand. Anyway time will tell if I'm right.

Today I put up a mobile on the side of his cot. It is little stuffed sea creatures: a Nemo fish, green seahorse, red octopus, a blue dolphin, and for some strange reason a parrot, all very bright. Jack made a suggestion that we should add one of the blue flying monkey squirrels. I pointed out if one came the whole bloody lot would want in, and when they couldn't fit they would squabble.

Jack laughed, saying maybe we could bribe them in as some kind of living mobile. I told him that I would pay to see him try. So the bet's on. I noted Jack looking pensive trying to go over a plan. Anyway, back to the mobile.

Bevan loves it. The mobile plays a tune as well, and he is happy to lay there for quite a bit with his nappy off watching all the animals bob about. I could swear he was making noises at them, a sort of cooing. I have to say I spent a lot of time just watching him lying there. However it was an opportunity to open a new folder in my Bevan collection.

All the images from the camera which was also one of the treasures in the storeroom have been arranged as photo albums. 'Bevan crying', 'Bevan feeding', 'Bevan laying down', 'Bevan looking about', and 'Bevan and Jack' I have set up the lot (except the ones of Jack and Bevan) as my laptop computer wallpaper as I'm going to gift them to him once we leave. The laptop is another treasure from the storeroom. (I think Jack thought of everything)

I had the best night's sleep last night I can recall. Woke up feeling tremendous which put a bounce in my step I had long forgotten.

Okay overdid it. I tried to do some sit ups. After six found myself floundering around the floor like a giant fish. Decided to try walking up and down the stairs. I made two rotations up and down before having to be revived by lying on the swing seat and a downing a whole litre of juice. What is it with this juice? It's delicious. It's kind of got this tang to it, not too sweet and has just the right amount of tart. I told Jack someone should box and sell it they would make a fortune.

* * *

Bevan is adorable, and I am right he does have different cries. I can tell when he's hungry, fussy, tired and just plain grumpy. I fessed up to Jack and he said I was right, it's partly a parent thing being attuned and Bevan is distinguishing different states. Hunger is survival; he's starving and his life depends on being fed. Other times it's not quite so urgent. So he cries and we pay attention, he's getting all his needs met because at times there is a pause before he starts to cry. I hadn't noticed that but I feel inordinately proud that I am getting this right. I feel so driven to fulfil Bevan's every need to know that this is an indication he trusts me enough to wait a moment is overwhelming.

* * *

We had an incident today; Bevan just would not stop crying. I was on my own; Jack was having some time out. Every couple of days he disappears for a few hours. I asked him where he goes and he told me he's a work in progress. Not sure what that means. Anyway he had been gone a couple of hours when I noticed spots all over Bevan's face. Talk about freak out. The book told me nothing, is it milk spots of something more serious? He didn't feel hot but he refused his bottle. Now that was out of character because he loves his food. Nothing I did worked, I began singing to him and that sort of worked for about 30 seconds. Turned on his mobile that just increased the pitch of his crying. I offered him some water then something to eat again. I was about to call for Jack when Bevan seemed to flex and made a long explosive noise.

Much to my relief he stopped crying. But then he started to leak. It was everywhere, up his back, down his legs, and some even made it to his tummy. Clearly this is a toxic substance no nappy could ever hope to contain. It was yellow, dirty green and brown. Needless to say it got all over me in the process. A bath was the only solution. Although he had stopped the full-on screaming he was still unsettled for the rest of the day. He only calmed down after the second messy nappy. Much the same and I had to give him another bath. Jack called them both 'po-plosions.'***

After this he was really grizzly because he was overtired. He was out of whack with his normal routine of sleep: three hours wake for one and half. Normally he only gets fussy in the evening, we give him a last bottle around nine and he sleeps until around two in the morning, three the a couple of nights ago. Normally he is a happy little chap so he was well out of sorts. Finally I got him to take some warm water and he fell asleep on the fourth suck. What a relief. I decided not to risk moving him and just held him.

By the time Jack got back Bevan had slept a couple of hours. He confirmed the spots were milk spots. I was very relieved; apparently they will go away all on their own. As for the sore tummy, Jack said that if he refused to eat the next feed we needed to call Martha because refusing two feeds in a row was serious.

We sat together on the sofa offering Bevan what comfort we could. Much to our respective reliefs he woke up and took a quarter his bottle of 50% diluted feed, then after a short period of grumbling he went back to sleep. Hopefully that is the worst over, moving forward we will step up our hygiene routine. It's already pretty solid but better not take any chances. We threw all prepared feeds away then we resterilised everything and made up a fresh batch. I have put a notice by the sink to remind us both to wash our hands.

* * *

**MAJOR MILESTONE!**

It happened! Bevan smiled! I was changing his nappy being goofy with him and he smiled. I called Jack over and we both stood there with stupid grins on our faces as he gave us one each. I picked Bevan up telling him how smart he was and Jack grabbed the camera. Then Bevan peed on me. I have to say I have never been so pleased to be peed on because Bevan chuckled. He's nearly got me and Jack twice previously and only quick footwork prevented us being soaked. However this time he got me good. I have no idea how many images we both took, but I have created a new folder called, 'Bevan smiling.'

He is now in his cot grinning at the creatures on his mobile, cooing away. I'm going to ignore the fact that he would have smiled at the wall. He has a big grin for both myself and Jack whenever we move into view and I don't care if it just a reaction. Jack joked that he thinks smiling is a survival technique for babies, by the time they get to six weeks you are exhausted and then they smile and, wham! It makes it all worthwhile. Well it worked. Bevan smiling felt like a shot of sunlight straight to my heart and lifted my spirits through the roof. Did I just write that? Part of me is rolling its eyes at the page. Babies don't half make you daft.

What an amazing day. Bevan smiled, and bam! Your whole world turns upside down with joy.

On a fitness note: actually achieved ten sit ups today... However still doing my elephant seal beached on the shores of Antarctica act.

* * *

Today Bevan is 10 weeks old. Ten weeks. It's hard to imagine the time has flown by.

He has been vocalising more and more but today he started blowing raspberries. One thing led to another and it became a competition to see if I or Jack could make Bevan smile the most and make him chuckle. Tummy tickles were a big winner as was out-raspberrying each other. Jack and I still have our gentlemen's agreement and neither of us has made any comment about our antics, which is good because we must both sound and look completely daffy.

The weather has continued to heat up. It's so hot all Bevan wears for most of the day is a nappy and vest. He seems to revel in having no clothes on. Bevan likes nothing more than to lie in his cot naked, talking to his stuffed animals and wiggling about.

Another milestone was passed today. I was actually hungry. Normally I feel sort of hungry and the juice does it for me. However today I craved something more solid. Visions of hamburgers with chips accompanied with lashing of onion rings kept dancing before my eyes. Jack offered to cook me something, but after not having eaten anything solid for so long I decided to be cautious and asked for my second craving, a chocolate thick shake. It was beautiful. I could only manage half but every mouthful was heaven. And it stayed down. Later we both just sat outside enjoying the view. This place is beautiful; the jungle carries right down to the sea. It's very strange, this truce between us, as we are so comfortable with each other and yet we are both aware there is so much unsaid. We are both on different islands so to speak with Bevan acting as a bridge

* * *

Bevan is one strong little chap. He can hold on and almost bears his weight on our knees. He is lifting his head and is far less wobbly. He is exactly three months old today. A question sprung into my mind and I fought with myself all day if I should ask Jack about how Bevan happened. Jack and I had barely touched each other and it was more Jack topping me than the other way around. But we must have… I must have. I have no doubt that Bevan is mine but it does raise questions more about the mechanics than anything. After much thought I decided not to ask. He happened; a happy miracle he's here. That's what I'm focusing on.

Up till now as each day has passed I have not given the past any energy. I have been focused on enjoying being here and looking after Bevan. Bevan being three months old and my being here along with other indications is evidence I might be getting better.

Slowly but surely there are signs every day that I might actually make it. It's been a growing thought ever since I started eating again. I'm gaining a little weight and I am able to do far more. I took some time out today to give Jack and Bevan some time alone and I walked down to the beach. I sat there for ages just looking out towards the reef and even contemplated a swim. Every day I've been pushing myself in terms of my fitness. I am so out of shape, but with more food I am able to sustain more effort. Fifteen sit ups and several rotations of the stairs and being able to stand without feeling like my legs are going to give up at a moment's notice feels amazing.

The walk down the path took less than fifteen minutes and I admit the knees were a bit shaky. I asked Jack how I made it that first day. He went quiet for a bit before he answered, then told me it actually took two hours from when I left the house to reaching him. That was a surprise but as I thought about it, it was kind of a blur.

I sat for a while just enjoying being in the sun when it hit me that for now whatever Jack had given me had worked. It also meant that at some time in the future I would have to face saying goodbye to Bevan. It also means that the dark anger I have inside will have to find an outlet. To say I am confused would be an understatement. Jack is so attentive, kind and dare I say it...loving. He goes out of his way every day to make sure I'm looked after and he's doing it in a way that makes it feel like I not being fussed over. I know how difficult it is for someone to look after me, I'm bloody awful in fact but Jack has managed to find a balance.

Yet this is the man who slept with…Stop it! this is not the time to go there. This could just be like before, you have ups and downs, and this is just an up with a down to come.

This is your time with Bevan!

Thank you inner self, you are right. I'm going to embrace every second of every moment. We are here away from all the shit that Torchwood represented and whatever the fuck went wrong.

Now is not the time. Enjoy, live, breathe.

* * *

Drama today, just as we were gearing up for a walk after lunch the screen in the lounge made a squawk. It does make the occasional noise being part of the worn-out nature of most to the stuff around here so we ignored it. A few moments later the screen turned on and words began to march across the screen in red. This was accompanied by announcements in several languages followed what was clearly a warning siren.

Suddenly the sky turned purple and the wind which is normally a gentle breeze picked up to a stiff wind causing the canopy around the house to creak. The weather system had failed. Yes actually failed. Apprenently the climate control was now off and not if restored within two hours all hell would break loose.

I asked Jack to define. 'All hell breaking loose' and he replied with 'Violent redistribution of the biosphere.' All we could do was prepare.

We looked at each other for one microsecond then began to shut every window and secure as much as we could. I was about to start packing a bag for Bevan when the screen made another announcement, the sky went red, back to purple and then to blue.

I made both Jack and I a cup of tea to recover. As I did he explained that the planet had been terra-formed. It wasn't naturally habitable, the atmosphere was controlled and regulated by a sophisticated network maintained and run by the management company that owned the planet. The whole tropical theme was just an illusion. If the control failed there would be a planet-wide storm as the atmosphere tried to find its own equilibrium.

So that put paid to my swim, however we did make our walk. It's been my goal to walk around the island so I have been extending my walk every day. Jack said he wanted to check his own place and offered to lead me there. It was a hike but I figured it would be a good stretch. I have to say I was very interested to see where he goes every couple of days. After feeding Bevan and packing up a few supplies we fastened him into a backpack which we would swap half way.

We made our way through a path Jack had been slowly making; it was hard going the place is so overgrown. It's typical tropical growth which seems to suddenly appear overnight and send forth tendrils everywhere.

After around twenty minutes we came to a small building in a cove just up from the shore. Jack pulled open the door and I took a look around while he checked everything was still okay.

There was not much: hammock, table and chair, crude cooking facilities, a stack of books. As I stood there it struck me that this was like Jack's quarters at the Hub; crude and incomplete with just the bare basics. It hit me that Jack never seems to travel along in life with much either. For some reason I cannot explain the thought filled me with inexplicable sadness.

Only a few moments passed and Jack found what he was looking for and we headed back along the beach. As we walked, our feet dipping into the shallows, I wondered about what Jack did here every couple days. He always came back in such strange moods. Sometimes he's quiet and others more upbeat. After much fumbling and adjustments we swopped over the backpack. It amazes me how babies can sleep through anything.

* * *

I felt it, a tiny bump on Bevan's lower jaw. It explains the grumpiness; he's teething. It also explains the drool. Drool...a word that fits so perfectly. It runs as a constant stream of clear liquid, most of which ends up on the floor because that's where he loves to be.

I put together a baby gym which he lays underneath and grabs and pull the objects towards him and gives each a good chewing. After his terrible tummy upset I am hyper-vigilant and always make sure they get a wipe down after he's finished like I do everything he puts in his mouth. And that he does endlessly, because he needs to bite things to help his tooth come through. His poor cheeks are so red and they feel hot. I also noted his bum is equally red, so have made sure he has an extra layer of cream when I change is nappy.

On other news he spends a lot of time rocking side-to-side. He gets his shoulder involved and he almost makes it. He almost reaches the tipping point then he ends up on his back again. He's also brilliant on his tummy; he can really lift his head and reach out for things. We've both been introducing the toys from the storeroom. Anything that makes a noise is a huge hit and he just loves shoving everything into his mouth. (Sorry I keep noting that but he does)

To distract from the obvious discomfort Jack and I are trying to keep him busy. How do people do this if they have to work even with two of us it's a full time job? He commands our attention and he has it.

Finally managed to eat a whole cheeseburger this evening. I've been working my way up to this for several weeks. I've gone so long without eating. I've been taking in little and often. Fruit in particular, cereal, slice of toast, but not a whole meal. There were three courses including salad and ice cream, delicious.

And today I got my swim. I decided to hell with it and exposed my terrible pale body to the full sun. Like everything here it's so controlled there is no danger of getting burnt, but I will hope it will lead to my getting a bit more colour if I do this more often.

Reaching the point where my feet could just reach the bottom I turned and looked up towards the hill. I lay on my back and closed my eyes allowing the warm water to gently rock me. Who'd have thought I would still be here and I think...do I dare the thought...can I admit this to myself that maybe I'm going to live.

* * *

***Thank you Secrets and Smiles.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Eleven -Island Time -** **Excerpts from Ianto's Journal continued.**

* * *

I love the future. They have solved the 'how to keep food fresh without it going icky' problem. To cut a long story short all fresh foods are wrapped in what looks like plastic-type foil which reminds me of the stuff you make helium novelty balloons out of. Anyway, the food is as fresh as the day it was picked and/or wrapped. Jack explained that he tried to get as much Earth equivalents as he could. Bananas in particular proved to be a bit of a challenge. I was intrigued to why he had gone to so much trouble and he just smiled.

Now I understand. Bevan is a banana monster. He loves and adores this fruit hence his self-declaration in the park. His first ever solid meal was mashed-up bananas. The look on his face as he took his first mouthful was a treat. He was sitting on Jack while we fed him. As he took the first spoonful his face lit up and then his legs started to move and it was clear he wanted more. He reached out for the bowl and made 'num num' noises as we loaded up the spoon. Once it was all gone we had to show him the empty bowl, and we both burst out laughing at the look of disappointment on his face. Now every meal has to have a starter of banana. You can see him watching our every move, his whole body is aquiver of impatience as we prepare. I love the way he gets his legs going when we move into position to feed him then opens his mouth even before the spoon is full.

* * *

After months of not eating I can't stop. The all-day gorging begins at breakfast with a bowl of cereal followed by four slices of toast dripping with butter, jam or honey. This is washed down with a large glass of juice followed by a top-up. Mid-morning I have a milk shake which interrupts my after-breakfast but before-lunch snacking. Lunch today was a large green leaf salad laden with chicken with skin, covered in dressing, topped with grated cheese and two bread rolls… alright, four bread rolls. Afters was several pieces of fruit including two bananas.

How I manage to get to dinner surviving on a few bit of fruits and biscuits because every day I nearly die of 'famation'. I need meat, real meat, red meat…answering my plight Jack cooked me a huge steak (leave the fat on man!), with fries, mushrooms and onions. Every mouthful was divine. I am a true carnivore and I licked the plate clean of all and any meat juices. This was followed by Jack's now famous double, triple ice cream chocolate thick shake with real strawberries.

It is the strangest feeling to be full, yet starving hungry. I am so demanding and impatient I've been banned from the kitchen as I get in the way. At times I want to sit at the table, knife and fork in each hand, banging the table. Jack tells me there is a lot of Bevan in me when it comes to impatience and food.

* * *

Being so hungry all the time has meant I have become hyper-aware of the fruit growing all around us. It is the legacy of a garden which has now gone wild which I daily give thanks for because I have become a fruit fanatic. In my defence I am hungry and the fruit just hangs there begging to be picked.

They are all delicious but one stands out over all the others as King of all fruit and that's 'Wongai' fruit. It's kind of oblong, and unripe it's blue and then goes deeper and deeper purple as it ripens. It has a tough slick outer skin and the easiest way to get into one is to bite the top off then squeeze the juice into my mouth. I spit out the seed to allow more trees to grow.

Using teeth and hands I rip each apart to get at the firmer pink flesh which I strip bare. The really ripe ones I roll around in my hand to loosen all the pulp; once you bite off the top you just squirt the thick juice out. Sometimes it comes out with a bit of a fizz and those ones are just on the turn. The overripe ones turn to red. I try to avoid those but eventually my greed may catch out me out because I just grab and eat. If the antics of the spider monkey squirrels are anything to go by overripe Wongai fruit cocktails come with one hell of a punch. The fruit swell up and will eventually explode scattering their contents so as long as I avoid all the red bloated ones I should be okay. I've made visiting each tree part of my daily routine. Some fruit is harder to reach so it has been great for upper body strength and stretching.

Jack suggested I should join 'Wongai Anonymous' because I have such an addiction. I replied I would never join as I don't have an addiction. Jack placed a ripe Wongai on the table and looked at his watch. Yes! Alright I admit it. 'Hello I am Ianto Jones and I'm a Wongaiholic'.

* * *

Another milestone today; Bevan finally flipped over. Jack and I sat for most of his playtime cheering him on as he almost made it several times then with a final push of effort he did it. On finding himself on his tummy he was so surprised he burst into tears. We both clapped and whooped at his achievement, picked him up and danced around the room. I sometimes wonder if other parents are as potty as we are, but as Jack pointed out this is a major milestone towards crawling. So we celebrated hard because it means he's hitting all his milestones just as he should.

Jack is so knowledgeable when it comes to small children again I am tempted to ask but on the other hand I don't want to go there. Yet part of me is deeply curious. Much of his past is so hidden, he never shared. On the other hand I didn't share my past either. With so much going on around us at TW we never really shared anything about our respective pasts. It was like we had this unwritten agreement that Jack wouldn't say and I wouldn't ask and vice versa. I was never sure if it was because he had something to hide or he just didn't want to share. My reticence came from his reluctance. This is getting heavy; my next sentence will be 'maybe he shared it with her'. Dysfunctional doesn't even being to describe the truly fucked up nature of whatever the fuck we had. I don't even want to begin to try and unravel the supreme monumental fuck-up our current situation represents. Enough, Bevan needs a bath.

* * *

Today was a riot. Just after we got here I had laid down a bet to Jack that involved catching one of the flying monkey squirrels. Well today Jack completed that challenge.

The small creatures find us endlessly fascinating and seem to spend an inordinate amount of time following us about. In fact one or two accompany us wherever we go. Jack's plan involved a great deal of patience. Every day Jack takes his breakfast on the steps. Stage one was to find out via several different tasty morsels what would temp them. This led to the discovery for a particular liking for honey. So for weeks Jack has been tossing small bits of honey-covered toast for them to enjoy. Each day the scene of temptation plays out with the small creatures desperate to gain the prize, but pretending to ignore events. You could almost hear the conversation going on.

"Oh look, I think he threw something," Monkey squirrel One notices a morsel landing by the foot of the tree then jerks its head away and looks towards the sea

Monkey squirrel Two examines its hand, pauses and looks down at the toast and moves down the bark of the tree a few inches. "Really, I'm not interested…I have no liking for honey."

"Oh, honey...is that what that is? It's sweet but oh so sticky." All the creatures follow the arc of another morsel of toast as it flies through the air. They chatter, and then looking upwards follows a bird that flies past them. Then almost as one they turn back to stare at the treats on the ground.

"I hadn't noticed. Is that toast? I don't care for toast." All the creatures look away except one whose gaze is transfixed on the morsel and so on.

This dance continues until one grabs one of the morsels and stuffs it into its mouth as quickly as possible. As one breaks they all descend to watch in awe at the brave or foolhardy one (I could never quite work out which) enjoys the prize.

Just recently the game has got even more interesting because as time passed along with the faux disinterest they get annoyed if Jack is late. If Jack is late they let out a particular cry to remind him they are ready and waiting. Each day one or two have been getting closer and closer. Yesterday one came right between Jack's legs and took the titbit from his hand.

Then today there was a flash of blue, a squawk, and Jack had one firmly in hand. He brought it in to show Bevan who was in my arms. He was fascinated. After a few moments Jack took it back outside and let it go.

As the creature re-joined its fellows the whole pack, which had become silent at the shocking turn of events, erupted into righteous indignation. They spent rest of the day following us about giving us a right telling off.

The one Jack caught was so annoyed that it sat in the tree opposite from where Jack sits. Every time Jack appears it hisses at him. Jack threw several pieces of fruit in an effort to gain forgiveness. This appeared to work but then once the fruit was eaten it was back to following Jack around. It's outside now, glowering at him, plotting blue monkey squirrel revenge.

* * *

Bevan loves being on the floor. He has gone from rolling from his back to his front and now can roll back to his tummy. Well today he demonstrated a brand new skill. He can push himself backwards. In moments he was across the floor, out the door, across the decking and over the steps.

Normally we are so careful; a moment's inattention and your son is out the house, fallen down four steps and become an object of intense interest to the local inhabitants.

Jack and I were both mortified at our carelessness. Bevan was not fazed at all and took it all in his stride. However Jack and I both nearly had a heart attack each, the first one from realising he was missing and the second from finding him at the bottom of the steps. Talk about panic. It means he must not be left on his own even for a second. As an added precaution Jack has made a sort of barrier across the door. While we recovered Bevan, demonstrated just how well he could move himself about and proceeded to push himself into every corner and wall.

Then it happened. He found if he bent his knees he could almost raise himself up. We celebrated by propping him up with cushions then giving him a small piece banana which he preceded to gob, maul, and smash into the floor.

* * *

The weather is getting so hot. I think I must have arrived here in winter, it was cooler anyway. The air is hot and muggy so I have got into the habit of wearing very little. Not absolute nakedness but mostly loose beach shorts, or wraps that just hang off the hips. I've forgone underwear altogether. It's just too hot.

This has not been any problem until eight days ago when I woke up with a raging hard on. Losing function was one of the side effects of the chemo as well as the debilitating effects of the disease itself. As I was dying sex was the last thing on my mind. The chances of my getting laid were zero anyway. I mean who wants to bed someone who looks like a walking cadaver?

My body however is fitter, has filled out which means function along with desire has returned with a vengeance. It's like this part of me has a mind of its own and keeps acting out in the most inopportune moments as if making up for lost time. Even the most basic stimulation and bam, embarrassing doesn't even begin to cover this.

And of course today is the day we decided to take Bevan for a swim. The difficulty is neither Jack nor I swim in clothes any more. I mean what the hell is the point?

I'm going to have to swim in shorts, and mentally will my penis not to move at any point including drying myself with the towel. Maybe I can drip dry!

Okay it all went well, my body actually behaved. Decided to be brave and went in as per normal. I think Jack noticed something was up (sorry about the pun) and by way of acknowledgement offered to take Bevan for a nice long walk tomorrow or whenever I felt like I needed a break or an extra-long shower.

Back to the swim. The water is so warm and the pair of us played ups and downs, splashing, and passing Bevan between us. He loved it and is a true water baby. Both Jack and I took turns having a swim. It's wonderful to just lay back and allow yourself to drift. The reef is a good swim out and full of fish. Unfortunately we have no way of taking a look. Jack did a brilliant job in setting all this up but diving gear never crossed his mind.

* * *

I realised today that Bevan has a new game. It's called the disappearing game. We have a highchair for him. He's sitting so well now, we put him there for a few moments while we tidy up and need both sets of hands free. We place a number of toys for him to chew to keep him entertained. One is quite large and has a sucker on the bottom. It's got all sorts of things on it that can make noises of which he takes no notice of whatsoever. What Bevan does is throw all his toys one by one on the floor. Each time he looks down to see where it falls. Jack and I, basically whoever is closest, will pick it up and within moments Bevan throws it down again.

I can't recall how many toys I picked up when I happened to turn and saw him give a great big smile then toss the toy. The three of us, not sure which is the biggest kid here, or who had the most fun; Bevan who is developing keen throwing skills or Jack and I for playing along. Jack then pointed out why Bevan didn't like the big toy; it was because he couldn't remove it and throw it on the floor.

* * *

Today I am recovering from an overabundance from the delights of the garden. Greed is a terrible mistress. The consequences are painful, smelly, noisy and frequent. I had a bad night so Jack has taken Bevan for a few hours so I can have the place to myself. My dignity cried out for some space but having time to think is not something I want.

In seven weeks our time here will come to an end. I know it sounds a lot, nearly two months, but then reality will come crashing down. Bevan has to be returned. There is no way around this fact. Time lines are fragile and some things cannot be changed.

And I thought dying was hard. Giving up a child you love and adore even with the knowledge that within hours Jack is bringing him back...

Once all I knew about him was represented by a small plastic dinosaur buried in sandpit. I observed him that day at the picnic aching inside for any kind of connection. Now I know everything about him I've held him in my arms, seen his first smile, and met his every need. I've kissed every finger and toe and the tiny birth mark on the small on his back. Had him sleep on my chest, his fingers caught in my chest hair. Bounced him on my knee, fed him bananas he's spread over his entire face. Helped him bring his first tooth into the world and eased his pain. Made him laugh, blown raspberries on his tummy, sang him songs, soothed his tummy upsets and grumbles. Having to give Bevan back is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know he goes to good people ( I don't want to think about her) especially Rhys, and that he will be surrounded with love. He will be the centre of their attention but it won't be me.

I have this internal battle and every day it gets a little harder to not let this show. I don't want to dwell on this while Bevan is still here and ruin the time we have left. Every day has to count like it's the last. I wanted to give him a gift but he has given me far more than I could write in this journal. He has lifted my depression, and given me hope for the future. To get to that future I have to say goodbye to this slice of impossibility. An absurdity granted by a man who wrecked my life then has moved time to give me ten months. Confused doesn't begin to cover how I feel.

* * *

It's been my goal to walk around the island's entire circumference and today I finally achieved it. It took one hour and seven minutes if I don't count all the stops I took. This island is tear-shaped with a continuous beach. It's hard to believe that this is all a complete fabrication.

The home beach is white sand complete with overhanging palm-type trees. It has a lagoon which slopes away that allows for some great swims or just splashing about. It's like someone took a picture of the most ideal tropical paradise on Earth and replicated it perfectly. I walked, keeping the island to my left, and our usual gaggle of onlookers kept me company. We both had our eyes open for unexpected treasure (an undiscovered Wongai tree.) Soon I was at Jack's bay; I looked up and could just make out the sleep-out amongst the trees. Leaving this behind I set up a good pace until I figured I was halfway around.

I was just beginning to consider a swim when I saw a sliver of sliver cutting shallow channel down towards the sea. The stream disappeared deep into the undergrowth. Pushing my way through I followed and came to a spring bubbling up around several rocks creating a small pool. The light from the sun penetrated in deep shafts. The pattern of light on the water and the coolness of the shade lulled me into enjoying a moment of peace.

I was in no hurry to move on, because the purpose of my walk was to give Jack some time alone with Bevan. In less than a week Bevan will be gone. Our time here as a family will be over. I am handling this as I always have; I put a brave face on and bury my emotions.

I understand that Jack will bring Bevan back, but the relationship we have right now will be over. I will be a stranger, Jack will be Uncle Jack and not Daddy and I won't be Taddy. That special bond that we share will be lost.

Regardless of our terrible past, Jack is a wonderful father. I wouldn't be half the father I am if it wasn't for Jack's support or his advice. It's not just confidence in knowing what he's doing. Jack loves him, and I keep asking myself why Jack chose to give him up when every day I experience just how much he adores him. Why did Jack not tell me about him then go to all this trouble to create this bubble of time? Why did he save my life?

There is so much unresolved and unsaid. But to do so would break the spell of this place completely. I'm in love with the illusion - call it delusion - of us as a family.

Today was something I could give Jack before this all turns to shit. I know it will, we have both held ourselves in check. He knows it and I know it. There is so much to consider. One of the best things about dying is everything comes down to reducing your choices to a singularity. It sharpens the mind to what's truly important. Now that I'm most likely going to live, what now?


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Authors note**: I apologise for the delay. I could not get this chapter right. I needed time to think it through. Secondly I have been remiss in replying to all of you who have reviewed the last chapter please accept my apologies. If I missed replying to any review, thank you for taking the time to review.

Chapter Rated Adult

* * *

**Twelve.**

John squeezed his way through the hole in the railway line fence. All indications were Jack was a few meters away. Jack had taken off just after he had returned from dropping off Bevan with Rhys and Gwen. It had taken several hours to track him down. At the time John had been relieved. There was only so much of emotional distress he could handle. It wasn't that he didn't care but it was all very sad. At first Jack had been strong for Ianto but then Jack had to cope on his own. Jack's bearing and the look in his eyes was enough to tell him Jack needed time. Time they didn't have, which was ironic because time was a quantity Jack had an eternity of and John played with to his advantage. Hours had been wasted as Jack pulled himself together. The problem was, as much as time came into play in this drama time was running out on this time line; running out because Jack had crossed himself too many times. It all added up. Jack needed to be out of there before 'now Jack' turned up in the vicinity.

**"**You know it's a pain in the arse when you turn off your locator. I had to track you down using the medical bracelet's weak signal. Which is another sign of my brilliance," John announced. John followed Jack's gaze. "You should know throwing yourself on the lines or in front of a train is really going to freak out the natives."

"Well a freak is what I am," Jack replied after several moments.

"I thought you were working on all that. You know...the punch bag, the books, journaling, the endless talking. I thought it was meant to help?"

"Being there, in that place the three of us as a family, it's a delusion." John cursed under his breath as Jack spoke knowing Jack would not move until he had worked through this.

"I've come up with a plan. You have to help me." Jack turned to face John. "Ianto, Bevan and me. I can make us a real family. We can do it." He pointed between himself and John

John shook his head. He had heard it all before and fought not to roll his eyes as he wondered which variation of the plan Jack had come up this time round. It was a plan born of desperation that Jack generated when he brooded on the festering combination of his betrayal of Ianto and the loss of the future that could have been, represented by Bevan.

"I only need five hours then time will right itself." Jack paused to think. "No you have to come too. We tie him, me up. Kick Gwen out. I take my place; he will be me and I will be him. And, and I make this right. He walks in." Jack moved to demonstrate the space in his Hub office, his movements acting out the scene. "I'm sitting at my desk. I get up and take him in my arms. First I admit I've noticed something's been wrong. He tells me. I embrace him and I pledge I'll be there for him. I go down on my knees and beg for forgiveness for not seeing how much pain he's been in. I prove my love in every word and deed that follows. Then we find out about Bevan together. It will be a shock but I tell Ianto how much I want us to be a family, that Bevan is a gift I've longed to give him. I know Bevan will give him a new focus and maybe the first chemo will work. If not then I make every day count. I'll fight to get him on the second trial. He lives, and we talk, really talk. I explain what happened to me with the Master and Gray." Jack began to speak even faster, as if the faster he spoke the more persuasive he would be. "I can save Steven, my daughter ...we can all be a family for real, Ianto, me, and Bevan. Bevan and Steven they can grow up together."

"You know I can't," John declared as he had a hundred times before and braced himself for stage two.

"This is partly your fault. You owe me!" Jack stated vehemently.

"I've taken responsibility for Gray," John snapped back "I've done everything you asked and more. I've been at your beck and call for months. You call, I come. You know damn well there are some rules even a maniac like me can't break. Some things can't he changed, Jack. You can't save him or anyone from the pain of events already past."

"I have to. I couldn't save Tosh or Owen but I can save Ianto and Steven. Please. We could be a real family."

"Some things are the way they are, Jack. It's not possible to fix this, not everyone can be saved."

"What's the point of being a Time Agent then if I can't save the people who matter the most to me?" Jack retorted.

"I can't, Jack. You know the rules."

"Rules! When did you ever follow the rules? I don't recall you following any rules when you used Gray against me."

"Low blow, Jack."

"Then help me!" Jack pleaded.

"Jack, you and I would both pay the price for any deviation. We are not just talking about you and me getting caught in a time loop; it would be every player. It could mean the end of the space-time continuum. We are talking the end of all life in this part of the universe. Even the most minor deviation from the path we have to follow could be devastating."

"Steven dies, my daughter loses her only child, Ianto loses, Bevan loses, and they all have to pay because of my sins."

John relaxed his shoulders as they moved onto stage three of Jack's meltdown and knew he could move Jack out of this by becoming combative. "Listen, I've heard enough of this. Not everything here is your fault entirely. But then again you always were an arrogant prick."

Jack looked at John sharply at the sudden turn of the conversation.

"It's one thing to take responsibility for your part but everything? That is pure arrogance. Not everything is under your control or your fault. Immortality does not make you a god. You fucked up Jack; you had a breakdown, more than one, the only person who doesn't seem to understand that you were dealt a rotten set of cards, is you." John pushed his finger into Jack's chest "You can't change the past, but you have control over the future or what the fuck have we been doing the past months?"

John straightened up as his vortex manipulator began to beep out a warning. Time lines were converging. He then lifted his wrist and flipped open it open. "We have to move now." He punched in a sequence and they both disappeared in a haze of purple.

* * *

"This is not Cardiff?" Jack pointed out looking around. They were back on the island, mid-afternoon by the angle of the sun.

John checked his device.

"And when are we?" Jack found his question answered as they saw Ianto dressed in tropical beach shorts, heading towards them down the path from the house at a run.

"Have I told you how much eye candy has become Eye Candy?" John said in a weak voice, unable to tear his eyes from Ianto as he progressed towards them.

"Where's Bevan?" Ianto shouted out as he approached them.

"Time convergence issue," John began to explain.

"Time what?" Ianto repeated as he now reached them.

"Too many Jacks in the same time line. Normally not an issue unless you are trying to make a time jump. It means it caused the fail safe to kick in. The fail safe was instructed to bring us here two hours after we left," John explained.

"You can do this try again, right? " Ianto looked between John and Jack his face creased with concern.

John shook his head. "Right now the time circuitry is drained and needs to recharge."

"Once that happened you can try again," Ianto looked at Jack who was very pale.

"How long?" Ianto asked biting his thumb.

"At least two days?"

"Good. We try again. I need.." Jack stopped mid-sentence started down the shoreline towards his cove.

"Jack, wait!" Ianto called out as he tried to catch up with him, his feet dragging in the sand.

"It's been a rough day." Ianto said as he reached Jack's side.

"Yes it has," Jack said through tight lips.

Ianto put his hand on Jack's elbow "What happened when you took Bevan back? Was he okay? I mean you look terrible, are you, did anything happen, did he settle ..."

Jack looked past Ianto and gazed into the distance. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know this is not good timing. I've made us a meal; I thought Bevan was coming. Now he's not here maybe it's perfect timing." He took a breath. "I think we should talk. I was thinking we could use the time to just talk about today and share, we need to talk, really talk." Ianto came to a halt as Jack turned to face him, his face screwed up in what looked like disgust.

"I don't want to talk. I don't want company. I want to be left alone," Jack shouted through gritted teeth and pushed his way past Ianto then started to increase his pace until he was almost running.

"Just leave me alone," he shouted back.

Ianto watched as Jack retreated. Why had he thought anything over the past months had changed? Jack was hurting he could see that. He had reached out and once again Jack had pushed him away. He let out a heavy sigh.

After Jack had left, losing Bevan, then regaining Bevan had become the starting point in his thinking. He went back to his thoughts by the pool about what he wanted. What he wanted was for them to be a family. Was it possible to rebuild? No, he had corrected himself, it might be possible to create something new based on the past few months? It would be incredibly hard work but it could be done and the reward spoke for itself. As he had packed Bevan's things away and started to prepare the thought had gained strength. He and Jack needed a restart, a new beginning. Bringing Bevan back could be that starting point.

Jack disappeared out of view as the beach curved and Ianto felt the tiny bubble of hope that he had allowed to build burst. _'No, there are no new beginnings only more of the same shit being dished up.' _ He felt like smacking himself on the side of his head. "_Idiot, I am an idiot with a capital I. This island, the last ten months was a fantasy, a deluded stupid fantasy, a fucking deluded, fucking fantasy._"

* * *

"Listen, is there anywhere on this godforsaken hole I can get a drink?" John said as Ianto rejoined him.

"If there was I would head there myself," Ianto said grimly as they started up the path towards the house.

"Are you telling me there is not even any medical alcohol we can raid?"

"Medical wipes," Ianto offered.

"Medical wipes," John repeated thoughtfully.

" We do have some of that liquid hand sanitiser." Ianto joked.

"Too bitter," John said in a tone that suggested John was being serious.

"Well if you are that desperate there is a tree, from the goings-on of the natives," Ianto pointed to the several of their followers, "the overripe fruit has one hell of a kick."

Johns face lit up and he stopped and demonstrated the size between his thumb and forefinger. "Oblong, purple, shiny outer skin and as it gets really ripe it swells and goes deep red?"

"Sounds like Wongai fruit," Ianto pointed out.

"You have Wongai fruit trees on this island?"

"Yeah, I'm a bit of an addict, but I avoid the overripe ones because I've had a couple of uncomfortable experiences caused by bad fruit. Right now just about every Wongai seems to be overripe. I figured it's the end of the season so I'm waiting for…"

"Take me to the nearest tree," John demanded.

* * *

Reaching his cove Jack stopped to catch his breath and he found his thinking clearing. He used a tree for support as his breathing slowed and the twist in his gut seemed to ease. The screaming of Steven's death cry, which still haunted him, was ringing in his ears. He looked around; he was near his hut. Sanctuary...he was almost there.

"What had Ianto wanted?" he asked himself and he went over the altercation on the beach. The hush of the waves brought him a moment of peace.

Something about a meal, and wanting to talk. He felt a horrible sinking feeling. Ianto had wanted to talk. Jack felt cold as a shiver seemed to infect his whole body as the scene now played out fully in his mind. Ianto had reached out and he had pushed him away.

Straightening himself up he headed back down the beach. He cursed when he saw it was empty. It wasn't too late; Ianto said something about a meal. He looked up at the house. He couldn't see any movement through the waving palm branches. Moving again he raced up the path, pushing aside the growth that seemed to take on a life of its own as he crashed through.

He took the steps almost as one. The small table was laid out, a small area set aside for Bevan, but Ianto was not here and he sank into the swing seat.

* * *

Being careful not to spill a drop Ianto took a sip from the sliced off top of the round red fruit. He fought to stop the groan of ecstasy passing his lips without success. Wongai fruit were delicious but this was a whole new taste sensation. The juice had the same divine tang but was enhanced by a sort of fizz. Not like a soda which has bubbles, the fizz gently exploded as it hit the inside of his mouth. The sensation as he swallowed was like no other and he could feel the bubbling all the way down.

"Wow," was all he could say as he drained it.

"And you had no idea?" John handed him another opened fruit.

"Nope." Ianto tipped his head back and sucked out the contents and then groaned.

"What?"

"I was thinking about all the fruit I just left hanging there." He sucked on the fruit to gain the last few drops.

"Let's make a pledge," John said his eyes shining. "To not let another ripe Wongai to go undrunk."

"Agreed," Ianto said and in honour of the pledge they smashed the two empty fruits into each other in a high five and threw them to the ground.

Ianto picked off another fruit and handed it to John and then picked one for himself.

"And further," Ianto bit of the top of the fruit in his hand, "our mission today is if you choose to accept it is to drink this whole island dry."

"I accept your challenge. Wongai!" John shouted out.

"WONGAI!" Ianto joined him, shouting so loud it caused the normal gaggle of followers to start jumping from tree to tree in excitement.

* * *

A shout caught Jack's attention followed by the excited twittering of the blue monkey squirrels. John and Ianto were somewhere below him. By the sounds of it they were harvesting the ripe Wongai fruit if the constant cries that were coming up were anything to go by. Maybe he could go and join them but he stopped himself. He was poor company and drinking would not help. Better head back and deal with this tomorrow. He paused for a moment should he leave Ianto a note saying he was sorry. No, he told himself, Ianto deserved an apology in person. With slow heavy steps he made his way back down the path.

* * *

"Is this the second or third tree?" Ianto slurred as they crashed their way through the undergrowth.

"Third," John replied as the next tree came into view. It was laden with apple-sized red fruit Christmas tree ornaments begging to be picked.

Ianto reached out to pick a fruit to find John up close his hand on the small of his back.

"Eye Candy," John raised his eyebrows as Ianto pulled at the nearest fruit.

"The name is Ianto," Ianto found John's cheek rubbing against his.

"Did I mention just how good you look?" John ran his hands over Ianto's shoulders and traced a finger down Ianto's back.

"I've been working out." Ianto now turned to face him.

"And just how many sits-ups a day did it take to define this?" The hands now ran over Ianto's abdomen.

"I did a lot of sit-ups and swimming, climbing trees…"

John draped his arms over his shoulders and pushed his face in closer.

"Well it worked, Eye Candy." Ianto could feel the heat radiating from John's lips. He struggled to find words to correct him when their lips touched. Tentative at first, desire built with every passing moment. They drew back for a moment then kissed hungrily tasting the tang of their desire mingled with a tingle of the fruit drink.

Months of pent-up lust seemed to crash in on Ianto and all he wanted to devour this man. His pushed his erection into John, desperate for some friction and found the thrust returned.

"Are you sure?" John pulled back for moment when their kiss broke for them to catch their breaths.

"I'm drunk, but not that drunk and I want this." Ianto placed his hand behind John's neck and pulled in and began to eat his lips and tongue.

John pushed himself into Ianto. He slipped his hand down and brushed his fingertips across the head of Ianto's member. Ianto shuddered and experience told John the man had almost exploded on first contact. He opened his eyes and saw a look of concern looking back.

"You should know it's been a long time. This is going to be over real fast."

John pulled his hand out and gently kissed Ianto on the lips. Ianto went to speak but John placed a finger across Ianto's lips. Reaching down he took out a small vial from his trouser pocket. Snapping it in half he licked his small finger and shook out half then brought it up to Ianto's mouth.

"Do you trust me?"

"No."

"Good." John gave Ianto a twisted smile and snatched a quick kiss.

"What is it?" Ianto said his curiosity overcoming all else in that moment.

"I could lie to you and tell you this is some famous preparation made from various venoms that enhance sexual performance but it is strictly man or should I say alien made. No lies between us, this will be good, better than good because I want you so bad it hurts. I want to fuck you Jones from one side of this island to the other. I want your cum all over me, I want you to ride me, I want to scream out your name, I want to blow your cock and blow your mind. This preparation will allow us to fuck and fuck and fuck."

Ianto moved forward open-mouthed and took the finger and sucked off the substance. John slowly withdrew his finger and shook the remainder of the power and licked it off.

Sinking to his knees he pulled down Ianto's shorts exposing his throbbing cock.

He leaned in and pushed his face into Ianto's crotch and took a deep long sniff. "I've wanted to suck you off from the first moments I laid my eyes on you. So come hard and fast Ianto, fill my throat." Ianto was close, very close small drops of semen were dripping from the head. John licked them off before taking him down to the root.

Ianto threw his head back as he felt his whole being begin to pulse in time with the movements of John's mouth. Something released within and he felt a dam break. He cried out as his orgasm rippled forth in waves, each one crashing into the shore line and surging back out to sea until nothing but gentle ripples remained fading into nothingness.

He found himself on the ground breathless, John beside him kissing his way down his body.

Within moments of his release he felt desire and want begin to build with even more force. He pulled John in closer together and rolled until John was on his back and Ianto was straddling him.

"Fuck me," Ianto urged.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Thirteen**

* * *

Opening his eyes, Ianto saw a face looking down and smiling at him. A carton of juice was thrust forward. Taking the carton, then sitting, he took a long deep sip. Wiping his hand over his mouth he took a look around. Exhausted, they had fallen asleep entangled on a soft patch of grass under a palm tree right on the edge of the beach.

Ianto felt so mellow; he moved and a twinge caught him. He bit his lip as he recalled the surreal experience of the last few hours. Glancing down he saw the stains of their activities mingled with the juice of Wongai fruit cocktails. The recreational pleasure drug he had taken had given him an appetite and stamina that was most satisfying. John had explained it was designed to get maximum pleasure over a short time frame. Ianto approved. True to John's word they had fucked and fucked and fucked. For the first in a long time sex had been a pleasurable activity. John was skilled and had literally known how to heighten every caress.

Pulling himself up he stretched, noting he was sore in all the usual places. Not too sore; one thing you could say about John was he came prepared.

"Last one to the reef is a rotten Wongai!" John shot passed him and splashed into the sea.

Not to be outdone Ianto thundered after him. Just as John reached the water's edge Ianto felled him with a flying tackle. They rolled around in the waves in a mock fight then washed each other off. Laughing, they splashed and tried to out-dodge each other.

"Am I meant to feel this good?" Ianto asked, his hands on his knees catching his breath.

"I'll take that as a compliment." John ran his hand up the back of Ianto's leg as they stood half in and out of the water.

Ianto pulled him into a salty kiss.

"Ianto Jones. I made you feel good," John declared as the pulled Ianto forward into another tussle.

"I thought I was Eye Candy."

"That you are Ianto Jones." John pulled away. "You are Eye Candy, and now I know what you were hiding under that suit I say you are Eye Candy supreme."

"What is it with men from the fifty-first century and suits?"

"Listen, suits will never go out of fashion and your arse in a suit," John whistled. "I know a masterpiece when I see one. Trust me Ianto your body in a suit, waistcoat, and tie...wow."

Ianto was forming a reply when John's stomach turned over in an audible growl.

"Breakfast is on me." Ianto stood up and offered his hand.

"On you?"

Ianto rolled his eyes.

* * *

John looked over the huge plate of food in front of him, picked up his knife and fork and dug in. It had been a long time since anyone had cooked him a home-cooked meal. It had been a very long time and like the night before he was going to enjoy every mouthfull.

"It's that real coffee I smell?" John sniffed the air as he loaded up his fork and saw Ianto smile.

A few moments later more toast and a flask filled with dark heavenly liquid was placed in the centre of the table. John leaned over, picked up the flask and poured himself a mug full. Ianto watched amused as John added at least four teaspoons of sugar. "I need the energy. You wore me out."

"Really?

"Really," John replied, taking a good drink of his coffee. "You keep this up and I might have to give up being a scoundrel and start wooing you."

"Wooing," Ianto burst out laughing

"You know...dinner, making out, ending with me cooking you breakfast." John raised his eyebrows as he broke into the fried egg.

"So you know I like dark coffee chocolates, I'm partial to hot curries, but I draw the line at flowers." Ianto sat down with an equally loaded plate. "Can't see you as someone who would settle down." Ianto slid a piece of toast under his egg.

"You're right Ianto, stop tempting me," John growled and attacked his food. Moments passed as they concentrated on eating.

"Wooing, that's an old-fashioned concept, I haven't heard that word out side of Jane Austen novel." Ianto took a sip of coffee.

"Jane who?"

"Jane Austen. She wrote romantic fiction set the 18th Century. It's like dating only more serious."

"Serious dating," John chased several mushrooms around the plate."Romantic fiction...is there something you're not telling me?" John raised his eyebrows.

"Not that I would know," Ianto corrected him hurriedly. "Girlfriend had this novel and the DVD's of ' Pride and Prejudice'. The two main characters meet, she thinks he's too full of pride and he has prejudice against her and vice versa. It all gets really complicated…

"I see," John said and Ianto realised he has said too much and Ianto wiped his hand over his face. "I think a confession is in order."

"All right. I admit it I had a thing for Colin Firth. He played Mr Darcy. He was all tall and manly," Ianto confessed.

'Tall and manly," John repeated, trying not to laugh as a flush began to creep over Ianto's chest.

"I have no idea why I'm telling you this but… there was this one scene when he was coming home, he stripped off and dived in this pool. Later he was all dripping wet and his shirt was clinging.." Ianto paused in recollection. He looked up and saw the look of bemusement on Johns face. "Anyway you were saying something about wooing..." The conversation was interrupted as Jack entered the room. He looked between the pair and tossed the bracelet he normally wore into the middle of the table.

"I think we had better get moving," Jack stated. Ianto watched as Jack turned and went and stood on the decking, his arms crossed.

Ianto picked up the bracelet and he took a final swig of coffee.

"I'll go find my clothes." John drained his mug. As he passed he leaned over and gave Ianto a gentle kiss. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Pan is still hot, Jack. Do you want some?" Ianto called out as he twiddled the bracelet between his fingers. He examined his own and found it could be removed. He had been wearing it so long he had forgotten it was there.

"No we've wasted enough time," Jack called back.

"Why now?" Ianto asked.

"Why not, now's a good a time as any."

"What's your problem?" Ianto asked surprised at Jack's sharp tone.

"I don't have any problems," Jack snapped back.

Ianto handed him the bracelet. "So what's this all about?"

"I figured you should suffer from your own hangover," Jack replied, looking away, trying to stifle the anger he was struggling to contain.

"Hangover… what the hell you are talking about?"

"It doesn't matter." Jack turned to face Ianto, looking him up and down. "Hadn't you better get dressed?"

"You walk in here, throw this at me like some kind of challenge and it doesn't matter?" Ianto retorted.

"That's right, it doesn't," Jack replied moderating his tone. On the way the way here he had talked himself into not reacting. Ianto had every right to have sex with whoever he wanted; even John. It was not like Jack had any prior claim but walking in on the pair of them looking so comfortable all his good intentions had fallen away.

Ianto held up the bracelet. "Your comment was 'I'm to suffer the consequences of my own hangover.' So what does this do then?"

"Forget it, Ianto. I overreacted."

"Overreacted to what?" Jack closed his eyes for a second and opened them to see fury flash across Ianto's eyes. "You miserable, cocksucking, wanker. This is about last night. I'm not beholden to you." Ianto pointed his finger at Jack. "And when we were together you fucked whoever you wanted..." Ianto spluttered as fury affected his speech.

"That's not it," Jack tried to recover.

"Yes, it fucking well is. Do you know what Jack? I hope you heard every fucking sound we made."

"Well it was hard to miss," Jack found himself replying.

"I tell you what John is a better lover than you ever were."

"Oh really."

"And I tell you what I figured out what I was missing all this time because you were a taker. You just took and took and you never once asked me what I wanted or what I might enjoy."

"Is that what this is? You getting some payback?" The words flew past Jack's lips before he could censor himself.

Ianto pushed is face into Jack's. "If I wanted payback I would have told John I loved him." Jack went pale. "I stood there watching the pair of you, while you spoke the three words I longed to hear to her, not just once but over and over again."

"I've handled this very badly," Jack admitted

"No shit," Ianto retorted.

"Just seeing him and you..."

"Remember Jack these are your rules. You get to fuck whoever you want because you're from the fifty-first century where love and commitment are some kind of laughable old-fashioned nonsense. But if I do exactly the same, you have the audacity to start acting like a jealous lover."

"Ianto, we need to talk," Jack said with an edge of desperation to his voice.

"Now you want to talk? You destroy all and any affection I had for you. I don't see you for years. Then you crash into my flat, rough me up and accuse me of the most heinous act I can think of. What is worse is you would have walked out and still denied me my son if Rhys hadn't confronted you. Then within twenty-four hours you put on your hero act, saving my life and setting this all up. We spend months together. I get to thinking maybe we could work something out. But no, your precious time is more important that anything I might have to offer. We were both hurting Jack but when it came down to it your pain was more important. Once again I reach out and you turn your back on me and walk away like I'm invisible."

"Ianto, there is so much to tell you. I got back yesterday and I had a sort of a meltdown. It was so hard having to hand over Bevan it trigged a very bad memory, something happened… terrible and they...he...died," Jack struggled to explain.

Ianto he felt a gob of bile rise into his throat. "Everyone pays the price for knowing you Jack. You are toxic, you end up destroying everyone. Either their lives are ruined or they die. You should be used it by now…"

Jack spun round and took Ianto by the upper arms. "I had to kill my own Grandson. Steven, a boy I loved like I love Bevan. And I killed him. He looked at me, trust in his eyes and I betrayed him. I had to stand there, while his mother tried to tear a hole in the wall with her bare hands to get to him. My own daughter, Ianto. I lost everything. So I know about death. I had to leave my own son, only four days old, to try and save the world. The price I paid was that every child got to live except my grandson. A grandson I had to sacrifice by my own hand. All I could hear yesterday was his death cry and my daughter screaming at me that I am freak, a FREAK!"

Jack tore himself away and threw himself down the steps. Ianto watched as Jack took off down the path back towards his cove, passing John who stepped out of his way.

"I think it's time you two really talked," John said as he joined Ianto on the deck.

Shaken by Jack's revelation, Ianto nodded. Grapping a pair of shorts and tee-shirt he hurried after Jack down the path.

* * *

Ianto found Jack where he suspected, leaning against one of the trees that surrounded his small dwelling, looking into the distance.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I shouldn't have said what I did."

Jack wiped his face dry. "You were only saying the truth. Everyone pays the price, one way or another."

"I am truly sorry. I had no idea about your grandson."

"I killed him, Ianto; it was him or every child on earth."

"Was there no other choice?"

"We had only seconds. It was him or millions of children,"

"That's terrible, Jack."

"What's worse is he didn't know I was his grandfather. I'm the family skeleton in the closet, the big family secret," Jack did air quotes as he spoke.

"I don't know what to say, Jack."

"I read your letter." Ianto looked confused. "Your letter to Rhys. You were right. Bevan deserves a normal life. I want him to live. I've made a decision. Once I've picked up Bevan and brought him back here I'm leaving. John will make sure you both get back. I know Rhys wants to work something out; shared custody. I'll leave money and instructions with my lawyer."

"I don't see how running away is going to help."

"You are right; I'm toxic. To save you both I need to leave."

"This is fucked up, Jack. There is so much I don't understand."

"I'm out of my mind, Ianto."

"I won't argue that some of your actions appear mad. You never confided in me, how do you expect me to accept what you are saying now?"

"I thought you would be well rid of me?"

"I was angry, Jack. I made a mistake. I talked myself into thinking that maybe we could sort things out between us. I convinced myself of something that was not real." Ianto gestured with his hand. "All this, it's like living in a bubble. Bevan...all we shared lured me into false hope that you might feel the same way,"

Jack looked at Ianto sharply. "I did all this because you deserved a second chance. You were right, I robbed you of him."

"This is what I don't understand, Jack. In our last months together you did everything in your power to push me away. You killed the love I had for you more surely than a bullet through the heart. I am beginning to understand why you gave Bevan to Rhys and her. I am so confused. You save my life and bring me here you create time for me with Bevan. If you went to so much effort now why didn't you just turn up with him and say, 'this is our son and he is beautiful'?"

"I have taken full responsibility, Ianto. Have I ever defended myself to you or anyone? I know what I did," Jack said, losing the small amount of control he held onto.

"How does that answer my question?"

Jack shook his head.

"This is what is so frustrating, Jack. You can't - or won't - talk to me. All I know is that one moment you push me away, and then you pull me back in. I can't work out if the way you acted towards me over the past ten months is genuine or just some ego trip on your part."

"That's not it."

"Which part, Jack? The pushing away or the last ten months?"

"Both."

"So we're back to where we started, Jack."

"I heard what you said, Ianto. I am guilty as charged. Not only did I rob you of your son, my actions meant you lived a nightmare alone when all you wanted was the support of the person you loved. You have no idea how much I regret what you went through the last three years. The reason I did this was to give you back something that should have been yours by right."

"I hear you Jack, but it doesn't answer my question to why you didn't just turn up with Bevan in the first place. Sure, there would have been one hell of a row. I might not have believed you but a DNA test would have resolved his paternity once and for all. What I'm trying to say is Jack I would never have rejected him."

"I know," Jack said sadly.

"So where do we go from here?"

Several moments passed and it was clear Jack was not going to reply. Ianto was loath to leave Jack in this state, not after his declaration about Steven.

Ianto moved in beside Jack and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I 'm going down to the cove to give you some time to think. I know I'm the last person you want to speak to after what I said, but I'm asking you, Jack, please talk to me." Jack watched as Ianto took the thin path through the foliage, and made himself comfortable on the sand.

Ianto counted the hours as the sun crept across the beach and the tide went out, exposing several small outcrops of rock. . The waves were lapping their way back up the beach when Jack sat next down to him and offered him several Wongai fruit.

"Thanks," Ianto said as he broke into the first one.

"You are right to be confused. I'm confused. It's taken me months to figure out how I let things get so out of control. I wish there was a simple explanation but there is so much of this, it's interwoven."

"Jack, you can't live the kind of the life you've had and it not be complicated."

Jack brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around his knees as if bracing himself then began to speak. "I have this curse, Ianto. I can't die. One moment I was dead then I was alive." Jack went onto to explain what occurred on Satellite Five and his arrival on Earth and subsequent wait. "Over a hundred years later when I caught up with him. He called me wrong. All that time waiting to be told I'm a spatial anomaly whose very presence causes pain to the one being I admired above all others."

"Then during the time I was with the Doctor I got caught up a nightmare. I was captured by another Time Lord, like the Doctor. The Master played on my deepest fears. I was a spectacle for his amusement. A freak show. My freakdom was used as an excuse for every ill he perceived. I was the scapegoat he took out his anger on. Where he was finished his guards took over. I was a party favour. Having a bad day? Just takes it out on Jack," he said with a snarl.

"That is terrible," Ianto listened in shock and noted this was the second time Jack used the phrase 'freak.'

"I thought I could cope. I'm a soldier. I survived several wars. It was a hard year, but World War One, Two I've been in other war zones not ..."

"God, a year, Jack," Ianto burst out as he realised the implications of what was a throwaway comment.

"A year, and when I returned everything was back to normal. As normal as Torchwood could ever be. I was home. Owen, Tosh, Gwen. You." He reached out to touch Ianto's face but drew back. "It's where I wanted to be and it helped, it really did. Every day was a little better." Jack became still and some time passed before he spoke again.

"Do want to know what hell is?" Jack said so quietly Ianto almost missed the words over the waves. "I've been there. I lived being buried alive for two thousand years." Jack's voice took on a faraway quality. "Something happened to me."

Ianto looked at Jack in alarm, "but I thought, you were in some sort of a trance," he saw Jack shake his head. "You were conscious, aware?" Ianto blurted out.

"I don't think part of me survived, Ianto. The man who was dug out had become the freak the Master told me I was. "

Jacks voice began to boom out like he was a showman in a fairground. "Jack Harkness! Come one and come all and see the 'Freak'! There's the Doctor, the Master and his creature from beyond time."

"I never saw you as a freak, Jack: not now, not ever. I've been steaming fucking spit angry but I never saw you as anything but human," Ianto assured him.

"I know," Jack said in a shuddered breath. "You didn't see? How could you be so blind? I had to show you who I really was. Nothing I did would convince you." Jack broke down.

"Every time I hurt you my true self emerged and I fought with my self-hatred and begged for forgiveness, vowing that I would never hurt you again, but within hours the twisted part of me broke through even stronger. In the end it drove me to do the one thing I knew would open your eyes. When you walked in that day I knew that my perversion was complete and at last you had seen me as I truly was.

"I convinced myself that you had escaped from me. You moved on and found the life and love you deserved. After Martha came back and she told me about your conversation, I was so twisted inside I took this as the final piece of evidence you would never want anything to do with Bevan because of who **I **was. He was all I had left of you. I needed to protect him. To do that I had get as far away as possible. In desperation I tried to find my daughter, but she had completely disappeared. In the end there was no choice, it was give him up for adoption or leave him with people I knew."

"It was not until each word you spoke in the garage caused the shell I created to shatter. Not only had I stolen your son from you, you had been suffering your own nightmare. You have no idea how much I regret; not just Bevan but not giving you the support and time you needed to deal with your illness. I tried to put this right by bringing Bevan here, making sure you were looked after. Give you the second chance that should have been yours in the first place."

Reeling from Jack's disclosures Ianto moved next to Jack and took him into his arms. Jack buried his head in Ianto's shoulder and broke down.

After a time his sobs eased and they drew back.

"This is a lot to take in."

"I'm not asking forgiveness."

"Would it be so terrible if that was what you got?" Ianto responded.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness nor am I seeking it"

"I think the one person you need to forgive is yourself, Jack."

'Where do we go from here?" Jack repeated Ianto's question from earlier.

"That; I don't know. When I arrived I was so angry, bitter, twisted up inside. I was dying. Getting treated and having Bevan here changed all that. I'm in remission. I have a future. What you've told me is a lot to take in. It's huge and it explains so much. One thing I've learned from being ill is to live each day as it comes, good or bad. What I'm saying is let's enjoy having Bevan here, take things as they come and go from there."

"I am sorry about this morning, Ianto. You have every right to sleep with whoever you want, but when I saw you both together being so comfortable with each other I overreacted. I guess I was jealous it wasn't me."

"Only guess?" Ianto teased. They sat for a moment in the sun as the warm breeze gently caressed them

After moment Ianto picked up Jack's hand and kissed it.

"Does this mean?"

"No, it means I have a lot of thinking to do, but I am feeling a lot kinder towards you than I have in a long time."

"So there is hope?"

"Jack, there is always hope." Jack looked at Ianto. Ianto smiled "Yeah, I know. Me, with hope. Who'd have thought it?"

* * *

John watched as Jack and Ianto headed up towards him on the decking. They had been gone for most of the day. Hopefully the emergency session Jack had with his therapist had borne some fruit and he had taken his advice and talked to Ianto.

"Are we all set?" Ianto gave John the thumbs up.

John put his hand behind Ianto's neck and pulled him into a kiss. "Now, Mr Suit Supreme, anytime you want a repeat you just let me know." John winked and pulled back.

Moving back to gain distance John turned his head towards Jack, keeping his gaze firmly on Ianto. "You threw him away for her. You must have been mad."

"Finally someone understands," Jack retorted.

"Completely fucking barking mad," John repeated as he and Jack faded in a haze.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

Bevan heard the knock on the door and a wave of excitement travelled through him. He was going on an adventure, a real big adventure to an island where he could play all day on a beach.

"Daddy," Bevan ran to the front door of Rhys's flat. He stomped in impatience when he saw Rhys was not coming fast enough. "Daddy!" he called out again.

Rhys appeared and Bevan jumped from one foot to another as Rhys looked through the small spy hole then worked the lock and opened the door a crack.

Bevan pulled the door the rest of the way open and threw himself forward to find himself lifted up. "My tiger," Jack enveloped him in his arms and kissed his cheek.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! I'm big hungry tiger like the one who came for tea," Bevan told him.

"You had a tiger come to tea?"

"Not my house in the story," Bevan rolled his eyes. "The tiger came to tea and he ate all the food in the pots, and drank all the water in the taps."

"Are you all set to go?" Jack asked.

"Yes, I'm almost all packed. Daddy has been helping and I'm still trying to decide which of my toys I love best. I am going to take my dinosaur, my big yellow digging truck, and other things." Bevan took a huge breath. "And Daddy made me a book."

"A book?" Jack repeated.

"I'll go and get it!" Bevan wiggled down and took off as soon as his feet hit the ground.

"How is Ianto?" Rhys asked as Bevan disappeared.

"Martha's confirmed he's gone into full remission."

"Thank god," Rhys burst out.

"You wouldn't recognise him He's making a full recovery."

"And Martha's certain?"

"One hundred percent."

"So this really was the big breakthrough." Rhys spent a moment taking in the news when Bevan reappeared with a homemade book, his stuffed dinosaur under his arm, wearing the phone holder Ianto had given him around his neck, complete with the phone just poking out.

"Now I've got a bit of surprise for you," Rhys winked. Jack looked curious as Bevan grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him to the sofa.

"I'm a very lucky boy," Bevan started as they made themselves comfortable and opened the book. "This book is called My Family."

"This is my family I have a Daddy." Bevan opened the book to show a photograph of Rhys, Gwen and Anwen. "And this is my Mummy, and my baby sister." Bevan took a breath and turned the page and Jack saw several pictures of himself. "YOU are my Daddy. And I am very lucky boy because I have another Daddy." Jack looked in shock at the picture of Ianto smiling out at them as Bevan turned over to the next page. "I didn't know he was my Daddy, I just thought he smelt funny. But he gave me Spike and my phone and I came home." Jack listened, his mind whirling as Bevan continued. "When Daddy gave me the book I wanted to call Ianto Daddy to tell him I knowed who he was, but Daddy said the phone wouldn't work because he was too far away but I was going on a big holiday and I could see him then."

Jack gave Bevan into a huge hug. "He is looking forward to seeing you and we have some photos to show you." Jack took Bevan's hand and rubbed the birthmark. "Your Daddy has exactly the same mark on his hand," Jack kissed the spot.

"I'm a very, very, lucky boy. I have three Daddies." He counted them on his fingers. "Rhys Daddy, Jack Daddy and Ianto Daddy."

Jack looked at Rhys, who was smiling. "I thought it was time for him to know the truth, Jack. He's going off to stay with you and Ianto so I got him ready."

"We are very lucky Daddies," Jack told him. Bevan turned the page and pointed at each individual pictures of each one of them in turn.

Now the book revealed more family photographs.

"I have two Granddads, and two Grandmas and I can't wait to meet my other Daddy. I need to go to the toilet," Bevan announced and jumped down from the sofa handing the book to Jack.

Jack stood and pulled Rhys into a hug." I don't know how to thank you."

"Well I'm glad you like the surprise."

"You have no idea what this mean to me for both of us. Seriously Rhys this is huge, bigger than you can imagine."

"He had a right to know and I want all of us to be involved and that can't happen if everyone keeps pussy-footing around the truth."

"And how are you doing?" Jack said, pulling back. "How are things going with Gwen?"

"Gwen's Dad's had a heart attack. But what with all the chaos he's still alive."

"I'm sorry to hear he's had a heart attack."

"You know Gwen; she's off being the dragon at the gate trying to get him the best treatment. To be honest I think she was glad of the excuse." Jack raised his eyebrows. "We started family counselling and the last two sessions she didn't turn up. It's not hard to figure out. The reality is I gave her challenge. I told her she had to front up to everything. I've already called her out on that Doctor Owen. How many others were there? What other lies has she told me? I have a feeling she not wanting to face the truth or me with that truth."

"I'm sorry."

"Early days, it's only been six weeks. However if she's not seriously gonna give it a go then it's over. "

"Six weeks," Jack echoed and wondered if the time differential explained why he was feeling so strange. It was his fourth time jump in as many days so that might explain the terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm still raw about it," Rhys continued. "But being able to look after Anwen and Bevan has been a great help. Moving into my own place. I'm now my own man. I've reworked my times at work, flexi-hours," he moved in close. "Tell you the truth I'm loving it being a full-time dad."

"You going to be okay with Bevan going?"

"Me and my girl have plans. Daddy and Daddy's little girl," Rhys smiled and winked. "Anwen's with my Mum so I'm picking her up tomorrow and we're off on a holiday of our own."

Bevan bounced into the room dressed in sun glasses, swimming shorts, tee-shirt, flip-flops, and sun hat complete with large bucket and spade in one hand, blow-up dolphin in the other and his stuffed dinosaur under his arm. "I'm ready!" he announced.

* * *

Jack handed the bulging suitcase to John. "What's in here?" John asked as the weight took him by surprise.

"I think it's every toy he owns," Jack joked and adjusted the straps of the backpack to see if he could shift the large sharp object digging into his shoulders.

"I didn't know which ones I liked best and I didn't want to leave any in case they got lonely," Bevan piped up. "And I didn't want Anwen playing with any."

"Ah, sister trouble," Jack acknowledged.

"She's always playing with my toys."

"We need to move to get clear of the temporal variance." John indicated across the car park towards the pavement. Jack nodded his understanding. Jumping in, then out from the same coordinates caused a disturbance in the time flow. Moving clear meant a much smoother journey.

They went three steps when Jack took the case from John. "I can't stand it when you moan." He pulled out the handle on the side and tipped the case so it could be pulled along.

"That's new," John said and took the handle.

"We do have luggage with more fancy wheels than this in the fifty-first century," Jack pointed out.

"I meant you really knew how to make me moan," John looked at Bevan "You know, moan...pleasure."

Two steps forward and Jack struggled to come up with a witty but clean response when the air exploded with flashing lights, blinding them. Instinctively Jack reached down for Bevan who wrapped his arms and legs tightly around his neck and waist. Blinking they saw they were surrounded by men in combat gear pointing a variety of heavy armaments in their direction.

"Jack Harkness, you are under arrest for violation of Section Eight under the 456 legislation," an American voice boomed out.

"Who the hell are you?" Jack shielded his eyes in an effort to see.

"Rex Matheson, CIA."

"Listen CIA, I am not going anywhere with you," Jack shouted in the direction of the voice.

Jack heard a snort of derision. "You are under arrest. You have been named in connection with the Miracle Day event."

"Miracle what?"

"Miracle Day. No one on Earth can die. Torchwood's name was flashed around the world, appearing on the screen of every intelligence agency around the world simultaneously."

"Torchwood is dead. Blown up. Ended. Disbanded," Jack explained.

Rex Matheson came into view, a handgun in both hands, facing Jack. "I am extraditing you to the United States of America to face charges and to answer questions as to your and Torchwood's involvement. So hand over the baby, you are coming with me."

Jack felt his jaw lock. "You can sort this mess out yourselves. I've got my own mess to sort out."

"It's your sworn duty to help as a member of the …" A more English-sounding voice rang out.

Jack interrupted. "The last time I got involved I lost my grandson and my daughter."

"The world is in chaos, no-one can die," Rex snarled, moving forward.

"Welcome to the club."

"Is that all you have to say? No one can die! For all I know you are the direct cause."

"I assure you I'm not involved." Jack soothed Bevan who was whimpering.

"So why was the name Torchwood mentioned if you are not involved?"

Jack thought for a moment. "There was this syndicate. They had this worldwide domination thing going called 'The Family'. Start there. Be warned, they have delusions of grandeur far beyond their ability to do any real damage. Maybe they wanted to send you on some kind of wild goose chase as a distraction."

"You are the head of Torchwood."

"You don't need Torchwood. You could create your own team," John piped up before Jack could reply. "You can be the head, it's big enough and you seem to possess the right degree of arrogance. Second, you'll need find a dumb blond. One with heels higher than her IQ, someone so stupid they don't know how to use a computer search engine but looks good and weeps a lot on your shoulder." John snapped his fingers. "You could even call yourselves 'CIA Bikini Cops'. Oh yeah, lots of dumb blonds with big breasts in bikinis. You could take them to California, have them play a lot of volleyball," John said wistfully.

Jack interrupted. "You could start with Gwen Cooper; she's ex-Police and ex-Torchwood."

"Gwen Cooper?" John interrupted looking at Jack as if he was insane; he corrected himself, more insane than usual.

Jack moved in close. "She's would be perfect. She could argue her way across the Atlantic take America by storm. And she could bring the CIA down with one swift kick."

"Daddy I'm scared," Bevan said and Jack rubbed his back.

"Enough of this nonsense. You are coming with me!" Rex lifted his pistol and the others around the circle became ready.

"Nice try CIA," Jack said with a twisted grin.

Rex raced forward as the air around him seemed to swirl and the two men and the child disappeared in some kind of haze.

"What the hell happened?" The commander of the tactical response team asked as he approached Rex.

"Who the hell is Gwen Cooper?" Rex asked.

* * *

The haze cleared and they found themselves on the deck of the house. Ianto rushed forward, his face etched with worry changing to relief as he realised all three were safe and sound.

"You've been gone hours!"

"Sorry about that," John said. "We had escape real fast and I messed up the time co-ordinates."

"Escape?" Ianto moved forward as he looked between them. "What happened?" he added a few moment as he watched Jack hugging Bevan.

"There was big men with guns. I got real scared I really wanted my Mummy and Daddy."

"Big men with guns?" Ianto fought with his anxiety over the evidence before of his eyes that told him Jack, Bevan and John were safe.

"Someone wanted Jack and weren't going to take no for an answer," John explained.

"Bevan's okay," Ianto said trying to resist the urge to take him into his own arms and check him out.

"No just a bit scared," Jack said as Bevan now loosened his grip on Jack and turned to face him. Ianto saw he was wearing the phone holder along with the dinosaur which was under his arm and he smiled.

"Lots of men with guns, that does sound scary," Ianto agreed.

"I was scared. First there was big flashes of lights that made my eyes hurt. When I opened them again there was men all around us dressed in black pointing guns at us. There was a big man who was all brown. They had a big argument then Daddy said they should go and talk with Mummy."

"Rhys was there?" Ianto asked.

"Not exactly," Jack told him.

"The man shouted and told Daddy he had to come then we were here," Bevan looked around. "It was all dark. Now it's day time again." Bevan wiggled down and took Ianto's hand. He spent a moment matching their respective birthmarks.

"You are you," Bevan said.

Ianto went down on his knees. "Yes, I'm me," Ianto said, confused. He looked up at Jack, who was smiling.

"I didn't know you was you. Then when I did, I knew why you gave me my phone and Spike." Bevan handed Spike to Ianto. "I like Spike; he sleeps with me and keeps me safe."

"I very glad you like him."

Bevan let go of Ianto's hand and took the phone from the bag around his neck. "And I like my phone. I play phoning Mummy and Daddy. Then when I knowed, I wanted to call you but Rhys Daddy said you was too far away."

"What is going on?" Ianto said, his heart beating wildly as he saw Jack holding out what looked like a homemade book out.

"Bevan, why don't you show Ianto your book?"

"I'm a very lucky boy," Bevan announced as he took the book. He looked around; seeing the steps he moved and sat down on the top one. Ianto shuffled forward and sat next to him.

"This is my family. I have a Daddy," Bevan opened the book to show a photograph of Rhys, Gwen and Anwen. "And this is my Mummy, and my baby sister."

Jack watched and listened, oblivious of John's departure. All he could see was Bevan and Ianto. He felt strange inside, like some door deep within had opened. Bevan knew the truth. No more hiding. How long had he hidden his true self and feelings in an effort to not just protect himself but protect those he loved? Here before him was all he wanted in the entire universe. He felt a familiar shadow cross his soul. How could he keep them safe from events like today; people with their own agenda wanting their pound of his flesh? It was a wonderful gift but Bevan knowing would make what he had to do so much more difficult. Being here was a wonderful fiction, a moment where 'what if ' met the reality of who Jack was.

Now Ianto was rightly part of Bevan's life. Ianto's face lit up as each page was turned. Ianto deserved this. He had no doubt that Ianto would spend his life giving Bevan the happiness and support he needed to grow. Moving now he picked up the backpack and the case and moved them inside.

* * *

Ianto watched as Bevan took off down the path from the house to the beach. Ianto knew Bevan would live down there if he could. He was up and raring to go with the birds and the blue flying monkey squirrels which seemed to enjoy Bevan as much as he enjoyed them.

"You waited for me, good man," Ianto praised as he reached the fallen trunk of a tree that made a natural barrier to the beach.

Ignoring Ianto, he then jumped over the log and headed a short distance down from the path to where the shore formed a series of natural pools. Bevan had spent hours here building a whole series of streams and dams with his yellow digging truck.

Ianto dumped the armfuls of supplies he was carrying along with a large canvas bag hanging over his shoulder onto the sand. Bevan took his bucket, spade and truck and headed for the biggest pool.

"Is Daddy Jack coming?" Bevan asked for what seemed the one thousandth time that day.

"Just us today," Ianto replied as Bevan turned away but not before Ianto caught the disappointed look on his face.

Despite early excitement about having three dads the reality was something different. He was unsettled which Ianto fully understood. He had thought over Rhys's words from the hospital; in one day Bevan had the foundation on which his world rested on disturbed. Gone was the family he knew. Now his Mum and Dad lived apart, Uncle Jack was his Dad along with a complete stranger. Ianto didn't need to be told Bevan missed Rhys who he called 'Big Daddy'. When he was upset it was Rhys he asked for or Gwen, not Jack or Ianto.

That was what today was about. Jack had made himself scarce so that he and Bevan could have some time alone. Time to build on the fragile bond of who Ianto was. Starting with some fun, Ianto stood.

Moving to the divide where wet sand meets dry Ianto started digging with his hands. He made a hole first. Piling up the sand he now began to shape it. He noticed Bevan had joined him and was watching what he was doing.

"When I was a little boy, my Dad took me to the beach and every time he made me a sand boat." Ianto shaped the sand in front into a bow. Patting it into shape he now turned to the back. "What we need is a steering wheel," Ianto said out loud.

"I think I can find one," Bevan took off and came back a short while with a large flat shell. Ianto had no idea what kind of creature created these but they came in all sorts of sizes from pennies to a dinner plate.

Taking the shell Ianto examined it. "Perfect," he stated and handed it back. "Where did you find such a perfect steering wheel?"

"I found it down there when I was digging." Bevan pointed to where his bucket and spade was.

"Now you need somewhere to sit," Ianto made a ledge. "Okay, hop in"

Bevan needed no urging and he jumped in and placed the steering wheel out front.

"To make this go faster we need to decorate it." Bevan leapt out as Ianto followed and Bevan picked up his bucket. Without a word Bevan raced up the beach and returned with his bucket filled with leaves and small sticks. The next few minutes were taken up with ensuring the boat was covered in the best, go faster, decoration ever. Bevan also added several small shells along the dashboard. Ianto drew in several dials.

"One last thing we need to name the vessel, that's just a fancy word for boat," Ianto added.

"Naughty Monkey."

Ianto took one of the small sticks and wrote SS 'Naughty Monkey' down the side and then along the back.

Bevan jumped in, sat down, and made sounds as the turned over the engine. He changed gears and pitch and turned the wheel first one way and then the other.

"Come back here!" Ianto called out and Bevan burst into giggles turning the wheel.

"You're back," Ianto pointed out as Bevan came to stand by him.

"I went all the way to the lagoon and chased some fish."

"That sounds like thirsty work." Ianto offered Bevan a drink who took it.

"Hungry, or ready for a swim?"

"Swim." Bevan handed back the juice box.

"Good because I reckon I can get to the water faster than you," Ianto started to slow run towards the water.

Bevan rolled his eyes and passed him, hitting the water with a splash. He turned to see Ianto had just reached the water's edge.

"How did you get there? I didn't see you pass me," Ianto said indignantly as he arrived pretending he was out of breath.

"I ran all the way," Bevan said seriously.

"How can you be so fast?"

"I just am!" Bevan puffed out his chest

"Very fast, or did you fly?" Ianto narrowed his eyes.

"Yes I flew." Putting out his arms Bevan ran round him.

"Cheeky rascal, I was only running and you were flying."

"Right, now shall we play crocodiles because I am very hungry and want to eat you up!" Bevan took out as Ianto tried to grab him, racing into the water.

As always the water was as warm as a bath, and Ianto proceeded to chase Bevan until they both fell down out of breath.

"I like playing crocodiles," Bevan stated as they lay in the water.

"Sharks are even more fun." Ianto pretended to bite Bevan's foot. Bevan pulled it away laughing.

"Oh sharks have great big teeth like mine!" Bevan snapped his teeth.

"Yes, you have a fine set. And I can recall your very first tooth. You got all grumpy, your cheeks went bright red and you drooled, then there it was a tiny sharp lump."

Ianto watched amused as Bevan used his tongue to map his own teeth.

"And talking about teeth I think it's time for lunch," Ianto said now standing.

"Can we play sharks later?"

Ianto blinked and he looked skyward. He blinked again. He could swear for a moment the sky had turned mauve. He smiled to himself. _'It's__ not mauve, it's purple__. W__ho says mauve__?'_ He felt a stiff breeze pick up and the sky went deep purple and the light began to fade. He turned again to see the sea retreating over the reef as if a plug had been pulled and a violent wind slammed into him.

The weather system had failed.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter fifteen

* * *

Ianto jerked Bevan into his arms and began running along the beach towards the log that marked the boundary to the beach and beginning of the path to safety. Each step felt weighed down as he struggled to run across the soft sand. The wind increased with each step and just as they reached the trunk a fierce wind rocked them. The wind was terrifying, buffeting them from every direction. Ianto forged ahead only to find they were caught in what felt like the downdraft of a helicopter; sand, shells, leaves and small twigs battered them as it tore around them.

He shouted at Bevan to keep his eyes closed. Ianto forced himself forward but it was impossible and within a heartbeat the force of the windblown sand forced him to close his own eyes against the flying debris, despairing they would be trapped.

The howling wind dropped for an instant. Ianto took off. The garden jungle, unused to the stresses of anything but a light breeze, was groaning and crashing around them. He looked ahead and saw the path was becoming covered in a thick layer of fallen fronds and branches. Seconds later his foot caught in a branch and he fell forward. Top-heavy with Bevan he took three staggered steps and found himself on his knees. Ignoring the pain he cursed, pulled himself up and continued up the path.

His heart pounded as he channelled the fear that seemed to be linked to the growing darkness into his legs. He lifted his head briefly and saw the house through the waving trees. They were so close but could they make it? Once the light was gone it would be darker than the blackest night.

There was a tearing, creaking crack that rang out over the thunderous noise of the wind. Ianto felt a savage slashing sensation along his right arm. One moment he was running forward; next he was surrounded by some kind of bush that had appeared out of nowhere and was now blocking the path. Blinking, he took a moment to reorient himself. This was not a bush. It was the biggest tree that formed the canopy. His mouth dry from effort and their near-miss, Ianto pushed himself through the branches and found the trunk reached to his chest. He looked left and right, there was no time to fight his way around, and it was over or not at all.

He pulled Bevan away from him. Startled, Bevan tightened his grip around Ianto's neck and his waist.

"You have to let go, Bevan. I can't climb over with you in my arms. You have to go over first!"

"No, No, No!" Bevan howled.

"Let go," Ianto screamed, literally peeling off Bevan's arms from around his neck. Bevan locked his legs around Ianto's waist.

"You have to let go!" Ianto clenched his teeth in effort and finally managed to force Bevan off, who was sobbing. In one movement he swung Bevan back then literally threw him over the trunk. Ianto followed and heaved himself over scraping his hands and grazing his side.

Ianto twisted and landed, wrenching his back. He had landed almost on top of Bevan who was screaming hysterically over the wind. Ianto stood, grasped Bevan's upper arm and almost dragged him along. As he picked up speed he jerked Bevan up into his arms. As he brought him into his chest Bevan smacked him across the face. Ianto couldn't hear what he was saying but he figured right now Bevan hated him.

* * *

They burst through the open doors of the house just as the light was fading everything into deep shadows. Ianto fumbled instinctively for the light switch. It clicked… nothing.

Reaching up to the space above the kitchen cupboards he pulled down a plastic red fishing box. It hit the bench with a crash, spilling some of the contents into the sink and around his feet. After the last incident and despite Jack's assurances that a complete weather system failure was almost unheard of Ianto had decided to put together an emergency kit. A torch, first-aid kit, and some emergency rations; mostly juice boxes and about a dozen food bars.

As he reached for the torch the shadows merged into complete dark. His hand kept moving and he felt the long shape of the torch and flicked it on.

He felt a strange whooshing sensation as the pressure dropped. Ianto flicked the torch towards the ceiling and felt it happen again. The walls flexed and he knew the roof was lifting off.

He took the box of supplies and moved to the back wall. It didn't have a window because it was backed up against the rock formation, which Ianto crudely calculated in the few seconds he had that it was the wall most likely to remain standing.

Using his feet he pushed the sofa over towards the wall. He stripped it of cushions, throwing them in a line. Then with one heave he tipped the sofa over the cushions so it was like a tent. He literally threw Bevan inside, followed by the supplies. Using the torch he quickly swept the room for anything useful, but the wind had torn the inside apart. The intensity of the wind was picking up and it sounded like all hell was coming their way. He saw a blanket almost fly by and he grabbed it then dived next to Bevan.

Lying on his stomach he saw the box was still outside. Reaching forward he jerked it with all his might but it was stuck. Cursing he arched his back to lift up the sofa. The box came free, scattering some of the contents. Bevan was sobbing inconsolably and he pulled the small boy towards him. He wrapped himself around him in an effort to shield him.

Ianto knew all he could do was offer him some comfort. At least they had light. The torch was almost indestructible; the battery he knew would last for days, so if nothing else they could see. The wind appeared to drop momentarily only to be replaced with a high-pitched wail that got closer and closer. Ianto pulled Bevan in as close as he could to protect him from whatever was coming.

Just as the sound reached its crescendo they found themselves surrounded by a bevy of familiar faces. Shivering in fear and soaking wet the whole troop of blue flying spider squirrel monkeys tumbled into the remaining space under the sofa. They squeezed into every available nook and cranny, including in and around them. Before he could react he felt a familiar whoosh sensation and it felt like they were suspended which was followed by a sickening drop and Ianto knew the roof had gone.

Huge raindrops now began to splatter onto the floor. Water poured down the walls like a waterfall, flooding the floor. He flicked the torch to the outside and saw the raindrops were like plumbs, splashing back up from the sheer ferocity of the cloud burst. Then he heard it. The small creatures began to jabber and he knew they could hear it coming. The sea released of all controls and was finding its own equilibrium. The entire sea in one vast wave was headed towards them.

"Now we both have to be very brave," Ianto cried out as the world appeared to turn on its head.

* * *

"Where are we?" Jack spun around trying to get his bearings. This was an island but part of it looked like it had been swept clean, leaving only bedrock. It took a moment for him to register that the poles he saw were the last remaining trees that had been stripped of all leaves.

The ground felt spongy and he looked down. He was standing on a mound of debris that looked like a high tide mark. Something yellow caught his eye and he pulled out the bucket end of a Bevan's toy digger.

The world around him seemed to fracture into fragments as he began to recognise the shattered remnants of his life here with Ianto; half a cup, a complete shoe, tattered clothing, a section of wall. Here was part of the structure of the steps leading to the decking. Pulling himself up onto what remained of the floor he saw the back wall was standing but the left wall had fallen outward exposing the toilet and sink, which still stood. The right wall had folded inward.

"Ianto! Bevan!" he bellowed out. When he heard nothing he realised just how quiet it was. There was nothing living, and he began to claw his way through.

He found hands on his shoulder spinning him around. His mind dismissed the effort of whoever it was and he kept on digging.

"Stop!" he heard someone bellow at him.

"No!" he cried as he pulled with all his might.

"Jack! Jack!" John hollered.

"Help me!" Jack continued to tear at the wall.

John put both his hands on Jack's shoulders and pushed. "Move back and let me scan," he said through gritted teeth. Jack looked at him, wildness and grief etched in his eyes and face. "Let me scan."

Jack stepped back at the second request and John lifted his wrist and a beam shot out.

* * *

Ianto woke in the dark. All around him he could hear the slight breaths that suggested he was the only one awake. He flexed his fingers trying to ease the ache in his upper right arm due to Bevan's head resting on it, which seemed to grow heavier with every passing moment. From the feel of it several of the visitors were also curled up on his chest and two others were in his left armpit. The storm sounded like it had stopped but he was not sure. It could still be raging for he could tell from their stuffy, dank, and dark refuge.

He heard a squeak and flicked on the torch. One of the blue flying money squirrels was awake. He hoped it remained quiet a little longer so that Bevan could continue sleeping. The event had quelled their rambunctious and argumentative nature because the space was too small for anything other than total cooperation. Another of the blue flying money squirrels made a sound and Bevan jerked awake.

"Hello sweetheart," Ianto said.

"Daddy, I need to go to the toilet."

"Can you hold on?"

He felt Bevan shake his head. "I really need to go," Bevan added a few moments later.

"There's only one solution. You'll just have to go. The good thing is it's already wet, muggy and stinky in here."

Bevan looked at him, wide-eyed. "I'm a big boy, I to use the toilet now."

Ianto put his arm around him. "You and me, we're big boys but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do," Ianto added. "You need to go and I need to go. If I recall, first it will be all warm and feel nice then a bit icky and cold."

"Okay." Ianto saw Bevan concentrating with a small pout. "I can't, Daddy. It feels strange." He glanced around after several moments had passed. "And there are too many people looking at me." Ianto looked up to see several blue flying money squirrels looking at them with interest as more of them woke up.

"I think this is a shut our eyes and pretend moment," Ianto pointed out as Bevan began to squirm with need. "Look, I'll tell you what. We both need to go so let's go together. Later I won't say a word if you don't. It will be a secret just you and me." Bevan gave a small smile, relaxed then Ianto felt warmth growing down his hip and then released his own bladder. "Feeling better?" Ianto asked after a few moments had passed. Bevan nodded.

Twisting and reaching back Ianto managed to dig out several juice boxes and a handful of protein food bars. They were all warm from the bodies of the small creatures that had snuggled down there. He handed a juice box to Bevan who struggled with the straw; Ianto took it and pierced the foil. After a good mouthful he handed it to Ianto. He looked around and saw the blue flying monkey squirrels looking at them. A small one held out his hand, and without a second thought Ianto handed it to their fellow survivors.

He watched in fascination as each one took a sip, handing the box around until each one had taken a drink. The biggest took the last then with a dip of its head handed the juice box back to Ianto. Seeing it was still half full Ianto handed it back and they all now took another sip in turn until it was empty. Taking a second box he opened it and shared it with Bevan. Now having sated their thirst Ianto opened a food bar and handed it over. Without a squeak of discontent they shared the food bar ensuring each took a tiny bite until it was gone.

* * *

Trying to quell the terrible feeling that was growing with every passing second of inaction Jack held his breath as he watched John.

"Multiple signals." John pointed at the section of the wall covering the biggest pile of debris that had been swept to the back. He touched Jack's arm. "They're alive. We have to lift it off, first," John said and Jack nodded, unable to speak

Heaving together they lifted then dragged that section of the wall clear.

Ianto looked at his watch; they had been here for nearly seven hours. He was beginning to feel panic rise in his chest as he kept Bevan entertained with stories and games. He learnt about Bevan's life, likes, and dislikes, his friends at play group, holidays, trips with Rhys and his Mum. Then in turn he told him stories about his own childhood, followed by reciting stories he knew like the 'Owl and the Pussycat.'

That said he was hot and stuffy, and the food was running out. The blue flying money squirrels were calm but from the chattering and soothing going on they were as worried as Ianto was. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to escape but whatever was on top of them was heavy. With ominous creaks the sofa frame that had held up the weight above them was beginning to lose integrity. How long it would hold…he heard something. The blue flying money squirrels heard it too and began chattering

"Quiet!" Ianto ordered and they went still holding, each other for comfort. "We're in here!" Ianto shouted out, to be joined by Bevan. He stopped and heard a muffled cry.

He hugged Bevan. "I think that's Jack. Jack!" Ianto screamed out, joined by Bevan and the high pitched calls of the blue flying money squirrels.

What felt like an infernal age passed but by the vibrations and movement they all knew that someone was working their way to them. Ianto counted just over an hour when a small square of light flooded their tiny sanctuary and a hand pushed through.

* * *

His heart racing Jack tore at the last remaining foam that was the back of the sofa and thrust his hand into the hole and felt Ianto grasp it. Letting go he pulled the back of the sofa apart. Through the gap he saw Ianto holding Bevan close to his chest with the biggest smile he had ever seen. He blinked as several small faces appeared and then one by one climbed out.

Bevan held out both hands as Jack pulled him through the hole. A few more moments passed as he made the hole wide enough for Ianto. Laying on his back it was awkward but with effort he pushed and pulled his way out.

Ianto blinked against the strong sunlight to see Jack sweep up Bevan then move to wrap his arms around Ianto.

Ianto rubbed Jack's back. "We're safe," Ianto soothed as Jack broke down.

Jack pulled back 'When I saw..." he struggled to say.

Ianto took a look to where they were. The house was gone and he was standing on the last remaining section of floor. He turned to where they had been. The sofa had been buried under a layer of the remains of the walls. His knees gave and Jack caught him and held him steady and he took several breaths, taking in the fresh air. Tilting his head he kissed Jack on the lips. "Thank you."

"Sorry to break up the family reunion but I need to look at your arm," he heard John say. He drew back and saw John beside him.

Ianto looked puzzled then noticed his upper right arm was covered in deep scratches along with an impossibly black obsidian bruise that ran from his shoulder to the elbow.

"I need to get you both away from here," Jack said and indicated to John. Before Ianto could reply a terrible cry went up and they turned as one. The troops of blue flying monkey squirrels were crowded around a tiny body. Another wail now resounded and they saw two tiny bodies being caressed. A mother and baby had not made it to shelter.

Ianto felt his eyes fill with tears at their cries as the troop huddled together, trying to comfort each other, much as they had done in the storm. As bad as this was for Jack and Ianto, the troop has lost their entire home, food supply and two of their number.

"I need to get you to safety," Jack repeated as they witnessed the troop's distress.

"We can't just leave. I mean what is going to happen to them? We have to make sure they are okay. We are just visitors, but this island is their whole world," Ianto argued.

"First we need to get Bevan to safety…"

"I'm not leaving, Jack," Ianto interrupted.

John picked up his jacket, Ianto's injury forgotten, and then went and stood on the edge of the floor. He shook his head as he heard raised voices. Fingers flying he started to input the codes he needed to transport them all.

A beep sounded. He looked at Jack to see the discussion in full force. He could have sworn Jack had alerted him via his wrist strap...it sounded again and his eyebrow shot up his forehead. He looked out towards the sea and could just make out what looked like a vessel. He punched in a reply to receive a reply in return. _'Could this day get any stranger?_' he asked himself then walked over and positioned himself in front of Ianto.

"I've just had a message from the island management," he said, hoping he sounded convincing. "They are on their way fully equipped to look after your little friends. They've asked that if you are not injured to please vacant the island resort."

"I'll stay and double check the arrangements and you can come back for me," Ianto offered.

"No," John answered almost too quickly.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" Jack said almost as an aside.

"Don't ask; don't go there, I am not at liberty to divulge anything. Just for once do as I say," he snapped back

"I want to go home. I don't like here," Bevan pipped up.

"Okay," Ianto said, still not happy. "Promise me they will be looked after?"

"Trust me. They will be the most looked after blue furry things ever," John waved a hand in their direction.

"You told me not to trust you."

"We have to go," John argued.

"But you said I should never trust you," Ianto pointed out.

"Stop arguing or I might have to shoot you," John called out as they gathered in a group and he punched a command into his wrist strap.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen.

* * *

Holding Bevan close to him, Ianto felt the world around him swirl then coalesce. The sharp difference between the bright outside to inside caused him to become momentarily blind until his eyes adjusted. Blinking, Ianto saw what looked like a sofa shape and he found himself falling towards it and he sank into it, in a heap. Bevan shivered violently as he wrapped his arms around him. Ianto was about to ask for a blanket when he found a duvet thrown over them. Ianto quickly tucked it around them. Next a glass of juice with a straw was placed in his hand. Bevan perked up slightly and Ianto put the straw in his mouth and he began to take big gulps.

"Where are we?" Ianto asked.

"Home," Jack replied and Ianto looked around. Now that everything came into focus he saw they were back in his flat.

"Is this juice safe to drink?" Ianto asked as he recalled they had been away for weeks if not months.

"I checked the date on the label."

Ianto sank back down.

"I want Big Daddy." Bevan started to cry and Ianto looked at Jack who took the empty glass and now handed Ianto a cup of hot coffee.

"I know where we are but when are we?" Ianto took a sip then handed it back to Jack.

"I can answer that," John piped up. "I had my vortex manipulator pre-set to come back into the time stream relative to Bevan's time line. So we're back the same number of days after Jack picked him up."

"I'm tired, covered in flying monkey squirrel hair, caked in filth, and starving hungry so in English," Ianto snapped.

"We're back eight days after Jack picked up Bevan," John said from somewhere out of Ianto's vision.

"Rhys?" Jack lifted is eyebrows.

Ianto shook his head. "I think it's time that we started to stop having Rhys rescue us. He's on holiday with Anwen. I know he would drop everything to be here but Rhys has earned a break."

"Bath, then food," Jack added.

"Definitely, bath," John added standing as far back as he could.

Ianto sniffed himself and Bevan then looked up. "Listen, you trying living in a space just long enough so your feet don't stick out, covered in the Islands entire population of blue flying monkey squirrels who use your body as a bed come snuggle post, with no bath room facilities and see how good you smell." Ianto felt a small chuckle as Bevan glanced up with a brighter look on his face at Ianto's outburst.

"Bath," Jack disappeared and moments later Ianto heard the bath filling up. "I added some bubble bath," Jack added on his return.

"I think this may need more than bubble bath," Ianto added. "And I'm bloody starving."

"All in hand," Jack said in his best 'leave everything to me' voice.

"If you're ordering in food, nothing too spicy. Best stick with pizza. Bevan loves Hawaiian with extra pineapple. 'Pizza Fresh' does a children's version called a 'Pirate Pete's'."

Bevan nodded and added, "Chips," in a hopeful voice.

"Extra-large fries, get four family-sized pizzas. We can eat it cold tomorrow. And get them to throw in a Pepsi, and sweet chili sauce, garlic bread, and a dozen chicken wings."

"Sorted." John waved a menu he had found in one of the drawers.

Ianto stood and he felt so weak he almost fell back down. He tried again to find strong hands supporting him.

"Bath." Jack pointed towards the door.

* * *

One large family sized pan pizza, half the chips, and three-quarters of the chicken wings washed down with half a litre of Pepsi later, Ianto let out a huge belch. "That was the best pizza I have ever eaten." He leaned across the table and picked up the remains of the chicken wings and began to see if he could suck any more meat off the bones. Licking his fingers, movement caught his eye and he saw Bevan pitching forward. Ianto caught him just in time. Bevan had fallen asleep seemingly mid mouth-fall. Scooping him up Ianto gently carried him into his bedroom. Jack pulled back the covers as Ianto laid Bevan down. Just as he pulled the cover back up Bevan opened his eyes.

"I'm just putting you to bed."

"I need Spike," Bevan whimpered. "He keeps the monsters away."

Ianto stretched out on the bed next to him and took his hand.

"I sorry but Spike lost his life saving the little monkeys. He was very brave, he saw the big wave coming. You see, sometimes monsters come in many shapes and forms and he knew they were so little they would have no chance against the wind or the wave. At first the wind was so powerful they didn't hear him shouting out so he used his best, biggest roar and they hurried from all over the island. By then the wind as so powerful he had to help them reach us. He helped save as many as he could. But just as Spike was rescuing the last two it was too late. The wave caught him and them."

Bevan looked serious. "He was very brave."

"But I know a big secret; I know just where to find other special dinosaurs just like Spike who are trained to keep monsters away."

"Okay," Bevan sniffed. "But who will keep the monsters away tonight?"

"This bed and all the bedding have been made with monster repelling properties. In fact this room is surrounded with a monster force field. When you are in this bed no monsters can get in. I'm here and Jack with John will keep all the monsters away," Ianto kissed Bevan's forehead who yawned and relaxed into the hug.

Holding him as he had when they had been under the sofa Ianto heard Bevan's breathing fall into a soft rhythm. After it became clear Bevan was fast asleep he gently removed his arm and crept out, leaving the door ajar and padded back into the kitchen.

"I came to say good night," Ianto said as he watched Jack.

"Good idea, I'll clean and..." Jack stood and began to clean up the table.

"And will you still be here tomorrow?" Ianto interrupted, asking the question that had been growing as soon as he realised Jack had been distancing himself since they had arrived back.

A haunted look flashed across Jack's face and he turned way. "Of course," he stammered trying to recover.

Padding over to him Ianto pulled him around into a light hug. "Good night then." He turned and headed for the toilet.

"You're leaving?" John looked at Jack as Ianto closed the hall door.

Ignoring the question Jack put the remaining pizza into the fridge.

"You know I can read you like a book, Jack."

"Don't make this any harder than it already is."

"So you really are going to leave?"

"I told Ianto, back on the island, once he was settled with Bevan I was leaving."

"Why? You've talked about nothing else for months. It's your best case scenario, something undreamed that you could patch things up and then make a go of things with Ianto." John pointed to the close door. "And from what I can see he does too."

Jack spun to face John. "How long before they pay the price?"

"Price?"

"Of loving me. My actions almost destroyed Ianto. How long before both of them have to pay?"

"You are not making sense." John crossed his arms.

"The incident in the car park was a reminder that I'm dangerous, John. Everyone I have ever cared about has paid the price for loving me. Look how I treated Ianto and Bevan. They are not the first I've loved and lost. All of them had years stolen from them because of me." Jack pointed to himself.

"I'll ignore how this insults me." John let out a breath "What about what they want?" he pointed towards the bedroom.

"This is the most loving gift I can give them. I've given all I can. Ianto is going to live. He has reconnected with the son I stole from him. I tried to return the years he lost, and they have each other. I've un-done as much of the damage I caused as I can. Now it's time for me to go before the curse of who and what I am ends their lives."

"You didn't answer my question," John repeated.

"Listen, Ianto deserves better. Love, constancy, a life. Bevan deserves the same."

"Don't try and justify this by an act of martyrdom."

Jack shook his head and let out a sigh. "The few months we spent together on that island was and will remain one of the happiest times of my life. I felt so free, free from all the shit from my past. It was liberating being a father, looking after the man I loved. It was an honour. Something I will cherish…"

"Then why throw that away?

"How do I keep them safe when I am the storm? There is no safe eye."

"You and I both know that noting and nowhere is safe. All we have is the delusion of safety. Jack shook his head and John crossed his arms in frustration. "So running away.."

"This is not me running away. This is a strategic withdrawal. I've done all I can now it's time. Time to move on."

"Time Jack, time is an eternal quality don't squander it every second is precious."

"Don't lecture me, John. This is hard enough."

"You know what, you're right, they do deserve better, but who they want and need is you."

Jack looked at the door and then at John, trying to form the words he needed to say knowing there was nothing he could say to make anyone understand.

* * *

"It's too big!" Bevan pouted and pulled up the jumper to his knees

Ianto pursed his lips and pulled Bevan's arms through the jumper then proceeded to roll up the sleeves.

"I know but we can't go to the shops with you in just a pair aqua shorts; it's too cold."

"Is Daddy Jack coming?" Bevan asked.

Ianto felt his heart clench. He knew Jack was still there, but for how long? No words had been spoken but he understood Jack was going in every word and gesture. Ianto had his suspicions about when but for the moment Jack was playing 'let's get you all sorted'.

"Sort of, he's driving us about and then going to buy some real food. He said he wanted to cook us both a good meal tonight so he's going to be busy."

Bevan looked crestfallen. Ianto adjusted the jumper in an effort to make it fit better. "Don't forget we have to find Spike's brother. He will be hiding in a toy shop and we will have to go hunt him out."

Jumping up and down on the Bevan looked happy for the first time that morning.

"And we also need to see what else there is to buy." Ianto ticked off each item of the list he had in his mind with a gentle poke. "First we need clothes, from underpants to socks, then I need to buy a phone, and I was thinking I could get you a real one, so we can talk to each other, and anything else that takes our fancy."

"Can I ring Big Daddy?"

"Of course but first we need to go out and about then back again."

"Out and about then back again," Bevan repeated

"Home again home again jiggerty jig." Ianto poked his finger into Bevan's tummy on each word.

"Jiggerty jig." Bouncing, Bevan giggled then slid off the bed and headed for the front door.

"Don't go out until I get there," Ianto called out.

"No Daddy, I'm just standing by the door."

"Good boy." Ianto picked up his debit card from the top of his dressing table. Jack had given it to him that very morning. Just as they had been getting ready Jack had handed it to him, asking if ten thousand would enough.

"More than enough. I could put a deposit on a house," Ianto had heard himself reply.

"I just wanted to make sure you had enough money for everything," Jack had replied.

It was typical of Jack to be so cavalier; anyone listening might make the assumption that Jack was trying to show off. Ianto knew better, Jack just didn't think about money. Well he did but not as a means most people in the Twenty First century did.

Slipping the card into his pocket of his jeans Ianto headed for the door.

* * *

Jack opened the door of the hire car and they jumped in. Ianto noted with approval there was a car seat in the back for Bevan and buckled him in.

Slipping in beside Jack he clicked his own seat belt into place.

"Where to first?" Jack turned the keys in the ignition.

"Take us to Marks and Spencers," Ianto announced.

* * *

"Really?" Ianto said as took the pack of underpants from Bevan, wondering at the wisdom of allowing a three-year-old choose their own clothes. "Pink pigs in racing cars?"

"And these?" Ianto tried to hide his cringe as he took the purple ones covered in yellow stars" from Bevan's hand

"OH these are perfect!" Bevan handed him another pack with monsters on them.

"Hey that kid has got great taste," Jack announced as he joined them.

"Daddy," Bevan almost leapt into Jack's arms.

"And what has my tiger being buying?" Bevan proceeded to show Jack his haul.

"Well I think his terrible taste in clothes proves one thing," Ianto said as Bevan finished.

"Yeah?" Jack said as Bevan wiggled down.

"He is your son." Ianto pointed to the hideous collection of clothing Bevan had chosen.

"Are you saying I've got bad taste?"

"Let's just say I will never forget the dinosaur boxers and the bright blue Transformer pyjamas, tops and bottoms."

"Hey, Transformers are 'rad'" Jack added

"No one says 'rad' Jack. Now people say 'cool'."

"You're so funny Daddies," Bevan told them both and started to move away.

Jack threw his best smile at Ianto and led Bevan away to a rack filled with tee-shirts.

"How about this?" Jack pulled out a blazing fluorescent red tee-shirt with a gold fake medal with sparkles.

"Oh Daddy that's my favourite, can I wear it home?" Bevan took it from Jack's hand.

"Do they do one for grownups because I think we would both look fabulous," Jack added.

Ianto groaned and headed towards a rack with more muted colours. As he arrived both Bevan and Jack looked at him, both sets of hands on their hips, and shaking their heads.

Ianto took the list of their purchases and the debit card from the shop assistant's hand, '"Well I think it's clear you and Bevan should never be allowed out shopping together again." He saw flash of sadness cross Jack's face and instantly regretted his words.

"It's great being three. You don't care what you look like, and you can wear what you want," Jack replied.

"Hello Kitty?" Ianto raised his eyebrows

"Okay, Hello Kitty was almost a step too far." Jack took the carrier bags, bulging with what felt like the entire worst taste children's clothing section.

"Almost?"

"Coffee." Jack pointed towards the cafeteria.

Ianto took the items he had set aside. "First we need to change him."

"You head for the rest room." Jack looked around to see if he could see any directions.

"If I do that people might think I'm a pervert," Ianto shifted self-consciously.

Jack put his hand on Ianto's arm. "Only if you start taking your clothes off as well."

"Better idea...we find a table and we sit with him in-between us and dress him there," Ianto suggested.

They looked down and saw Bevan had already stripped off. Naked, he was straining to open one of the packets of underpants.

"I know," Jack held up his hands, smiling, "more proof," as Ianto bent down to give Bevan a hand.

* * *

"What's next?" Jack asked he put slid the laden tray filled with lunch onto the table.

"Food," Ianto placed the chocolate milkshake in front of Bevan.

"You sure you can manage all that?" Jack said in wonderment at the tall glass.

"Yes, Daddy." Bevan pushed the glass away and reached to take a bite the savoury on his plate.

Ianto took a bite of his pie followed by a long drink of coffee. "Next toys and I promised Bevan a phone."

"A real phone so I can ring Big Daddy, and I can call Ianto Daddy and Jack Daddy," Bevan said, spraying crumbs.

"Then toys. We have to find Spike's brother," Ianto explained

"Spike was real brave he saw the big wave and knew it was a monster," Bevan piped up. Jack sat back, enjoying the moment as Bevan retold the tale, trying to inscribe every image and every word in to his mind. He felt Ianto's hand on his knee and he closed his eyes, and for one second imagined that he would stay.

* * *

Rhys clenched the phone and he felt his heart pound and mouth go dry as he fought to hang onto to Jack's opening phrase _'Bevan is okay and safe'. _He had to force himself to keep that at the forefront of his mind as Jack filled him on the events on the island.

"Bevan was safe, no one was hurt," Rhys repeated

"He and Ianto were bit battered, scared, hungry, tried but alive and well."

"Where are you now?" Rhys asked trying to keep his voice level.

"We're at Ianto's."

"Do you want me to come?" Rhys looked at Anwen who was fast asleep in the cot the resort had provided.

"Enjoy your holiday Rhys. Ianto and I have everything covered."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Can I speak to him?"

He heard fumbling then Bevan began to speak. "Hello Daddy I'm talking on my very own phone."

"Are you?"

"It's an extra special phone because I can call you, and I tested it out first by calling Daddy Ianto, it's blue with sparkles."

"Jack tells me you've had a bit of an adventure."

"It was real scary, first the sea went away, then the wind really started to blow." Bevan made a whooshing noise. "Then Daddy Ianto picked me up and we ran to the house. A great big enormous tree fell down in front of us. I had to go first and Daddy almost fell on me. Then we ran into the house and it went all dark. It was darker than dark. I was real scared but then Daddy found a big torch. Then he made a house out of the sofa. I didn't knowed you could make a house out of a sofa but he turned it upside down and we got underneath.

There was this big noise that got bigger and bigger then all the little monkeys came and hid with us because Spike had called them." Bevan took a breath. "There was even more big noise and it start to rain and the water got though. I fell asleep then when I woke up I had two monkeys asleep between by legs and in my arm. But near the top. They was tickly. We got thirsty and we had to share everything. One of the funny creatures hiccupped. They were clever because they could suck on the straw, then I needed to pee and Daddy and me had to be big boys and do something which is our secret but felt really funny." Bevan paused.

"That's sounds scary."

"It was but Daddy Ianto made sure I was safe, but I lost Spike, he died trying to save all the animals, they came and stayed with us in the house Daddy Ianto made." Bevan took a breath.

"And you're at Ianto's now?"

"Then we were here and we had pizza, and I went to sleep, oh I had a bath. It was me and Daddy Ianto together. It was so funny we had to empty it twice cause we was covered in muck. Then toys, and we found Spike's brother who I'm calling 'Roar' because he roared and kept the monsters away in the toy shop, he's blue and green, then Daddy got my phone. I have a phone holder. I've got a new yellow truck. Now we're home and Daddy Jack is making me my favourite meal, macaroni and cheese."

"You have been busy. And macaroni and cheese?"

"And I'm going to draw you everything that happened. And I have new clothes, Daddy Jack helped me pick them out."

Jack and Ianto both laughed as they could hear the groan at the other end.

"Everything I chose was lovely."

"I bet."

"But I miss you. I want to come home."

"And I will be there to pick you up once I'm back."

"Okay. Are you and Anwen having fun?"

"Yes it's like the island; all nice and warm and we're having lots of swims."

"Okay, as long as I can ring you every day?"

"Course you can, you're my best boy."

"I love you Big Daddy!" Bevan kissed the phone.

"I love you too."

Bevan handed the phone back.

Rhys listened as the phone was passed back to Jack.

"Sounds like everything's under control. Tell me you didn't let him choose all his own clothes?" Rhys asked.

"Yeah." Jack noted the groan on the other end. "Ianto also chose some more sensible stuff."

"Thank god. Jack, I'm all for free expression, but he has a lot of you in him."

"Yeah," Jack agreed.

"I'll call every day or he can call me same time tomorrow," Rhys said.

"Rhys thank you."

"You're welcome Jack. Now I'm going to take my heart pills before I have a heart attack."

"Bye Rhys."

Rhys ended the call to find his mobile sounded in his hand. He took a breath as he recognised the voice.

"Well I'm not at home, I'm on holiday. We're in Spain for a bit of sunshine and fun. No, Bevan is with Ianto and Jack."

He pulled the phone away at the shrill outburst his words had caused.

"No I fucking well didn't need your permission to take her out the country she has her own passport."

He ground his teeth at Gwen's reply

"Well maybe you should have kept in contact. Gwen. It's been days." He paused to listen to her reply. "I don't care how bloody busy you've been, you have a phone, nothing is stopping you from texting…" Rhys listened to her reply and felt himself getting hotter and hotter. "Bollocks, this is about that Miracle Day shit. The crisis ended days ago so where the hell have you been?" Rhys took a breath. "So you save the world but don't give a damn about sorting us out Gwen..."

Rhys exploded at her next demand. "Like hell Gwen, you're not taking her to the States! I don't care how important the work is. I'll fight you, use every trick in the book, and if you force me I have means to make us disappear, so don't push me Gwen." He heard a soft gasp down the phone.

"That's right Gwen, I have resources and I'm not the soft touch you think I am. I tell you right here and now I think you're a coward for not facing me. All the years we had and you're not even going to try."

He lent forward as she launched into another tirade.

"Tell you what, at least Jack had the decency to front up and work on himself. He's been honest with me and Ianto but you...you just want to continue playing the queen of Torchwood so you don't have to face the realisation of what a conniving lying bitch you are."

He sat on the edge of the bed, stunned at Gwen's reiteration and trying to come to terms that she was running away rather than face him with the truth. Just how many had there been?

"So that's it. You're buggering off with this Rex bloke, setting up Torchwood International in Texas of all places, you know, what bloody delusions of grandeur...well at least Jack had the sense to walk away. It's taken too many lives and as far as I'm concerned they're welcome to you." He snapped the phone off.

Anwen cried lightly as she woke up. His mind reeling he walked in and picked her up and soothed her. He walked out onto the balcony and took in the view. It was a stunning evening, the sun was setting and the sky was a fire slowly sinking into the sea.

"Well my girl it's just you and me. Just you and me."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen.

* * *

Ianto had to admit Jack had outdone himself. He had always suspected that Jack could cook but this was not just a meal, it was a feast made up of all his and Bevan's most favourite dishes.

Jack was leaving, and Ianto knew every mouthful had been prepared with love, care, and devotion. From the five cheese macaroni and cheese to the fine wine, he was trying to say in actions what he found impossible to say in words. Ianto had no doubts Jack loved him, even as he still struggled with Jack's actions past and present. Jack was an enigma; an iceberg of hurt nine-tenths hidden with only that which what Jack was prepared to expose visible.

Ianto knew he would struggle with the hurt and betrayal for a long time. Forgiveness was not something he could give even now but he had come to a place where he was prepared to work on it. To forgive Jack meant having to face his own inability to stand up to him and confront him and make him see the damage he was doing. Ianto had his own fear, lack of self-esteem, his unwavering commitment leading him into disaster just as it had with Lisa with equally devastating results to face. Ianto knew this was his responsibility towards his own healing. He had to face this reality, if there was to be any future not just with Jack but with another partner.

It was a strange meal and as he forced himself to eat Ianto recognised this evening was a prefect representation of everything that was wrong between them. In some respects Jack was still trapped in a cycle of abuse. There would be pain, apologies, making up , false forced comfort, words unsaid filling the air around them until it was impossible to breathe, each too scared to say what was really in their hearts. Both desperate for the other not to approach the cliff in case the illusion was broken and they fall over. '_Don't ruin this fragment of time_' was the mantra required as always. Ianto recognised it for what it was, this moment, this whole day meant Jack was trying to take with him something to remember, a happy family moment, a snatch of reality no matter how contrived.

Ianto played along as the battle that raged within him continued unabated. Could he just let Jack leave without a fight? Placing the spoon down, the battle still in its continuum as Jack moved to put Bevan to bed.

* * *

Rinsing the final dish under the sink, Ianto heard the bedroom door close.

"You should have left those for me," Jack said.

"No, you cooked. Let me clean-up."

"No, I want to," Jack said as Ianto turned to him, plate still in his hand.

"Don't do this."

"Strange though as this sounds washing up is kinda soothing, hands in hot water..." Jack replied.

"Jack, if there was ever a gold medal for deflection you would be a multiple medal winner; international, maybe galactic champion," Ianto said, placing the dish in his hand on the top of the pile by the sink.

Ianto moved aside and Jack put in the sink plug.

"Don't leave," Ianto said as Jack started on the first glass.

"Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"Did you think I would just let you leave?" Ianto said softly.

"I told you that once you were settled with Bevan I was leaving," Jack reminded him.

"I remember," Ianto said. "Are you punishing me for John?"

"You know I'm not." Jack looked at Ianto, imploring him to understand.

"Punishing yourself then? Because you and happy is something too outrageous to consider?"

"It's…"

"Complicated," Ianto interrupted. "Is that what you call the clusterfuck that is our relationship?"

"Complicated is good a word as any." Jack continued in his task.

Ianto let out a huge sigh. "You can be so infuriating. I could use a whole dictionary of words…" He paused and then took a breath. "You want me to remain silent and play along but this is what we always do, past and present. The island was one big not let's ruin the moment stretched over months. We never confront. By playing along I give you licence to act because your life a force of nature. You decide and then you act. For once I am going to break the habit of a lifetime. I am not just going to let you leave and walk away from me and Bevan without a fight."

Jack paused for a moment as he checked the plate he was washing then began to scrub it again. "Ianto, fighting for what you want or see as right, is you. It's so ingrained you can't see it yourself. You fight until you are faced with reality. It's a form of blindness. You did it with Lisa, your illness, Bevan, and here you are still fighting, until you are forced to concede." Jack turned to face Ianto. "You would make a terrible general because no one would leave the field of battle until everyone on both sides was dead ."

Ianto bit the retort that came to his lips and took a moment before he answered. "Over the past months I've worked through lot, understanding helped. Seeing you with Bevan and our life on the island and I'm asking you stay."

Jack pushed himself away from the sink, dried his hands then turned to face Ianto. Several moments passed as several emotions played across Jack's face and settled on an unflinching bleak cliff of inevitability.

"On your first day on the island you made it to the beach. You shared with me a wish. You wanted Bevan to have a life filled with happiness, laughter, love, and fulfilment." He took Ianto's hands in his. "This is my way of trying to fulfil that wish. I know beyond all doubt he will be blessed beyond measure by having you in his life. He is one very lucky boy. He has you and Rhys to be there for him. Bevan will be safe, cared for, and loved."

Jack looked down unable to keep Ianto's gaze as he now spoke. "Wishes...if there were such a thing my wish would be that we could start again. Washed clean from the history of who we are and the past. Just two blokes who just meet then date, fall in love, and create a life with each other."

Jack tightened his grip on both of Ianto's hands and closed his eyes. "I Wish, I wish," he whispered then pushed Ianto vehemently away.

"It's a fantasy; a delusion. Don't you think I've had the same thoughts about being normal having a family, being together?" Jack stabbed himself in the chest. "But I am who I am. Ianto, every person I've loved or been close to has been destroyed or had their lives ruined. You and Bevan are all I have left. And I know if I stay and act out this fiction, you and Bevan will pay the price of who I am."

"Steven," Ianto said and saw Jack pale.

"How can I stay knowing that instead of you living a full life, it will be cut short, or maybe I will go mad and cause you more pain? I almost destroyed you, Ianto. You deserve to be loved. If I stay will you and Bevan will be the next innocents I'm forced to sacrifice with my own hands in penance for the sins of my past?"

"Jack do you think you are the first person in all history who hasn't had to be the cause of the death of a child or loved ones? I can turn on the internet and find you a thousand incidents today , a mother was distracted for a moment and her child drowns a few feet away, or a father forgets to put his son's seat belt on. Every human regrets their choices, or makes terrible mistakes. Others have suffered torture and come home then taken out what happened on those they loved or distanced themselves because it's not possible to share. You're not the first man to have it off with a work college or have their partner walk in on them, or be so wrapped up in their own pain they can't see what's right before their eyes. Nor are you the first man to strike out at a partner in an effort to drive them away. You are a human being, Jack. I think sometimes you forget that. You may be immortal but that just means you can't die. You still have to face each moment as it comes just like the rest of us," Ianto pointed to the ground. "If there is one thing I've learnt is that living is not in the past or the future; it's now. Every moment ends no matter how good or bad it is. The next moment might be different. What I 'm trying to say is embrace the now, it's the only life we truly have." Ianto pulled Jack into an embrace. Ianto felt Jack fling his arms around him then hold on to him like he would never let go.

"Promise me one thing?" Ianto asked as Jack pulled away. "Don't be too hard on yourself when you come to regret this and don't you ever convince yourself you walked out that door because it was what I or Bevan wanted."

"You don't play fair," Jack retorted.

"There is nothing fair about this," Ianto said as Jack now moved picked up his coat. "Promise?" Ianto reiterated as Jack opened the door.

"I promise," Jack said under his breath and slipped out the door.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen.

* * *

Ianto checked through the day's listings of the most recent rentals on offer in Cardiff. It made for dismal reading. It wasn't that he had high standards or was too picky; it was just he knew what he was looking for. Apparently he was asking for the impossible: a tidy two bedroom flat where he was within a reasonable distance near or close to Pentyrch where Rhys lived so they could share Bevan's care and which he could afford.

If he could sell his flat then there would be no issue. The problem was the housing market was depressed so he knew his only option was to rent in Cardiff and rent his flat out there. He knew he was being unreasonable because both Rhia and Rhys had offered to put him up. He was tempted but Rhys had already done enough, and living with Rhia was not an option. He knew that they would both drive each other crazy, firstly because he was too fussy when it came to the general level of clutter Rhia found acceptable; and secondly how was he supposed to run a small business with two small other children running around? It wasn't like there was an extra bedroom; he would have to sleep on the sofa. All his furniture and possessions would have to go into storage, costing even more money. When it came to it Ianto knew he was difficult to live with. He smiled to himself. The reality was he wanted to make a home for himself and Bevan. Not someone's couch, not sharing, just him and Bevan, where they could really get to know each other and be son and Dad for real for the first time.

A small garden would be nice, where Bevan could have a pet. Ianto smiled. Bevan was mad for guinea pigs. The play group he went to had a pair. Bevan was always the one to offer looking after them and was the topic of conversation whenever he was there. The fridge was strewn with several drawings of the ideal guinea pig; apparently it was ginger and white. So a garden with enough room for a hutch they could design and build together. A garden where Bevan could run around a bit and be safe, with a sand pit. Ianto came back to reality. He was not likely not with the current state of his savings. He could scrape together enough for a bond, moving, setting up, making minimal use of his car and living as frugally as possible.

The thought of getting a job flashed through his mind but truth be told he loved working for himself. After weeks of hard work promoting himself he finally had a couple of commissions for his web design and internet optimisation company and business consultancy 'Optimum Design'. The two small commissions were trials which he hoped would lead to bigger commissions, fingers crossed. It was hard work but he was his own boss and could dictate his own hours and that meant he would have time to spend with Bevan.

He did have some money in reserve left over from their shopping spree five months ago and it would be just enough to buy Bevan a new bed and bedroom furniture if he bought flat packs. Any change would be used to cover anything else Bevan might need over the next year.

Reading through the listings he came upon a new one and immediately knew it was well out of his range. This was in dream flat territory, right area, within five minutes of a local shopping hub and the park. Ten minutes' walk to Rhys's with two bedrooms, small office, and completely remodelled bathroom, kitchen, along with shared garden. It even came with its own parking. And finally the two requirements he knew he could fill: non-smoker and professional. He used his mouse to scroll down and the rent was only...he calculated it in his mind… only…!

He double-checked the figure. He read the listing again and again. It had to be an error. He bit his lip. This has to be too good to be true. A flat in the right neighbourhood with every one of his criteria at that rent. Misprint. He didn't bother to pick up the phone.

* * *

"Mr Jones, I think I've found what you're looking for," Ianto heard the perky rental agent on the other end of the line pronounce.

Ianto suppressed the urge to groan as this is how Greta started every time she called.

"A three bedroom flat has come up with fits all your requirements." Ianto closed his eyes as she rattled off his dream wish list.

"Look I've told you to forget that," Ianto said as she finished. "What I'm looking for is somewhere clean, tidy, quiet, and with the least cockroaches possible, where the walls have never had to suffer mould and somewhere handy to park my car."

"Yes, I am aware Mr Jones, but this flat has just been handed to the agency. When I saw it I knew it would suit you to the ground. It's a three bedroom flat, shared garden, just had major renovation, new bathroom, kitchen, everything…"

Ianto recognised it. "I've saw the listing on the internet and it's well out of my budget," Ianto interrupted. "In that area even the smallest flatette starts at two hundred pounds a week and goes up from there."

"This is in your price range."

"So what's the catch? Let me guess...the other tenant has forty cats. Or the place is used for a heavy metal band to practice only sixteen hours a day. I know...the place was ex P Lab and as long as I didn't mind the residue…" Ianto stood up and walked across to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. "It's lovely as long as you don't mind the human sacrifice every Tuesdays and Thursday nights but only when there's a full moon."

"No, it has one quiet neighbour; no cats," she added.

"So what IS the catch?" Ianto opened a cupboard door and took out a mug.

"No catch, the owner is just very particular about who they wish to rent to."

"I don't mean to be rude but it sounds too good to be true, " Ianto pointed out.

"The owner is looking for exactly the right tenant," the agent replied.

"I have a son. He would be living with me on a part time basis."

"How old?" she asked.

"He'll be four in seven weeks."

"I don't think that will be an issue. How about I set up a viewing?" she suggested.

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful but the reality is something this good is going to be snapped up within hours. The fact it hasn't suggests something is wrong."

"The flat not been rented out is because the owner is looking for the just the right tenant. The owner has already had the flat on the internet and has rejected every applicant."

"Sounds like this individual is the landlord from hell. Another reason not to bother."

"When are you next in Cardiff?" she asked.

"I'm coming down to visit this weekend. Leaving Friday afternoon."

"So if you're coming down why not take in a viewing?"

Ianto rubbed his forehead to ease the ache.

"What is the point of me looking at a flat I don't have a snow-ball's chance in hell of ever getting?"

"Let's say around nine on Saturday morning."

"I'll be having breakfast with my son."

"Eleven?"

"I can't see the point."

"I can't see the harm in looking."

"There is no harm in looking. I would rather look at flats where there is a possibility that I might be able to move into."

"You asked me to find you a flat. I've found one." She replied her voice full of perky enthusiasm.

"Greta..." Ianto ground his teeth.

"If you won't go and look at least let me fill in the paperwork and put your name down for consideration."

"Alright I'll make you a deal. If I get the flat I'll go view it then."

"Deal," Greta replied.

"Now was there anything else that has come into your books?" Ianto stopped to listen.

"That is more like it," he confirmed after she had finished speaking.

"Make an appointment for later on Saturday if you can for all three?"

"Will do," he heard Greta reply then snapped his phone shut.

* * *

Unlocking the door, Ianto pushed the door open. Johnny and Rhys passed him carrying boxes.

Picking up the one he had dropped by the door to open it, he followed them in and placed the box with the others.

"Oh my god I have died and gone to heaven." They turned and Rhia came through the door. "Look at these floors," she pointed to the pale wooden sealed floors.

"I am never going to hear the end of this," Johnny said as he headed back out the door.

Ianto took the box she was carrying and backed into the door to the kitchen.

"Look at this kitchen," she said slowly and Ianto dumped the box on the dark granite bench. He smiled as she started opening doors and draws. "It's got a pantry." She turned and took another look around. "That's it! I'm going to leave Johnny and I'm gonna move in here."

Ianto watched, amused at her reaction "This is a serious foodie's kitchen, Ianto. No more burnt scrambled eggs. I expect to be invited for a real dinner party with proper cooking and everything."

Ianto laughed. "Promise. You Johnny and Rhys, and the kids,"

"I mean proper home cooked, not just opening cartons and presenting everything on nice plates, with a bottle of fancy wine."

Ianto winced. "Well I'll do my best."

"You could have a BBQ, out there." Rhia pointed to the garden through the window over the sink. "Johnny's a dab hand. Only cooking he'll do because it's a man thing isn't it, BBQ? Standing around with just beer and talking rubbish, charcoaling meat."

Leaving the kitchen they found Johnny with a large rolled-up rug which he dumped in the middle of what was the lounge floor.

Rhys followed carrying a part of a book shelf and placed it near a wall. "I reckon he had to sleep with the owner, had to be it or is there a problem with the undead rising you haven't mentioned and they are going to rise from the sewers. Whooooooo!" Rhys raised his hands and wiggled his fingers at Ianto.

"It's because he's a jammy git," Johnny teased him.

"Well, maybe living next to a zombie gets you cheap as chips rent. Can you put in a good word for me?" Rhys teased.

"My input was zero. My rental agent put in the paperwork. I didn't even want to look at the place," Ianto explained.

"And then what?" Rhia asked.

"Next thing I get a phone call barely an hour later saying the flat was mine if I wanted it, option on a long-term lease with an option to buy."

"We had better get you moved in then because it's a full moon tonight. Better watch yourself Ianto, don't want no werewolf in the family. Worse than being gay, that is," Johnny said, leaving to get another load.

"Being a gay werewolf, that has got to be hard," Rhys followed Johnny out.

Returning a short while later with another load Rhys opened the door labelled bathroom and placed the box on the floor.

"Bloody hell look at that bath," Rhys said in appreciation.

Ianto put his head around the door and placed the box he was carrying on top of the one Rhys had dumped on the floor. "And no bloody shower doors to clean. It's called a wet area." Ianto pointed at the shower head.

"That's what women don't understand. None of this poncy stuff, just good solid plumbing," Rhys enthused.

Ianto nodded his agreement.

"That bath could fit two people easily." Rhys winked.

"Are you offering?" Ianto joked and Rhys punched him the arm.

"Well it's nice but I don't think you'll have much use for it after they find you ripped to pieces because this place was built over a pet cemetery."

"And Bevan?" Ianto asked rising his eyebrows.

"Some kid at play school reckons you just need a shot gun filled with salt so a water pistol filled with salt water will have to do so he's all sorted. I'll make sure he's well-armed. But I can see a major rubbery duck incident coming up. I can see the headlines now," Rhys continued. "Man found smothered to death by malevolent monster yellow duck. It all started see when he took on a flash flat for ninety nine pounds a week. No one suspected there would be such a terrible price to pay."

"Keep this up and there's no beer for you," Ianto told him.

"That's low blow Ianto; you really know where to hit a man!"

They heard huffing, boxes being dropped, and the door opened.

"You two stop having a fit over that bathroom because we need a hand," Johnny snorted. Ianto and Rhys raced out the door and down the hall to the moving truck.

* * *

Ianto handed over a beer to Rhys as they sat on the sofa, their legs stretched out and surrounded by boxes.

"Here's to the future," Rhys said as they tapped the bottles together.

"The future," Ianto repeated.

"Moving is bloody hard work. That or I'm getting old," Rhys moaned as he stretched.

"Well think of me as I unpack this lot. Then Monday all of Bevan's bedroom stuff arrives," Ianto said as he eased the ache in his body.

"So the landlord has no issue you with having Bevan live here."

Ianto shook his head. "Nope, I explained Bevan would be here three days one week, four the next, and every other weekend. It's even okay if we set up a hutch in the garden."

"Bevan will love that," Rhys agreed

"I've asked the pet shop to hold on to 'Racer' until we're all set to go."

"He can't stop talking about it," Rhys agreed taking a sip of beer.

"I don't mean to open old wounds Ianto, but have you heard anything from Jack?" Rhys asked a few moments later.

Ianto took a long drink of his beer then shook his head. "No."

"The way he spoke and all the effort he put in I thought he would stay."

"I think there is only much hurt, pain, and loss a human being can handle. Without saying too much losing his grandson was the last straw, he was terrified he would hurt Bevan or me," Ianto told him.

"You could see the man loved him," Rhys added.

"I know. I hope wherever he is he's okay and finds his way through. As angry, bewildered, and hurt as I am I have an anchor: Bevan, family, you. Jack doesn't have that; all he can see is what might be."

"I hope I'm not stepping over a line here but you have lost a lot of your bitterness," Rhys said as the room filled with the late afternoon sun.

Ianto smiled. "It's been a strange journey. Being on the island with Jack and Bevan, so many hurts were healed. Jack did share some of his ordeal and understanding helped. If I have any real anger it's at the Master, and Jack's brother, Gray. They hurt him in more ways you and I can imagine. I looked up the effects of sensory deprivation, and the fact that Jack can walk and talk was a miracle. I think he would deny it but I believe Jack was aware the whole time."

"God no," Rhys burst out.

"Two thousand years and that after being in the hands of the Master."

"It doesn't bear thinking about," Rhys added

Ianto raised his bottle. "To Jack, wherever he is. I hope he finds peace." They tapped bottles again.

"Well, at least he had the courage to face you."

"I can't get over Gwen just running away," Ianto said.

"Well, she a bloody coward. She actually wanted to take Anwen to the States and not just for a visit, but permanent-like."

"Shit."

"Yeah, going to be shit alright. I compiled a file of everything I know about her shenanigans and handed it over to my lawyer. Then we'll see if she tries anything."

Ianto agreed. "No chance of her returning?"

"Not after your sister had her go. God she's fierce, make sure you never cross her, Ianto."

Ianto laughed. "She gave Jack a going over at the hospital. I got a feeling she's been brooding."

"Brooding? She gave Gwen a black eye." Rhys lifted his hand. "Not saying mind but I wish I had seen Rhia deck her one because God knows Gwen had it coming."

"I'm not saying anything," Ianto said, still laughing

"Apparently there was this black bloke from the States, her new boss. Apparently he just stood there, and got covered in beer."

"That's what I call a welcome home." Ianto raised his bottle, still laughing

"Welcome back to Wales, mate," Rhys agreed.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen.

* * *

Ianto reached the bottom of the box and huffed. He knew he had packed the good coffee in there somewhere. He could have sworn he had packed it with the machine. He stood and stretched hearing his back creak and then he saw it. Laughing he picked up the flask and pulled out the small pack of coffee beans. The bag in his hand he looked around; now where had he packed the grinder?

Pulling off the strip of tape off the box labelled 'kitchen things' he began to unwrap each item in a search for a mug. This was not the mug box; it was filled cutlery and other essential kitchen utensils along with knives.

Moving to the lounge he shifted boxes. _'Why is it always the one on the bottom?'_ he said to himself as he moved each box in term.

In true 'Murphy' style the box containing the mugs was on the bottom. As he went to lift it he realised why. It was heavy, filled with crockery. Opening it he took out the plates first.

* * *

One of the many things about this kitchen that was _'fortuitous,'_ he thought as he placed the plates in a plate rack that was part of one of the cupboards, was that this kitchen felt like it had been designed with him in mind. It was as if someone had measured the height of his hip and the length of his arm. If he thought about it, and he had, everything about this flat reflected his tastes, from the colour of the bench tops, size of the bath down to the polished floors.

Returning to the box on the floor of the lounge he reached in and pulled out the next item from the box. Unwrapping it, he smiled. It was one of his special mugs, one of a pair David had given to him. This and its brother needed to go somewhere special. He walked into the kitchen, looked around, and spied a nook. He hadn't seen it before but it was clearly somewhere to display important objects. He lifted the small protective window and carefully placed the mug in. _'Perfect'_ all it needed was its mate and they would be safe and sound with no danger of them being knocked off or damaged ever again.

Reaching into the box he now found the other. As he was pulling off the bubble wrap he heard a soft knock that was followed by a stronger, more insistent, one.

Mug in hand he walked to the door. Unchaining the door he found the first and only flaw there was no spy hole.

Opening the door he fumbled and the mug nearly slipped from his hand. A quick movement and he caught it. He blinked and stared felt his heart beating wildly in his chest.

"Hi, I heard you were up and about and thought this would be a good time to introduce myself. I'm Jack Harkness. I have the flat upstairs." Jack held out his hand.

"Jones, Ianto Jones," replied taking Jack's hand and shaking it, feeling like he was caught in some surreal alternate reality.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said after an awkward moment had passed as he recovered. "You reminded me of someone I knew, know...in fact it's like seeing double," Ianto stammered out as a thousand questions began to race through his mind.

"Wow, I guess the rumour that everyone has a double is true," Jack joked.

"Nice mug," Jack stated referring to the object in Ianto's hand. "That's rather a unique design."

Ianto rolled the mug between his hands. "It's one of a pair; gifts from my nephew," he said. The aroma of hot coffee began to fill the doorway. "I just put on some coffee, would like some?" Ianto offered.

"Love to, if you have a plate we could share these." Jack indicated the brown bakery bag he was carrying.

Ianto moved aside to allow Jack to enter.

"Have you lived here long?" Ianto asked as Jack closed the door.

"Just a few weeks. I moved in just after the renovations were finished. I've started up a security company. I have some expertise in that area, mostly consultancy. Thought Cardiff would be a good place to start, iron out any difficulties then expand." Jack noted the look on Ianto's face which suggested he was confused but intrigued as to what was going on. "The real reason I moved here was to be close to my son." Jack pulled out a photo from his wallet and handed it to Ianto. "He's three, nearly four."

Ianto looked at a photograph of Bevan. "That's amazing. I've got a son to same age. Bevan."

"Small world. I've always liked that name," Jack said.

"It's so good to see you Jack," Ianto said as he handed back the image.

"Someone very important told me that fresh starts sometimes need to start from the very beginning."

Ianto felt his throat catch as he recalled his wish. He took a moment to just look at the man now he had recovered from the shock. Jack was different. Gone was the coat, suspenders and boots replaced with jeans, tee-shirt, trainers, newspaper under one arm and bakery bag in the other. It took every ounce of control he had not to throw his arms around him.

"Let me find a plate for those." Ianto took the bag headed for the kitchen. "How do you like your coffee?" Ianto played along as Jack joined him.

"Black with one sugar."

Ianto headed back to the crockery box and rifling through the half unpacked box Ianto found the mugs he was looking for. Quickly rinsing them out he poured coffee into both. He decanted the contents of the bakery bag onto a plate and placed it next to Jack.

"Now sugar," Ianto opened the pantry door and, taking out a large storage jar of sugar, poured some into a cup. "Sorry I'm not sure where the sugar bowl is."

Jack smiled as he heaped in a good spoonful.

"Have you met the owner of this place?" Ianto asked as he picked up his own mug.

"Yeah, he showed me through. Older bloke spoke with a Midwest American accent. Did a great job on refurbishing this place, don't you think?"

"I was thinking just this morning this flat could have been made with me in mind," Ianto pointed out.

Jack snapped his fingers. "You know, I have the same feeling myself."

"Must have cost a fortune," Ianto said.

"Well if the job's worth doing, you might as well do it well."

"Where is he now?"

"Gone. I got the feeling he was looking for a life to live and he said something about wanting to see if wishes really did come true."

"To wishes." Ianto raised his mug.

"To dreams coming true," Jack replied and they tapped mugs.

* * *

"That is some hutch," Rhys said as Bevan very carefully placed 'Racer' on top of a large bed of hay, content to share the carrot with the other guinea pig, 'Mimi'.

"I drew a picture and then Daddy made it. We both worked at it together." Bevan shut the lid and pushed the bolt across the nesting area. "We had to buy lots of wood, and nails and wire and things."

"Nice plaque." Rhys pointed out the flat wood with the words 'Racer and Mimi" burnt in with a large degree of squiggles that looked like Bevan's handiwork.

"Yes, Daddy helped me make it," Bevan told him seriously then bit his bottom lip. Rhys knew something was going on because Bevan was holding onto some big secret. It was part of a very special big happy surprise which made him so excited he could hardly contain himself.

Rhys watched with Bevan as Racer and Mimi began to explore their new home.

"So when is this huge surprise you keep talking about supposed to happen?" Rhys asked Bevan.

"Today."

"Well, that's a relief. I'm not sure you can hold in in my longer before going pop," Rhys teased and Bevan laughed

"It is a great big secret and I will go pop."

"That's because you're also full of fizzy drinks." Bevan belched on queue.

Ianto watched Bevan and Rhys as he freshened up the snacks and wondered if he should get out the salads now that the meat was well on its way to cremation. He looked across at Johnny who lifted up his hand indicating five minutes.

"So is this big surprise someone you've met then?" Ianto looked up as Rhiannon joined Ianto and together they headed for the kitchen.

Reaching it he pulled open the fridge and pulled out the coleslaw, potato, and pasta salads.

"My friend Susan was out having her anniversary dinner at that posh Italian place." Rhiannon took two of the salads

"Really," Ianto looked around to see if there was anything he had missed.

"Said she saw you."

"Did she?" he said trying to keep the surprise out of his voice.

"You were with this bloke, handsome like he could be a film star, like an escort."

"Yes, I was having dinner with a client."

"Fancy sort of place to take a client. Anyway, Susan said it was intimate, no way anyone was getting their feet under that table, no way."

Ianto pretended to check over the contents of the salads, then opened the fridge, gazed into it then shut it again. Taking a breath he turned to face her.

"Is he nice?" she asked amused, at Ianto's discomfort.

"Yeah," Ianto agreed

"So who is he? Do we know him?"

"We're taking it slow, getting to know each other."

"Well, from what Susan told me there was nothing slow about this. It was like no-one else in the Universe existed: candlelit dinner, holding each other's hand, whispering to each other, at one point the other bloke kissed the back of your hand, right romantic…" She ran out of words.

Ianto let out a breath. "Okay, it might be a lot more serious than I letting on, but it's happened so quickly, I didn't want to say anything. We are taking it slow."

"Does he know about Bevan? He's okay you've got a four year old?"

"He's met Bevan. He lives next door."

"He's what?"

"He's the other tenant and he has a son the same age."

"So where is he then? Or are you worried we might eat him alive?"

"No it's not that..."

"We are well over the gay thing," she explained as a huge grin started to grow on her face. "I bet its meeting your possible in-laws. It can be a bit daunting," Rhiannon rattled off and they headed back to the garden.

"See, this is why I haven't said anything because you always read too much into things. One dinner, and in your mind you are already sending out the wedding invitations." Ianto placed the salads he was carrying onto the table.

"Wedding …." she stopped and laughed at the look on Ianto's face "So he is coming?"

"Be here very soon." Ianto looked up to see Bevan running across the lawn.

"Daddy!" Bevan launched himself.

"My tiger," Jack said, scooping him up in his arms.

"Am I too late? Have you had cake yet?" Jack asked everyone.

"Daddy's here! Daddy Jack is here."

With everyone in the garden stilled and in shock Jack strode over to Ianto with Bevan firmly clamped around his neck.

Reaching him Ianto put his arm around Jack's waist.

"Everyone," Ianto announced "I would like you to meet my boyfriend."

Rhiannon looked confused. "But it's Jack!" Jack winked at her. "So you're saying he's the other tenant? The one you're dating is Jack, as in Jack Harkness?"

"Yes"

"Bevan, is this your big surprise?" Rhys asked.

Bevan nodded. "Daddy lives door next to Daddy. It was real hard, to keep the secret, but they both said just to say Daddy helped and that would not be telling fibs."

"So are you back to stay?" Johnny asked, placing a plate of hamburgers and sausages onto the table.

Ianto put his arm around Jack. "Yes I am." They both reached in and kissed gently.

"Stay, like in really stay?" Rhiannon repeated Johnny's question.

"As long as Ianto will have me." Jack looked at Ianto who leaned in and kissed him.

"And this flat, and everything. That was you?" Rhys found his voice and Jack smiled, nodding.

"I'm hungry," Bevan said, leaning out towards the table before either could reply.

"Right everyone, I think we've had the surprise of the day. Grub's up and as always birthday boy is first," Ianto announced and placed a sausage into a slice of bread, added sauce, and handed it to Bevan.

"Shock is that what you call this. I need beer to recover from this," Rhys picked up his bottle and drained it the last drop.

* * *

"You are a sly one," Rhiannon said as the cleared up the table in the garden, now a ruin of scattered paper plates covered in crusts and half-eaten sausages and burgers.

"We figured today would be a good day."

"When did you find out?" Rhiannon asked Ianto.

"Day after I moved in. There was Jack, Sunday newspaper under his arm, bag full of buns in the other."

"Why all the secrecy? Were you worried we would see him off?"

"No, you've had already given him a seeing to and normally that does the job."

Rhiannon punch his arm. "OW!" He rubbed the top of his arm.

"But you have a history, Bevan..."

"It's different this time round."

"But how? The past is the past," she pointed out.

We're on equal footing."

"But…

"Fresh start. We still have a lot to work through but there's real wisdom in just letting go and allowing yourself to move forward."

"And what if he hurts you again?" They both looked across to see Jack talking to Rhys, beer bottle in hand, having a deep conversation, which from the drift was a discussion as to why rugby was a man's game.

"Oh, I'm sure he will, and I'll hurt him. We will say spiteful things in the heat of the moment, and get steaming mad with each other. It's just…. before Jack and I never had a good foundation to build anything on. We were at Torchwood; he was my boss. It was hardly healthy, so much between us was unsaid, both of us hurting, yet neither of us had the ability to talk to each other. If ever there was a pair of wall builders it was us. The walls we built were so high and thick neither of us could reach the other This time we are making sure we have a foundation, that even if parts get torn down and have to be rebuilt or get re-modelled we are still grounded. We have to keep focused on how we feel for each other and be prepared to stay and face the future together."

"So Susan was right."

Ianto smiled "We're taking it slow. A real relationship; talking, spending time together, finding out who we really are."

"You live next door to each other. How is that going to work?"

"That's part of our new understanding. Both of us need our own space."

"The pair of you...a strange pair, both playing at normal. And you're both sort of playing rewind, going back to the start," Rhiannon said

Ianto looked across at Jack who, seeing he had caught Ianto's gaze, threw him a thousand watt smile. Ianto smiled then put a hand on his sister's shoulder, "Well, Sometimes the end is the beginning."


	21. Moving Forward

Moving forward.

* * *

"You're early. Bevan's still at his friend's but he should be back soon," Jack said as he pulled the door wide open. Rhys approached laden with what looked like pink an avalanche of gifts.

"Not to worry, I made good time; no traffic. Bronwyn sends her apologies she's started the day with the worst bout of morning sickness so far."

"No need to explain I understand," Jack pointed out. "Try ginger beer, that worked for me."

"Oh, we've tried ginger everything." Rhys handed Jack the first of two large pink gift bags; one covered in pink fluffy angels and the other pink babies in upturned umbrellas with balloons.

"You shouldn't have." Jack took the first bag then second and saw both were filled with several wrapped gifts.

"You've got two sets of grandmothers; Mary Cooper and my mum, and then Rhiannon. They can't help themselves. When they knew I was coming up they loaded me up." Rhys handed Jack the bag on his other arm.

"That's what I mean. You shouldn't have," Jack reiterated. "Brenda and Mary have already knitted and sent up enough for twenty babies."

"It's because they are besotted with baby fever."

Jack went to take the parcel Rhys was carrying. "I'll carry this. It's from me and Bronwyn." Rhys winked at Jack.

Opening the front door wide open Rhys stepped through and followed Jack inside.

"And it will be your turn next," Jack said as Rhys took in the view from the lounge door that took in garden and sea wall. "In six months be prepared to be buried under an ocean of baby clothes."

"God, this is nice I just love this view." Rhys opened the slider door to the garden and took a deep breath. "Beach outside your back door with a breeze to blow the cobwebs out." Rhys turned to view the inside to see Ianto.

"Here she is," Ianto said proudly, cradling a pink bundle. Rhys gently took the baby in his arms.

"She's beautiful Ianto," Rhys felt her flex a little. "Did you finally settle on a name?"

"Megan Rose," Jack put his arm around Ianto.

"You forget just how tiny they are," Rhys said, stroking her hand.

"You'll soon have a reminder all of your own," Ianto pointed out.

"Can't believe it; we scored first try. I was hoping we could keep up the practice but it just happened," Rhys said, not looking up.

"How is Anwen handling it?" Jack asked.

"She's was like Bevan when he found out about Megan, she's over the moon. Can't stop talking about it. She's already drawn the baby pictures of the house, inside and out, and told it about being naughty and how to avoid getting into trouble."

"Rhys it's brilliant," Jack said as Ianto nodded in agreement and broke into huge smiles.

"Well I hope my little one is as gorgeous as Megan. I think it's wonderful she's both yours and Jacks," Rhys said.

"One of the advantages of Jack providing security and acting as the liaison for the 'Gieni' trade delegation to Earth," Ianto explained. "We had access to their reproductive services. They can combine the genetic material of any two individuals regardless of the sex to create an embryo."

"As far as anyone knows we used a surrogate and mixed our contributions together." Jack could see Rhys forming a question. "Ianto froze several samples before he had radiotherapy." Rhys nodded his understanding.

"And both our names will be on the birth certificate," Jack added.

"Well, I think it's bloody marvellous."

"Yeah, no morning sickness or trying to hide my pregnancy as a beer gut," Jack joked.

"How is Bronwyn?" Ianto asked as he now carefully handed over Megan to Jack.

"Morning sickness," Rhys repeated his earlier news.

"I'm sorry she couldn't make it," Ianto said.

"She is too, she loves coming up here." Rhys bent down and held out the large parcel over to Ianto.

It was heavy so Ianto opened it on the floor. "I made the chair but Bronwyn decorated it," Rhys said as Ianto removed the paper.

"Wow, " Jack and Ianto expressed almost simultaneously.

"I can see her just loving this," Ianto said as he admired the artwork. It was a toddler-sized chair painted pink with highlighted flowers of every colour.

"Please thank Bronwyn for us, this is amazing," Jack said.

"I keep telling her she needs to stop doing all this for friends and start selling but you know her, she likes to hide her flame under a bushel," Rhys said.

Rhys walked over to the table, picked up the angel bag and handed it to Ianto. "This is from me Mam." Rhys saw a look pass from Ianto to Jack.

"You can relax. She's now turned her full-time knitting from you to me."

"It's not that we mind; it's just we've got enough baby booties to last until she's eighteen years old," Ianto pointed out.

"Listen, there's no escaping. She sees you two along with Bevan as family. As far as she's concerned Megan Rose is her granddaughter and as such booties are something granddaughters need in abundance."

Ianto proceeded to open each gift. As the last one was opened, Rhys handed him other bag.

"This is from Mary."

"It's like they are trying to outdo each other," Jack joked at the pile of exquisite knitwear.

"Which one can out knit the other," Ianto agreed.

"I think Mary's a bit lonely now Geraint has passed and what with Gwen still swanning about in the US. Fussing over everyone is something that keeps her mind off the fact Gwen hasn't been in contact for months."

"I'll call her later invite her up for a few days?" Jack said

"She would love that," Rhys agreed.

"And there would be no argument from Bevan." Ianto nodded

Any further conversation halted as Megan made a snuffle then began an urgent cry.

"I think that means she's ready the second part of her feed. I'll go change her and settle her down." Ianto moved to take her.

A few moments passed as Jack sorted through the pile of knitted baby wear.

"It's great to see you two so happy," Rhys spoke up.

"Yeah, it got rough there for a while. A few old demons raised their heads and needed to be excised. Ianto's health scare put us back on the straight and narrow. It was a reminder we need to take each day as it comes. Tomorrow will look after itself."

"That was one hell of a fright," Rhys agreed.

"Who knew the second cell line can throw up a false negative reading? If nothing else the tests confirmed that he's been in remission since the second cell line was administered."

"I know you've both struggled at times, what couple doesn't." Rhys took a breath. "I mean it took me a long time to trust but we still have our moments and now you've got Megan."

"She is beautiful isn't she," Jack agreed.

"I'm not meaning to pry but I've always been curious. What made you decide to come back after you left?" Rhys asked

"The day I left I sat there in the car outside Ianto's flat, thinking about his last words to me. He made me promise not to regret that I had walked away. I think I feared hope. I realised that by walking away the Master and my brother would win, they had destroyed me by taking away what made me human. They had made me fear the one thing that would keep me safe from the ravages of the journey I'm on. Life is about hope, it's what starts us down every road we take. So here I am. It's not been easy." Jack paused "This is going to sound strange but I've never stayed before. I've always ended a relationship when things got tough, so in lots of ways this is all new to me."

"Well, I for one am glad you came back. You faced your past and your mistakes and look at the reward. You look the most relaxed and happy since I've known you. Fatherhood suits you and Megan is gorgeous."

"Yes she is," Ianto said coming back into the room.

"All settled?" Jack asked.

"I changed her then she finished her bottle and fell asleep on the last suck." Ianto was about to say more when Bevan flew through the door into Rhys arms.

"Big Daddy!" Rhys wrapped him up in his arms and gave him a bear hug.

"Did you see Megan, isn't she little? When she came it all happened so fast Daddy and Taddy were both working at home and they got a call. I had to go next door to Mrs Brace. I watched some television then I went to bed. Next morning I was having breakfast when Taddy called and told me I have a baby sister. When they came home she was all wrinkly and red. It was because she was only eight hours old."

"Exciting," Rhys agreed.

"I help both Dad and Tad look after her. I've even held her bottle. She likes her milk all warm. You have to be careful with her head and I am very gentle" Bevan mimicked the movements.

"So, a baby sister," Rhys encouraged.

"Yes I am a big boy now and I will have to look after her."

"Well I've got some more news for you." Bevan looked up at Rhys.

"I'm going to need your help in the big brother department because Auntie Bronwyn is going to have a baby."

Bevan looked serious. "So my sisters are Anwen and Megan and now I'm going to be a brother again, that's three."

"That's right and you can tell Megan and the new baby all your funniest jokes," Jack told him.

Bevan took in a sharp breath. "I have one right now. Why is an elephant large, grey, and wrinkly?"

Rhys pretended to think hard and looked to Bevan for the punch line.

"Because if it was small, round, and white it would be an aspirin!"

Ianto forced a laugh and stood. "Gets better every time I hear it." He picked up Bevan's backpack and headed towards the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with three opened bottles of beer and a glass of juice on a tray.

"I think it's time for a toast." Ianto handed out the drinks.

"To fatherhood," Rhys raised his bottle.

"To love, happiness, and dreams coming true," Jack replied looking at Ianto who squeezed Jack's hand.

"Absent friends," Ianto added quietly.

"Megan, Anwen, Bevan and the little one," Rhys added

They clinked bottles but before they could take a sip they heard a small cough beside them and saw it was Bevan with a raised glass. "And to the best daddies in the whole world."


	22. Epilogue - Island Time

Epilogue - Island Time.

* * *

"Has John got the message?" Ianto asked anxiously as Jack checked his vortex manipulator.

"Yes…I think so… No…" He resent the alert and message.

A few moments passed and they both heard a heard a reassuring beep from Jack's wrist strap. "They have now. John has set up an alert to let us know they've gone."

"Sorry," Ianto said as Jack put his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "It's just the last time I saw them the poor things were stressed out their minds."

"I know." Jack looked at the collection of goods piled into the launch that would cover the next few weeks as they began clearing the island and seriously replanting. "But we will provide everything they could possibly need until the island's trees have recovered."

"I hope it's enough. I don't want a single one to suffer any more than they have." Ianto looked up to see the island now coming more fully into view. As he looked up Jack's wrist strap beeped.

"They've gone," Jack reported.

"Good," Ianto said with relief.

As they edged closer the sea around them became more and more cluttered with rafts of debris that looked like objects from the house and lighter vegetation.

"It's like watching your life float by," Ianto said sadly as he used a boat hook to try and pull in familiar objects as they passed. Soon the deck was littered with the clutter they could lift as they passed.

You okay?" Ianto asked as Megan joined him. She swayed and gagged, unhappy due to the motion of the boat.

"If you call about to throw up then, yeah I'm okay," she said as now struggled to flick a bucket onto the deck with out success.

"Almost there," Ianto said trying to hook what looked like a soaked book.

"It's such a horrible feeling," she agreed and poked a raft of fronds as they passed.

"Trust me, you will feel better as soon as your feet hit the ground."

An edge marked out by white water as each wave topped the reef indicated they were close. "I'll take us over the reef," Jack called out.

Taking the steering wheel it took several runs to match the right wave so they could manoeuvre the launch over the reef. Once over they saw the small bay was thick with large trees and sections of the house, including the roof.

Bevan took back control of the wheel and, Megan, Jack, and Ianto made a free passage with the boat hooks. As they approached the shore the rubbish in the water was so thick there was only option left, throw down the anchor and wade ashore.

Jack jumped in first to test the depth. It was mid-chest and Megan and Bevan followed. Ianto then passed to them food and drink they had put together for the troop and themselves for the next few hours and waded towards for the beach with boxes balanced on their heads.

Ianto was the last one to reach the beach. All four stood, looking up the incline as they caught their breaths. There was no clear path, just a jumble of trees that looked like they had been scattered by some giant playing jackstraws.

"I can't believe you got me all the way up that hill through that," Bevan said.

"I can't either," Ianto said in shock.

"Just how did you manage it, Tad?" Megan asked, wide-eyed.

"Truthfully I have no idea, it's a blur. All I could think of was getting Bevan to safety. I do recall at one point one of the bigger trees fell in front of us and I threw you over, Bevan. You were so angry with me you thumped me one," Ianto laughed

Bevan didn't join in. It was a retelling of a tale they had heard many times but seeing the reality was something sobering.

"I'm sorry, Tad."

"You were three, Bevan; confused, scared, and then someone you hardly knew threw you over a tree."

"Where is the house?" Megan asked squinting.

"This is home beach." Ianto looked left to right to get his bearings and saw something that looked familiar: the log that marked the boundary where Bevan was to wait until a grown up joined him. "It's up there by the rock outcrop." Ianto pointed and they could just see what looked like a wall.

"It's a shame your wrist strap can't just whisk us up there, Dad," Megan said.

"Feeling a better?" Jack asked.

"Hungry."

"Good point," Ianto said, now looking through the supplies.

"It's going to be one hell of a climb. From recollection there is a huge tide mark of rubbish caught by the underside of the house. There is no way we are going to cut a way through so eat now if you need to. Take water with you. We carry only what we need and immediate rations for the troop."

"I can't wait to see them," Megan bit into a food bar then talked with her mouth full. "They sound funny and cute all at the same time."

"And noisy and very argumentative when they are of mind," Ianto added as he settled his backpack into a comfortable position.

"Did I tell you about the time I managed to catch one?" Jack started to make his way over the first fallen tree.

"Yes, Dad," Megan and Bevan replied together.

* * *

Reaching down Jack pulled Megan up onto the floor of the house.

She shed her backpack and lay on her back like a floundered fish. She closed her eyes, enjoying just lying there. Moments later she felt a large drink container forced into her hand.

"Told you once you were on dry land you would feel much better," Ianto said to her prone form.

Her eyes flew open and she threw him a filthy look.

Ianto approached the troop. Some were huddled around their fallen members; others were looking around in dismay and crying in what sounded like soft sobs, trying to comfort each other.

Jack handed Ianto the backpack containing the food they needed for them.

Opening it he laid out a row of food. Once laid out he filled up several open containers with water.

In their grief it took several moments for the troop to realise someone had joined them on the floor. One squeak and they turned as one body. Ianto sat down and took a piece of fruit and held it out. A chirp of recognition was followed by more chirps and the troop moved forward and began to eat and drink. Just like with their ordeal under the chair they ensured the smallest were fed and watered first before the larger members of the troop moved forward.

"They are adorable," Megan said as she now joined Ianto. She stilled as one moved forward and touched Ianto's hand. Several others just as gently touched Ianto's hand with a small chirp.

"I think they are saying thank you," Bevan said, who was standing next to Jack.

Several moments passed as they watched when Bevan turned to look at where they had lain for so many hours during that terrible time.

"And we all managed to fit under there." Bevan pointed to the remains of the sofa then the troop. "In my mind it always seemed a lot bigger and a lot less smelly."

"You were smaller," Ianto pointed out now joining him.

"You're a hero, Tad," Bevan admitted.

"Yeah, a real hero." Megan put her arms around him.

"There is so much work," Ianto said as he pulled away and started to survey the damage.

Standing on the edge of the floor Ianto looked down towards Jack's bay. Jack joined him and pulled Ianto into a kiss. "I can't wait to clear our private beach."

"Daaaad! Taaaaaad! Do you have to do that here?" Megan put her hands across her eyes.

"Yeah, get a room guys," Bevan added, looking away.

"Do you hear that Jack? Our children are embarrassed by seeing their parents kiss."

"Not so much embarrassed as grossed out." Megan now looked over the edge. "And I want my own room here." She pointed to the ground, trying to change the subject.

"Well, let's try and sort out some shelter for this lot and then we can head down and Bevan can unveil his plans," Ianto said.

"I've tried to incorporate everything everyone asked for and tried to keep it simple," Bevan said seriously

Jack put his arm around him "I'm so proud your first architectural plan."

"We build this, and you might end with a commission from some of the other residents," Ianto added.

"Do you really think so Dad?" Bevan asked.

"If they stay," John said, appearing and looked Ianto up and down.

"Wow, Eye Candy...still Eye Candy."

"Megan, Bevan...this is John Hart," Jack said.

"Nice to meet you," Megan said then, ignoring their visitor, she picked up and threw her backpack on and started climbing over the rubbish heap. I 'm going back to the beach," she declared then vanished from sight.

"So you must be Bevan." John eyed the young man up and down hungrily and made a sound which sounded like a growl of appreciation.

"John!" Jack said sharply.

"What? I'm just enjoying the scenery, and I have to say Bevan you have the best from both your Dads; the button noise, the hair, and the looks and I bet you look spectacular in a suit." He raised his eyebrows up and down.

"Stop hitting on my son," Ianto said, moving to stand between John and Bevan

John lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! I was going to offer my help, but if I'm not wanted..."

"What sort of help?" Jack narrowed his eyes.

"I have this handy little gadget I picked up recently. Could help you clear a path all the way down to the beach with virtually the press of a button. But if I'm not welcome…"

Jack let out a growl. "On one condition: Bevan and Megan are out of bounds."

John looked between the pair and gave a twisted smile. "You know you two are such fun to wind up...as if… I do have some standards, although I have to say it was worth it for the look on both your faces."

He threw what looked like a short wand covered in buttons in Jack's direction.

"And this," he threw another, a long silver object, this time towards Ianto.

"Thanks," Jack said. He examined the object as he turned it over in his hand

Catching the silver tube, Ianto saw it was a document scroll. He opened it and began to read. "You are giving us the island?" Ianto burst out.

"All legal," John moved beside Ianto and pointed to his own signature and the seal that makes the transfer official. "Let's be honest...what do I want with an island? I'll only lose it in a card game."

"Is there something we should know?"

"Why do people always think I am trying to con them...?" He looked at Jack and Ianto who were staring at him with their arms crossed. "Okay, there might be a small something about being responsible for re-establishing the island, but hey you have that covered, right? And as you are now big successful business types who can afford to call passing transport ships, I thought..."

"You thought," Jack repeated.

"I thought with Ianto's Wongai addiction..."

"Wongai what?" Bevan interrupted, enjoying the interaction because there wasn't much that could unnerve either of his Dads and also it gave him some insight into his Dads' past. _'Both dads' pasts,_' he thought looking between all three.

"Fruit. I'll explain later," Ianto added quickly.

"Fruit with one hell of a punch. Watch out for those red ones. And I am aggrieved that my efforts to be nice are being thrown back at me."

"It's not that we are ungrateful. It's just we know you so well," Jack said as Ianto handed him the document.

"You wound me," John said with an exaggerated air. He placed his hand over his heart as if shot.

"All looks good and legal," Jack agreed as he finished looking over the document.

"Thank you," John said.

"But I will adjust the clause where it gives you unlimited rights to store anything anytime."

"What?" Ianto snatched the document from Jack's hand.

"Press there." Jack pointed to a small dot under 'fine print'.

Ianto pressed the dot and a screen of other info came up. Reading through Ianto laughed out loud. "And said owners give John Hart access to any part of said island as described in clause 43.8; to store, keep safe, and hide as is required any substance legal or otherwise that should come into his possession."

"Well, it was worth a try." John pulled out a second scroll holder and slapped it into Ianto's held out hand.

"I'll double-check this one before we countersign," Jack waggled his finger at John who was looking as innocent as he could in the circumstances.

John looked around. "This place is a dump and you are welcome to it," he looked hungrily at Bevan again

"Hey, Bevan! Call me in ten years if you're interested. I promise I can give a once in a lifetime experience. Ask your Tad." John winked and blew Ianto an air kiss. "And you're Dad."

"Tad?" Bevan looked at Ianto who flushed a deep red. "Dad?" He looked at Jack.

"This is embarrassing." Ianto wiped his hands over his face.

"What did he mean you and Dad?"

"On that note I'm leaving so we can make a start on that path." Ianto took the other device on from Jack.

"It's mostly point and press the green button," John explained. "And you know all about lining up and pressing buttons, right Ianto?"

"Good-bye and thanks for the island," Ianto stammered and headed over the rubbish.

"I'll help you," Bevan said, looking back, still amused at the exchange. He had never seen his Tad go that shade of red ever.

"You got yourself sorted now? Angst all done with?" John asked as Bevan's head disappeared.

Jack nodded. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Don't; just promise me my debt to you is paid."

"In full," Jack added, indicating to the real transfer document.

"Jack, you are one lucky man. If it hadn't worked out I might have been tempted myself."

"You?" Jack looked at him, surprised.

"Closest call I've had in a long time. Double thanks for rescuing me."

"Where are you off to now?" Jack asked.

"Not sure. Earth has so many temptations but I think it's time for me to dust some dirt off my shoes and do some travelling, see what else is out there. You could always join me once Ianto has..." He didn't finish the sentence.

Jack took a deep breath. "I've learnt a lot in the past few years. One of many lessons is that all the wonders of the universe, time and space can be summed up for me in one word: 'Family'. If I am fortunate to love this deeply in the future I intend never to squander that gift again."

"Give my love to Ianto," John said as he faded into nothingness.

Watching as the final specks of time matter faded, Jack looked around and took a moment to reflect on the journey that had brought them to here. It had been a long and hard road, fights, arguments, making up, loving support, being here, the past and the future. The future...he now had a future. Before, he had just been going through the motions of living. Now he had a life. It was possible to be normal, to have all that his heart most desired. He had proven it so. Once he would have rejected any suggestion that the Captain Jack Harkness would settle down and be ordinary. Now his very ordinariness was extraordinary.

He looked at the devastation and it reminded him of what had been the state of his shattered soul. And Ianto, his anchor, the person who kept him there firmly in his loving embrace. A maddingly difficult and stubborn man. Jack recalled he had once accused him of using attrition as a way to win.

He chuckled to himself. That man was so obstinate when it came to Jack. He heard the path being cleared, listening as he and Bevan worked together. From the conversation Bevan was asking probing and awkward questions.

His gaze followed what had been the path down to the sea. There was the beach where in a daze Ianto revealed himself in a way Jack had never envisaged by asking for a wish. Two wishes, in fact; the first that Bevan should be happy, and secondly that Ianto could be loved back by the person he loved. Jack hoped he had fulfilled this wish a thousand times over every day. Jack still didn't feel worthy of being loved like this.

He stopped himself. How easy it was to fall back into such thoughts._' Focus, focus on every day and make it count,'_ he said to himself. Taking a final glance around the shattered remains of the past he headed down the newly formed path to start rebuilding the future anew.


	23. Bonus Chapter

Thank you to my Beta Milady Dragon who manages to turn my work into readable English.

To all my readers and to those of you who took the time to review a big Thank you. You are a wonderful forgiving and appreciative audience.

* * *

**Bonus Chapter**

A seeing to at 'The Dog and Cock Inn'.

* * *

"You can't leave without trying a pint of Brains bitter," Gwen said to her new boss Rex Matheson they approached a local public house in Cardiff.

"Brains what? I'm not drinking nothing with brains in it," Rex told her bluntly.

"Brains is a local beer, it's not made from actual brains," Gwen replied

"And what is it with the British and bar names?" Rex looked at the sign with a cockerel next to a dog and let out a guffaw. "Dog and Cock sounds dirty to me."

Gwen pushed her elbow into him "You sound just like Jack. He could make anything sound dirty, he could. Anyway nothing's wrong with 'Dog and Cock' for a pub name. That's short for public house, and we're in Wales. Remember the bridge?" Gwen said as she pushed open the door.

"Yeah, a bridge I have to pay to go over," Rex said as Gwen pulled the pub door open and a waft of warm, beery air hit him. "Twice. And now Brains beer?"

Stepping through the door he let his eyes adjust to the dim interior. It was crowded and he pushed his way to the bar after Gwen.

"Half of Brains bitter and a pint of ale," Gwen ordered.

"Don't think I can handle a full pint?" Rex said with a swagger.

"This is real beer here, Yank," he heard a voice ring out.

"You heard; real beer, none of that horse piss you Americans drink," another voice called out. Rex looked around and saw a rough looking man with a shaved head glowering at him.

"If that's a challenge," Rex declared in the man's direction.

"You sure?" Gwen said as an aside. "Brains bitter is…"

"Hey listen, if it's a man's drink and this is England I'll have a full pint," Rex told her loudly accepting the challenge.

"This is bloody Wales mate." Rex found himself corrected as several heads turned towards him.

"So much for English hospitality," Rex said under his breath.

"Welsh," Gwen kicked his shin.

"Let's drink this and get out of here," Rex told her as the drinks appeared before her.

Rex wrapped his hand around the pint glass and took a sip. He tried to suppress the involuntary cough; it was strong but smooth. He was about to comment when he heard a shout.

He looked up to see a woman grasping a large handbag pushing her way towards them.

"You have got one hell of a nerve coming into my local," Rhiannon reached Gwen and eyeballed her.

"Rhiannon. I just came in here to have a quiet drink," Gwen said putting her glass on the bar.

"Bloody cheek, after what you did. You slut!"

"You know nothing…" Gwen started to say when she found her face full of beer. She raised her hands to clear her eyes when she saw a fist headed her way. Jumping back she stood on Rex's foot.

Beer sloshed out of the pint glass in Rex's hand and he gasped as it soaked his chest. The pain the heel on the top of his foot sent a shearing pain up his leg and he groaned. Before he could react further he saw a hand bag swing and just miss Gwen's nose.

"You broke my brother's heart," Rhia screamed, swinging the bag again.

"It was not all my fault there were two of us. Jack…" Gwen tried to explain, backing up.

"Jack," Rhiannon bellowed. "I gave him what for months ago."

"You don't understand," Gwen said as she found herself blocked by a wall of bodies.

"Oh I understand alright," Rhia pointed at Gwen. "You slept with my brother's lover and broke his heart." Rhia looked around at the crowd. "And he was sick with leukaemia."

"I didn't know."

"Didn't want to know more like, because you just wanted Jack." Rhia leaned forward.

"Jack, as is Jack Harkness?" Rex shouted his question at Gwen.

"My brother walked in on them while she was laid flat on her back, moaning. Fucking trollop." Rhia pulled herself up to her full height.

"That's not fair! Jack and me…"

Rhiannon spat towards Gwen. "You and Jack! There was no Jack and you. It was Jack and Ianto. I hate you, Gwen Cooper, for what you did. Now get out of my local!" Rhiannon pointed to the door.

Gwen felt her heart race. "You can't order me around." Gwen stared Rhiannon out.

"Whore!" Gwen felt her face begin to burn as the crowd mumbled its agreement.

Gwen felt a hand on the top of her arm. "We should leave," she heard Rex's voice and threw off the arm.

"I slept with Jack for one reason and one reason only: because he deserved better than estate trash," Gwen spat back

A swirl of moment and Gwen saw stars and fell backwards but the crowd pushed her forward.

"Estate trash," Rhiannon screamed as she grabbed handfuls of Gwen's hair and slammed her handbag into Gwen's face. "Broke his heart you slut!" Rhiannon bellowed.

Gwen braced against the ever-increasing onslaught of flying fists and the whack of the bag while calling Gwen every possible name that came to mind in a torrent increasing in crescendo.

The onslaught eased as Rhia was pulled off her. Dazed, Gwen looked through the strands of her hair now stuck to her face, caused by the beer that was now sticky. To her dismay Rhiannon threw off those holding her back and raced towards her.

In what seemed like flash of red and pain slammed Gwen back and found herself pinned to the floor.

Gwen held her arms up to protect her face. Rhiannon sat on her chest, slamming her purse into her head and upper body. Moments passed in a red haze as the bar now chanted Rhia's name. The pressure eased and Rex's face swam into view. With strong hands he pulled her up by her leather jacket and by pushing and shoving her through the crowd she found herself outside in the cold air.

Gulping down air she heard sirens in the distance.

A door opened and Rhia shouted. "And don't fucking show your fucking slut face in here again!"

The door slammed closed and they could both hear the bar crowd cheering and clapping Rhia's return.

The door hit Rhiannon's back and the pub erupted around her. In seconds she found a beer glass in her hand and she drained in four gulps. She straightened her hair and clothing as the bar called her name as a chant.

Just as she reached the bar two police offers entered.

"We've heard there was a disturbance," Constable Andy stated.

"Yes, there was but nothing to see now," the barman shouted at them over the applause and chanting

"Was anyone hurt?" Andy called out looking around.

"Only pride," the barman said.

"So there was a fight?" Andy moved closer to the bar to hear the reply.

"You might call it a fight but round here we call it a seeing to." the barman replied.

"And right seeing to it was," a voice spoke up.

"And no one's complaining because this one had it coming," the barmaid added.

"Here love this is on the house." Rhiannon turned to see the barmaid place a gin and tonic before her.

"I figure that black eye is for Rhys as well as your brother." She winked at Rhiannon.

"So I'm guessing it was Gwen Cooper in here?" Andy asked.

"And if you see her you tell her she's never to step foot in here again," the barman said, now collecting glasses from the bar.

Andy nodded and pulling the young police woman they pushed their way outside.

"What the hell was that about?" she asked after Andy had called in his report.

"Nothing, just a seeing to," Andy replied.

"A what?"

"Local term where a wrong is righted and Rhiannon had one hell of a wrong to right," Andy explained.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Local issue, we have our ways, see. Grudge made good."

"Local as in Wales?" she asked, still confused

"No, local as in this local," Andy explained pointing at the pub. "One rule round here: never walk into a local if the local happens to be the local of the person who has a grudge what needs seeing to."

The police blinked then came back to something she understood. "Don't you think we should look for the victim and find out if they are okay and get a statement?"

"No point."

"No point!" the policewoman repeated.

"Local issue sorted."

"Local issue as in local public house brawl issue that has now been righted?" she tried to make sense of the last few moments.

"No, as is in one woman gave another a seeing to that has been a long coming."

"Wales," the young police woman grumbled as they headed back to their police vehicle.


End file.
